Bitch on the Blog

December 28, 2010

28 Dec

Filed under: Culture,Despair,Fashion,Psychology — bitchontheblog @ 04:55

If you don’t like a spot of feeling VERY sorry for myself go away now.

Am not afflicted like Ramana. Don’t have a double chin to conveniently disguise in oversized collar. However, at 0410 I find myself curled up in foetal position. gaelikaa may save her breath: I am not a case for the Samaritans. I am ready to be carted off to the looney bin. No not yours, Looney. Even if you did find me there I wouldn’t take up much space. Take note, gaelikaa, losing weight as you desire is, when getting older, not all it’s cracked up to be. Shows in your face – of all places. Wish they’d bring veils back into fashion.

Am a wreck. Which is befitting since I live round the corner of the Titanic’s shipping office. I am in so much pain I not only could cry, I do cry. That comes from refusing to subsidize profit of Bayer and Pfitzer. Am now convinced that I will lose my left arm by amputation. Had accident 6 Nov. Let’s leave aside that I have lost two months; K-wires were drawn two weeks ago; new plaster cast applied. That cast is so tight it drives me up the wall.

Have warned Son that I’ll be rubbish at getting older. How BHB copes with three hip replacements is beyond me. My supply of patience would dwindle faster than you can say: “Move”. On the other hand I might be reincarnated as one of Conrad’s dung beetles. Gender as yet undecided.

Where was I? Worrying about Magpie who appears to be hibernating. Did you know, Jean, that there is a charity for hedgehogs? The BBC being such  hive of information I learnt this two days go off their website. Am fond of hedgehogs: Prickly on top, soft underbelly, full of fleas.

Added anxiety: Hope I am not repeating myself.

Once I am out of current shithole will devise and patent the FIVE finger blind typing system. Just don’t expect speed.

Also have cough worthy of a Swiss sanatorium catering for tuberculose poets (say, Rilke). Luckily, with son being away for a couple of days, I can cough to my lungs’ desire without immediately being asked to limp to doctor’s surgery.

You haven’t even heard¬† third of that which bugs me this minute. So don’t say there is no good side to being one handed.

Miffed yours

U

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