Bitch on the Blog

March 31, 2010

Fashion police

Filed under: Bureaucracy,Culture — bitchontheblog @ 10:44
Tags: , , , ,

Looney, my views on abortion as promised to you have to wait.

I have more pressing things on my mind this minute – not least that the wearing of jimjams (that’s pyjamas to you and me) in bright daylight, public and on the streets of China is causing somewhat of a headache to the government. China appears anxious not to insult fashion sense of international visitors attending the forthcoming World Expo. One civilian who refuses to give up his perfectly stylish jimjams has challenged the Chinese government to comment on the rumour that Scottish men do not wear protective garments (or thongs as the case maybe) underneath their kilts.

I love this world: One minute we kill each other, the next I learn that sartorial rules given in the run up to the 2008 Beijing Olympics by the Chinese are about to be re-issued, and I  kid you not:

“Comb hair appropriately for your age” – Good job that Zandra Rhodes and I are unlikely to attend.

“Women should disguise THICK ankles with dark stockings” – Whilst I agree with the motion in principle I am a little lost as to how thick ankles undisguised might impact on proceedings.

“Men should steer clear of white socks with black shoes” – Does it really need the Chinese to tell us what’s been known forever, a fashion sin not to be commited unless you are 18, Fred Astaire, Noel Coward or Michael Jackson?

Now we are getting positively prescriptive: “Do not wear more than THREE colours in an outfit.” 

Let’s rope in a currently unemployed psychologist: “Too small clothes make people feel the wearer is unreliable”. 

Such a pity that I am not off to China any time soon otherwise I’d pack some multi coloured shrunk night gowns (they don’t have an edict on those yet), comb my hair in directions following the compass and take along a man wearing socks with sandals (used to be easy to come by in the UK). I don’t know what to do about ankles since mine are not thick (yes, I know, it’s one my pet hates too, how vanity will make you slip in little pieces of unnecessary information about yourself. What else are blogs for?).

I shall now go and consult Debrett.

Can’t get hold of my youngest sister right now otherwise I’d bid you Shanghain greetings.




  1. I am prejudiced against thick ankles too since mine aren’t. I shouldn’t admit that.

    And the fashion police aren’t doing their job. The fashionable clothes they show are wild with clashing colo(u)rs and patterns & the models look like they didn’t comb their hair after they got up. I just saw a pretty girl on Wall Street telling how the market went up for the 1st time since our downfall & all I could think was, “Why didn’t she comb her hair?”

    Comment by bikehikebabe — March 31, 2010 @ 14:15 | Reply

    • What a shallow person you prove to be, BHB: There you are being elevated by good tidings on Wall Street and all you care about is the news reader’s hair?

      When still under my mother’s jurisdiction I too was told that blue and green don’t go together. So why does the ocean – water being her element – combine both those colours most beautifully? Let’s say she didn’t like the question. And then there were red and orange – which under no circumstances were to meet in the same garment. At least she left my hair alone since it makes little difference to curls whether they are combed or not.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 1, 2010 @ 19:16 | Reply

  2. Ursula, you do need to credit them for allowing much more flexibility than a few years back when everyone was required to wear Mao suits! Then you need to consider the economic benefits of having a million fashion police employed to stand on every corner. A final consideration is whether it is better to accept a few fashion regulations in China, or regulations in the West that deem humans to be engaged in a crime against Mother Earth when they emit CO2 as they exhale! Don’t all governments have a moral duty to issue inane regulations?

    Comment by Looney — March 31, 2010 @ 15:17 | Reply

    • Oh god, yes, Looney, those Mao suits were a nightmare. Denying the female form. And of dismal colour as far as I remember.

      As to emissions: Why don’t we just all lie down and die? It’d be so much easier on planet earth and its ozone layer. Never mind that no one would be around any longer to appreciate the beauty of this world.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 1, 2010 @ 19:20 | Reply

      • Yup! Then Mother earth can get on, recover and allow some other destructive species to evolve. And so it goes on…

        Now where did I put my virus evolution kit?

        One thing about uniforms…no arguments and bullying about trendy or not trendy attire in the playground. I have a friend whose wife is Persian . They return to Iran every so often and love the way that the young women slowly but surely turn the tables on the religious fashion police. They obey the rules about their all enveloping form hiding garments when they are issued every so often, Gradually, week by week they make them closer fitting until they fulfil the letter of the law but not the intention. As David once said to me, “It’s like telling a teenage girl what she can or cannot wear. She’ll always find away to get round it.”

