Bitch on the Blog

June 8, 2010


Filed under: Communication,Despair — bitchontheblog @ 13:16
Tags: , , ,

Being currently preoccupied with weighty issues and therefore losing track of time I often nip over to Grannymar’s blog to tell me what day of the week it is. She is as regular as clockwork and can be relied upon – when there is a recipe I know it’s Monday, Wednesday (needlework) , Thursday (joke) and Friday when, in the morning, she rather sweetly reminds the consortium to assemble at three. Without wishing to offend gaelikaa’s sense of ‘decorum’  (a subject to be addressed in detail any time soon) I promise I am NOT taking the piss here. For some reason (no doubt Karma – groan) I seem to attract perfectionists into my life. No more so than father of my son who lives his life by the law of Murphy: “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong – and then some.” So he is always prepared and therefore very little ever does go wrong when he is involved in something – oh, the irony of it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why did I let him go? Others, like BHB, are more like one of my beloved weeds: Roaming freely and blowing with the wind. Which brings me, not so neatly, back to GM’s own garden – and yes, today is Tuesday.

Nearly lost my thread there with long winded intro: Grannymar wants to know what sort of garden you are. Although she is a summer meadow by her own assessment she only gives you two choices which is a little limiting. What about being a Sissinghurst (completely white – Reference: Virginia Woolf’s sister) or clipped or French or my own garden (currently a mess with potential). My point, and don’t take this lightly: Are we the best judges of ourselves? I don’t know. I have been assessed by others in ways which surprised me (whether positively or negatively).

In which context, and it is the one severe criticism I have of many blogs: There is too much self preening, too much ‘look at how wonderful I am’ out in the blogosphere. The worst offenders usually those who put themselves down first by saying in their banner: ‘Just another blog’ (the best one of those is Nick quoting Spike Milligan – no offence, Nick: Your blog is interesting  and – I imagine – labour intensive).  However, I do despair with people apologizing for their existence before you have even read their first post, never mind having enjoyed their gardens.




  1. “However, I do despair with people apologizing for their existence before you have even read their first post, never mind having enjoyed their gardens.”

    I was taught to despair about my existence while growing up in the public schools. In this matter, however, I am hardly unique as president Obama’s primary mandate is to apologize for the existence of America and Americans. We teach Asian immigrants to despair over having been slave holders in the South 160 years ago, while Al Gore has me despairing over the carbon footprint of this comment. The churches teach me to despair that I wasn’t born in Haiti, while other people in my life try to get me to despair for not owning a new BMW. But perhaps you are right that the counter cultural thing to do is not start with some false humility …

    As for gardens, I will pick this.

    Comment by Looney — June 8, 2010 @ 14:27 | Reply

    • Careful, Looney: There is danger of my falling in love with you on strength of your comments alone.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 8, 2010 @ 15:15 | Reply

    • May I be the wreck in your underwater garden then?

      Comment by magpie11 — June 8, 2010 @ 17:18 | Reply

      • Something dead, but providing a habitat for others? I guess that is as good a role as any!

        Comment by Looney — June 8, 2010 @ 17:22 | Reply

  2. “ARE WE THE BEST JUDGES OF OURSELVES?” No, we either glorify or put down ourselves, depending on whether we are self-rigthous, or masochists.

    I asked Lydia, being a psychologist to analyze me so I could improve. She said it wouldn’t work. She’s too close (involved) with me, being my daughter.

    Comment by bikehikebabe — June 8, 2010 @ 14:57 | Reply

    • Bike Hike Babe, one can always go down my and one of my sisters’ road. She is a great person – yet in rather tiresome constant need of being reassured that she is the best. No problem: I put myself down in order to make her feel better (which incidentally infuriates my youngest sister).

      In normal human intercourse I hate FALSE modesty. Two points: Firstly, there is danger that I myself may start seeing that person through their own eyes. Secondly, warts and all we should stand proudly by who we are – even if (in my case) that means weeping, every so often, into the already wet handkerchief of my existence.

      Being analyzed by your daughter? As Lydia says it would never work. Even during casual conversations I try to tread carefully with my mother when interpreting her and her past experiences – and I am the most outspoken of her four children and she is a tough nut who has taken the card life dealt her in amazing stride.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 8, 2010 @ 15:52 | Reply

  3. Well, I expect it’s all to do with upbringing…constantly put down by both of my parents and my teachers I never reckoned much to myself and always thought people who said anything to me that was in anyway a compliment wanted something. #Now I’m retired and I don’t give a cuss I find that peole still pay me compliments even when I don’t have Anthony to offer in return. Like my ex pupils and colleagues. the latter ask me to go back and help them out and I almost as often refuse.

    I am not such a bad fellow after all. On top I do know my faults and am beginning to think…who gives a tuppeny damn anyway? That is, of course, on a good day!

    I’m glad I have found someone else who uses a handkerchief instead of the ubiquitous tissue. I habitually carry two, one for me and one for anyone else who might need one. I understand the wet handkerchief reference… no shame in being upset for oneself at all.

    Looney mentioned apologising for America and the Americans…. there are many in the world who would say that someone must do it. However, if he is doing it then he’s years and years behind we in Britain, particularly the English.

    We are expected to apologise for having an Empire, for having used Slaves (as if no-one else had ever used them). We have to apologise for helping the French out at least twice and for allowing the Americans to, supposedly, help us. Oh and lately we have to apologise to the Arabs for foisting Israel upon them. According to the real left wingers in this country we are even guilty of allowing te cat to have Kittens. Then there are the welsh, Scots and Irish who blame us for all their ills and the Cornish some of whom would like to.

    Oh yes, don’t forget that we did all that at the instigation of the Freemasons and the Jews.

    It’s sickening when so many members of a nation decide that they have to apologise for the misdeeds of their ancestors. I hope that the younger people of Germany do not feel that they have to apologise for the aberrations that were Hitler and (to a lesser extent) the last Kaiser or that the younger Spaniards do not feel compelled to apologise for Franco, or in future Zimbabweans do not feel compelled to apologise for Mugabe…and so on….

    Oh dear..I have let rip.

    Comment by magpie11 — June 8, 2010 @ 17:41 | Reply

    • Since my mother’s family is from England and I have blond hair, I would like to formally apologize on behalf of the Saxons for our brutality, violence and homicidal behavior. It really was inexcusable.

      Comment by Looney — June 8, 2010 @ 17:56 | Reply

      • And I apologize to England for disliking their boiled food when I was there. (When in Rome, like what the Romans like.)

        Comment by bikehikebabe — June 8, 2010 @ 18:18 | Reply

  4. Hurray for preening!

    Comment by Cheerful Monk — June 8, 2010 @ 20:41 | Reply

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