Looks are everything. Don’t buy into anyone reassuring this not to be so.
Yesterday I made the acquaintance of a woman who may become a friend. Not least because she is candid. When I learnt that she is one and a half years younger than me I momentarily lost my thread of coherent speech. From now on I shall look into the mirror, and at myself, in a new light. No, make that in the dark.
To say that I am shell shocked would be to say that I am a crab facing a human for the first and last time.
It sparked a conversation with the Angel, over dinner, about time warps. I love time warps. You can tell a woman’s heyday by the way she does her eyes, plucks her eyebrows. Do men inhabit a space in ‘time warp’? Don’t think so. They tend to go with the flow. What’s a beer belly among aficionados? Though men will mourn over a receding hair line. Which is why I harbour a growing hatred of Delilah. Why did she have to break Samson’s spell?
My one time warp, in my mind’s eye, is my mother. Frozen in time as it were. Since I rarely see her, though speak to her every week for at least an hour at a time, her voice still that of the young woman she was, possibly still is. Have any of you ever contemplated that voice doesn’t appear to age? Other than when one minute you are a choir boy the next you are a man?
I am now older than my mother the way I see/remember her. And my youngest sister, the formidable and pragmatic if ever there was one, mother of four of her own, is still that tiny little girl with big wide eyes, looking at her big sister for reassurance. Except she doesn’t need it any longer.
U
DO MEN LIVE IN TIME WARPS?
ANSWER
no…. they live in worm holes
Comment by finlaygray — May 14, 2012 @ 13:59 |
No wonder I love men.
U
Comment by bitchontheblog — May 14, 2012 @ 14:13 |
Here’s my secret to looking about 10 years younger than I am. It’s SO simple: drink only herbal tea and filtered water, eat NOTHING processed, stay away from sugar (which means you can be near it, but don’t ingest it), only go out at night and appear in rooms lit with candles, for God’s sake don’t eat meat or meat products (like dairy), and live a life without worry or anger or stress.
Got it? Good!
You know, people would pay a lot of money for this info, so use it and be amazed at how tranformational it is to you looks. Oh, and did I mention to hang around MUCH older people, preferably life-long smokers who’ve eaten poorly all their lives and have had positions in the government or working with large groups of small children? That part is quite important.
Comment by Lorna's Voice — May 14, 2012 @ 15:10 |
All good advice, Lorna. Camomile tea, water. Neither am I a sweetie, so no sugar for me. Smoking I leave to one of my sisters. And, on account of good genes, people usually take me for at least ten years younger than I am. Which is great because it means that they make allowances for my dropping the odd clanger which, at my age, neither desirable nor acceptable.
So, when I learn that by dint of the year they were born someone is younger than me I go into shock. I go into John McEnroe mode at Wimbledon “You can’t be serious”. Ever since I went into double figures I’ve never cared how old I am. All I wanted was to make it into adulthood.
Maybe you’ll agree, there is only one feature to watch (I don’t do wrinkles – thank the Lord or my parents) and that is the jaw line. As was pointed out to me by bestest worst old friend one would wish for in bad times, and could do without in good times: Going jowly. And bald. Well, since he is a year older than me and, to top it all, a man, may he jowl with the best of them. My profile is still to die for. No doubt due to my frequent biting onto one of my three pieces of driftwood to stifle screams at human kind’s follies.
U
Comment by bitchontheblog — May 14, 2012 @ 16:04 |
That’s interesting – the mental picture one has of oneself – and of others. For a long time I was in my mid-twenties, though that’s coming under considerable pressure from reality these days.
Comment by blackwatertown — May 15, 2012 @ 00:09 |
Yes, the mental picture we have of ourselves. I am Ms Sunshine. However, the very first (official) picture taken of me at age 3 months and my first passport photograph (age 5) will tell a very different story. I knew what life had in store for me. A big frown. Keep smiling.
U
Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 03:30 |
Lorna must have the willpower of the saints or is living with vampires. Only go out after dark and in candlelight? Eat no meat or dairy? Nothing processed? No sugar? Even if I could do all of that, how on earth could I possibly live a life without worry, anger or stress? I work for the Postal Service.
Comment by writingfeemail — May 15, 2012 @ 02:06 |
I agree, Lorna is a law onto herself. As to you, your worry, anger and stress: I like all my posties. Am on first name terms with them. Still, it’s one thing to deliver, another to manage delivery.
U
Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 02:20 |