This is platform U and may I make an announcement:
Grannymar has missed the train.
As clues go it’s not cryptic. Don’t worry, Grannymar. Ramana hasn’t even found the station yet. Just stay where you are. In the meantime please do keep your ever growing playground in check, make sure they all stand in line and have a clean handkerchief at all times. Now, children, follow the leader. Because, if you don’t, you will never ever be spoken to again. Your existence will not be acknowledged. Because Grannymar is kind and just, sweet and full of herself and forgiveness. It’s what keeps her so slim. And her comments so short. And vacuous. Indeed, maybe unnoticed by Ramana who has his own problems, she is now beginning to repeat herself.
So remember: KISS (keep it simple stupids) when it comes to GM and you’ll be just fine. Having said that I do miss Grannymar’s needle classes (I do; for god’s sake can I say anything people will actually believe?); apart from peeling tons of potatos for our respective siblings an interest in stitching the one thing we share. Pity. Still, how does the saying go: You can lead a horse in vain to find some water.
Hot tip of the day, GM, once told to me by my father when I was barely out of my nappies: There is nothing more off putting, less erotic, for a man, than to come across the dead cuttings of a woman’s crowning glory – whether on the floor, in the toilet, in your comb or preserved for eternity on your blog. Why do you think a large contingent of the most eminent (male) hairdressers have no sexual interest in women?
Hugs and kisses,