The Bleeding Obvious

If you don’t want people to READ your thoughts don’t WRITE them down.

Hugs and kisses

U

Options paralysis

There are questionable sayings. Like “Whenever a door closes another one opens”. Not in my experience. A door will close (make sure your foot doesn’t get caught in it and just walk down the corridor – an exit will show itself) and then – after a suitable interval of agonizing –  not ONE, nay, several doors will open all at once. Like buses. First there is none for twenty minutes. Then you’ve forgotten which number is yours. Come to think of it: That’s how carelessly I live my life. Some of my wonderous fellow human beings having it all mapped out. Sweethearts, if you are one of them make sure you know how to read a map without having to turn it upside down in order to take the right or left turn on route from A to B.

Apropos of nothing: I don’t like revolving doors. They are a menace and in these ‘health and safety’  hyper aware times should be banned.

U

Follow the leader

Have just come back from an appointment. The glad tidings being that I was asked: “Who is leading this meeting? You or me?” I didn’t say that anyone having to ask that question surely must know the answer. I smiled and put myself on a leash.

U

Boo to the goose

You think snails are slow? Don’t.

People are too sensitive.

If I say that I wouldn’t do/wear/say/drive X, Y and Z doesn’t mean that I criticize someone who does. It’s one of the saddest – and totally unnecessary – parts of human nature to go on the defensive as soon as you don’t nod your head.

Twice in my early life I was reduced to keep snails as pets. Don’t weep for me. They taught me a lot – not least that you may offer salad leaves, a shoe box as a home and name them (yes,  you too, Amanda)  it won’t stop them fleeing your tender loving care. The swines. Since when I value little more than loyalty.

Yes, so people and snails are far too sensitive.  All you need to do is touch a snail’s tendrils or just lift it up carefully off the ground and it will retreat into its shell. Fast. Very fast  considering how slow they are. Patience is the name of the game with snails. They will emerge again. Eventually. Other than that I think they are deaf. Impervious to reason. I am not surprised people eat them drenched in garlic butter. To avert attention how utterly tasteless (and rubbery) they [the snails] are.

Remember to starve snails for 24 hours should you wish to consume them.

U

Out

Can you please help me to save myself from myself.

Just wrote social commentary of the most inflammatory kind. Not published. Yet.

It is so difficult to know where to draw the line. What to keep to yourself. Where tact ends and truth starts.

U

In command

Considering how easy my life is, it’s bloody complicated.

Have come to comforting conclusion that I’d make a fine General. By NOT invading Russia in winter (vital for survival) I’d win many a battle and probably be shot before given the chance to win the war.

U

Babylon

Bike Hike Babe made me think (not for the first time) by mentioning monastery and vow of silence.

Let’s forget that I’d rather lose my tongue than my eyesight (for obvious reasons). The tongue, much underrated – other than when you go to the doctor, kiss someone or need to eat – being vital to speak.

Lost myself in thought here. Before I get on ‘locked in syndrome’, another of my nightmares, let us stay with communication. Remember: We are talking vow of silence. Why oh why oh why would anyone wish to suppress that which comes natural? Speak to each other, communicate.

But then, maybe, those who take those vows have nothing to say. Or are so oppressed, supressed, depressed they’d rather be quiet than partake in normal human exchange.  Come to think of it, BHB: So those monks who refuse themselves by not talking do they shut their ears to – in no particular order – seagulls (you can’t shut them up) or music (the most divine that most my friends and the Angel listen to as a form of nourishment to feed the soul)?

We were given language for a reason. Even a lion yawns.

U

Acid Test

Some people are fertile compost. Others are killers – and not only of weeds.

The majority – so do take heart and don’t fret – are neutral. Neutral, as in ‘having little impact’.

U

?

THAT IS IT: Change.

From now on I shall no longer be myself.

U

Superfluous

I do battle with myself. Daily.

It’s entertaining. And awful.

What to say, why to say, how to say, when to say, where to say – it. The only thing certain is the WHO says it – that’s me.

What to say? That’s easy. I have plenty to say. Why? I don’t know. Maybe it needs to be said. How? Now we are running into serious difficulty. When? Not now. Where? Well …

So should I die of bowel cancer you only have yourselves to blame.

U