Idiotic

“Those who were blind did not know of the elephant they touched”. I dispute this. Put me in a dark room and I’ll soon tell you what I am touching. Though the difference between a rat and a hamster can only be determined by their tail. Their squeak. And their bite.

U

Later

I love future. I don’t have to deal with it now.

U

Drawing attention

People come in different guises. Some are exhausting. Some are a breath of fresh air. Some will leave you with a shiver. Some are all three in one. Some will make you wish you were never born. And some who uttered that last sentence of mine tend to be drama queens given to exaggeration.

Do not dismiss drama queens and exaggeration. Not only does theatre and opera live off the dramatic flourish, satire too (written or drawn) sucks inspiration out of the common, blowing observation of life out of all proportion to catch your attention.

I wish I were a balloon.

U

My backyard

Not long ago I created the category of “Pretentious Shit”. Just noticed it’s woefully undernourished.

I can’t say I like other people’s pretentious shit but that doesn’t stop me from producing it myself. It’s like – cast your mind back – the difference between changing your own darling’s nappies and that of your not so darling friend’s you are babysittng. Why does our baby’s shit never smell or is as revolting as that of someone else’s? Answer to be found on the back of the page.

Well, if you are in the mood and as not to short change you, here is some pretentious shit:

“The more you stand back from the view the more clearly you see it.”  Excellent. I’ll bear that in mind next time I’ll find myself at a cliff top taking a shot inland.

If you want real, and truly stinking to high heaven, pretentious shit try this for size: “Paradigm shift”. Paradigm Shift? I will not tell you who those people are who preen themselves on “paradigm shift”. It would be politically incorrect to do so and I’d be lynched even before I press the delete button.

Ah, that reminds me: Same boat, different iceberg; pretentious shit nevertheless: “Vignettes”. Fine if you are French. If you aren’t … see above.

In future I shall try and make up my own pretentious shit which should come natural.

Mwah,

U

Call of nature

Apart from its obvious function I think the bladder a most useful organ.

Unless you are paralysed, bedridden or a baby the urge to empty will make you move, stretch your legs,  get up and go. Interrupt the flow(!), make you come to a standstill, regroup. Often for the better.

U