        Comment by Magpie11 — April 1, 2010 @ 19:41 | Reply

  3. How can you put those two gentlemen in the same class as the upstart Jackson?
    I could not recall either Astaire or Coward wearing white socks, On the contrary I know that Fred Astaire wore Spats from time to time and would have thought that Noel Coward may have done likewise. Being me I have done a very wide check on the web and have not found any indication that either of these have broken the gentleman’s code of always wearing Black Socks…not even grey socks are acceptable (I’m not a gentleman in that case). Have to say that I have found lots of pictures of Astaire wearing spats but none of Coward.

    Something I HATE is the wearing of suits without ties and another is the wearing of blazers or sports coats with JEANS!

    I have to hold myself back here….

    As for China…well, I think I might get myself a George Melley out fit if I was visiting. I might just get away with it!

    If you want to understand the old British attitude to dress then go here:

    These days I have thicker ankles….Blood pressure tabs!

    Comment by Magpie11 — March 31, 2010 @ 16:52 | Reply

    • “How can you put those two gentlemen in the same class as the upstart Jackson?” (Magpie 11)

      Michael Jackson was a better dancer than Fred Astaire–besides the singing. Everything Fred Astaire did, Ginger Rogers did backwards & in high heels. Fred gets too much credit. Watch TV’s “So You Think You Can Dance?” It blows my mind that what I see is possible.

      Comment by bikehikebabe — March 31, 2010 @ 19:48 | Reply

  4. cannot agree… but then I would never compare them as their dance genres were completely different… We all know abut Adele and Ginger…but they didn’t have to worry about where they were going and Fred took all the blame if things went wrong.

    Also, I wouldn’t call Jackson a dancer…or even singer. But the violence and aggression in so much modern music (Music?) appals me…. but don’t forget I can’t stand Sinatra either.

    As for Fred getting too much credit…for those who are fans (I’m not really)he is linked inextricably with his partners.
    As a dancer… I would love to dance like he did..or Gene Kelly or Bojangles Robinson or even my late father in law. That’s another story tho.

    Comment by Magpie11 — March 31, 2010 @ 20:10 | Reply

  5. Oh yes! I’ve just been reminded…Fred was a great tp dancer, did all nhisoown choreography and Ginger never had to do the tapping backwards and in high heels. 😉

    Oh yes the quote about doing everything backwards and in high heels is from her and she admitted later that she was actually joking.

    “Ginger was brilliantly effective. She made everything work for her. Actually she made things very fine for both of us and she deserves most of the credit for our success.” Fred Astaire

    Believe me, Ginger was great. She contributed her full fifty percent in making them such a great team. She could follow Fred as if one brain was thinking. She blended with his every step and mood immaculately. He was able to do dances on screen that would have been impossible to risk if he hadn’t had a partner like Ginger – as skillful as she was attractive.”

    And they did have careers apart from each other.

    Sorry to go on but a nerve was touched.

    As for Jackson… I actually felt very sorry for him. He was a tragic figure if ever there was one. But there was always something about him that made me very uneasy if only his damaged personality. Different eras …..

    Comment by Magpie11 — March 31, 2010 @ 21:24 | Reply

    • “he is linked inextricably with his partners.” (Astaire) That’s easy. Keep your arms firm & unmoving & the 2 of you are latched together. I first learned that in pair figure skating. I had an excellent partner who held me up & placed me wherever he needed me to be. That works for Scottish dance & ballroom.

      Watch TV’s “So YouThink You Can Dance”. The dancers aren’t connected but can mirror or do exactly what the others are doing.

      I’ve danced all my life. Fred Astaire was NO big deal judging by today’s standards. Naa Naa- Ne Naa Naa. (Use the sing songy tune.)

      Comment by bikehikebabe — April 1, 2010 @ 00:26 | Reply

  6. Hey… but the mantra I always heard was ,”RED and Green should not be seen without a colour in between” It never made sense to me so I wore my Mackintoshes Hunting Tartan tie (I think that was the one).

    Being a Leo I see noting wrong with red(s) and Orange(s)…. as long as the wearer can carry them off,

    If I ever get that bottle green velvet dinner jacket I want, I’m going to be outrageous and wear a red cummerbund and Bow tie (which I will tie myself)… the right shade of red of course.

    Comment by Magpie11 — April 1, 2010 @ 19:28 | Reply

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