Bitch on the Blog

April 14, 2010

Mentoring

Filed under: Despair,Happiness,Human condition — bitchontheblog @ 13:33
Tags: , , ,

Sweethearts, somewhat belatedly, two minutes ago I have had some printed endorsement I did NOT ask for. Even the one person I can rely on loving me, by virtue of being his mother, told me a couple of  nights ago, and rather disenchanted he was too: “You know it ALL anyway”.  If ever there was an indictment. Since there is no greater sin than to disappoint one’s own child I did not have the heart to tell him that I don’t know anything.

Still, even bastards like me need a little back slapping to keep their confidence upright and in good working order, so I was gratified to find this little gem the gist of which is that  in order to be a successful bitch you need to be “a truth warrior”. I can confidently, indeed proudly, tick this box since I can’t help scraping the bottom of anyone’s barrel, particularly my own. Which is no doubt why I am so popular.

Apparently, and again I will underwrite this in blood drawn from your stones, NOT being intense and NOT telling the truth makes you “party to other people’s crimes against themselves, but is also a prescription for mediocrity and delusion.”  Would I let any of you slum it by your being mediocre and deluded? Of course not.

U

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16 Comments »

  1. Women are taught to be gushing morons. “I LOVE that dress.”–(puke) “I LOVE your hair.”–(yuck) “Your smile is beautiful.”–(yellow becomes you.– Now you gotta love me.)

    I tried being a “truth warrior” Mon. night at Scottoish dance, to a Chinese woman. “That grayed purple is for a Summer skin tone. You’re a Winter & you need a clear, true purple.” She had lots excuses why that top was best. I needed to be a bloody hard-boiled true truth warrior. “That ugly top makes you look like death & you should be put 6 feet under!”

    I’m glad you weren’t a truth warrior to your son. Horrors if he should find out that you don’t know it ALL.

    Comment by bikehikebabe — April 14, 2010 @ 14:55 | Reply

    • Let’s pursue the path of truth further (it will lead us nowhere, Bike Hike Babe; never mind, we can always turn round and retrace our steps).

      I believe you to fall into the same trap as my mother (three weeks your senior) does. There is truth and there is tact: Essentially it’s all in the delivery. One of the worst howlers she ever threw my way was (insert disappointment in her voice as only mothers can): “But Ursula, you were always SO perfect.” Well, SORRY that even I am not always in top form. This was a couple of years ago – and yes, I wasn’t up to scratch any longer on account of various dastardly spanners thrown into my workings.

      If you want a metaphor: Where I was walking an upright stride before, the last eighteen months I have been crawling. Still, it’s not such a bad thing to be pulled up short every so often. Being reminded that life’s bed of roses needs manure too in order to thrive.

      Wait till I die. Then everyone will be REALLY disappointed in me.

      This is what I hate about blogging: Before you know it you find yourself in the confessional, baring your soul.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 15, 2010 @ 04:40 | Reply

      • My downfall in raising Marie was that I said, “You are perfect.” And she was. Her room looked like you’d stepped into a hotel room it was so neat. (You couldn’t walk through her sister’s room, the floor was so covered with stuff.) She never made anything but A-s from the beginning through high school. When I called for work to be done, she was the only one that showed up. The boy’s bedroom had a door to the outside for escape.

        When she went to Stanford where everyone there were A students & she didn’t get an A she’d drop the course. She said it was because I always said, “You are perfect.” (And she was.)

        Comment by bikehikebabe — April 15, 2010 @ 14:34 | Reply

  2. As usual we’re on different wavelengths. I’ll go with the bumper sticker that said, “I’ve given up my search for truth. Now I’m looking for a good fantasy.” 🙂

    Comment by Cheerful Monk — April 15, 2010 @ 04:21 | Reply

    • Jean, we all need to ride our own “wave” – whatever its length. Sometimes our waves overlap and we surf in unison; sometimes we just marvel at a different view taken, a different angle – and, to me, so much more stimulating. In the variety of all of us is the joy of life – if sometimes infuriating.

      A couple of days ago I came across an article which I thought of interest to you in the context of your own blog; mainly it reminded me of some of the members of the consortium. The research referred to how the ageing brain can keep its sparkle most efficiently: To be confronted with thoughts different to ours. Anything contrary to that which comforts us by reinforcing our own opinions – taking us out of our comfort zone.

      As to your fantasies: That’s where “truth” lies.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 15, 2010 @ 05:01 | Reply

  3. No doubt there is truth and there is delusion. But I have found that everyone has his or her own version of the truth. Is my truth really my delusion? And how would I know

    Comment by gaelikaa — April 15, 2010 @ 10:15 | Reply

    • “Is my truth really my delusion?” Now this is the truth. We have a philosopher here.

      Comment by bikehikebabe — April 15, 2010 @ 14:37 | Reply

    • Yes, indeed, gaelikaa, where does ‘truth’ start and delusion end?

      Following your reasoning, and that of many minds greater than both of ours put together, truth can only ever be subjective. Even scientists who largely deal in facts and their carefully recorded findings will concede that their “truths”, ie interpretation of their results, are bendable. When dealing in language and its use (lawyers, journalists, headline writers, politicians know this better than most) a fine nuance can swing a notion in the eyes of unsuspecting readers/listeners.

      It’s an excellent observation of yours. How do any of us “know”? Don’t ask me. I haven’t got a clue. Sometimes I think all of us are prisoners of our mindsets, bouncing around in the more or less padded cells of our lives. For all I know I might be restricted in a strait jacket whilst thinking myself as free as a bird in the sky. When in ‘truth’ I am probably just one of those disks thrown into the air for a spot of clay pidgeon shooting.

      Don’t say I don’t bring the mood down.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — April 15, 2010 @ 14:51 | Reply

  4. It basically all depends on where we are ‘at’, wherever that is!

    Comment by gaelikaa — April 16, 2010 @ 06:44 | Reply

  5. Ursula,
    It sounds as if Emerson would make you want to barf?

    Do not waste yourself in rejection, nor bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.

    – Ralph Waldo Emerson

    Somehow I can’t quote picture you chanting “the beauty of the good.” 🙂

    Comment by Cheerful Monk — April 16, 2010 @ 21:16 | Reply

    • Cheerful Monk, you are sounding negative here, which is so unlike you. Today is income tax final day & that could make anyone in a mood..

      Comment by bikehikebabe — April 16, 2010 @ 21:28 | Reply

      • Actually I’m not going to chant “the beauty of the good” either. That would make me barf. (Jean too) And we will bark all we want against the bad! We aren’t going to be “gushing morons”.

        Comment by bikehikebabe — April 16, 2010 @ 22:01 | Reply

    • Jean, thanks for bringing ‘barf’ to my attention. Had to look it up. I am not given to vomiting (other than figuratively), not even when I was pregnant – in fact, never felt better than then.

      I am not sure what Emerson means by wasting oneself in rejection. But yes, I do bark against the bad. And sometimes I stop barking and bite instead.

      You, Jean, can’t picture me chanting. And you are right. I do not chant. However, I do appreciate both ‘beauty’ and ‘good’.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 20, 2010 @ 03:48 | Reply

      • Jean was making an observation, not a judgement. She doesn’t do that. Honest. I called her on that one since I’m a “gushing moron” (everything to everybody) & she told me she’d barf too at Emerson. (Barf must be an American expression, along with puke, hurl etc.)

        Comment by bikehikebabe — April 20, 2010 @ 13:58 | Reply

  6. This post reminded me of a proverb about truth warriors:

    “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you will be like him yourself. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.” – Proverbs 26:4-5

    Is the truth warrior doomed?

    Comment by Looney — April 20, 2010 @ 00:21 | Reply

    • Looney, I have been pondering on your quote. Despite its seeming simplicity it’s quite a mind bender.

      We are familiar with how a dictionary defines ‘fool’ and ‘foolishness’. Yet, it’s those of us who deem themselves NOT foolish who decide what constitutes either. Say, when Icarus took to the sky: Was he ‘foolish’ or a pioneer, even a hero, the father of Concorde?

      “Is the truth warrior doomed?” I sincerely hope not.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — April 20, 2010 @ 03:48 | Reply


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