Bitch on the Blog

December 28, 2010

28 Dec

Filed under: Culture,Despair,Fashion,Psychology — bitchontheblog @ 04:55

If you don’t like a spot of feeling VERY sorry for myself go away now.

Am not afflicted like Ramana. Don’t have a double chin to conveniently disguise in oversized collar. However, at 0410 I find myself curled up in foetal position. gaelikaa may save her breath: I am not a case for the Samaritans. I am ready to be carted off to the looney bin. No not yours, Looney. Even if you did find me there I wouldn’t take up much space. Take note, gaelikaa, losing weight as you desire is, when getting older, not all it’s cracked up to be. Shows in your face – of all places. Wish they’d bring veils back into fashion.

Am a wreck. Which is befitting since I live round the corner of the Titanic’s shipping office. I am in so much pain I not only could cry, I do cry. That comes from refusing to subsidize profit of Bayer and Pfitzer. Am now convinced that I will lose my left arm by amputation. Had accident 6 Nov. Let’s leave aside that I have lost two months; K-wires were drawn two weeks ago; new plaster cast applied. That cast is so tight it drives me up the wall.

Have warned Son that I’ll be rubbish at getting older. How BHB copes with three hip replacements is beyond me. My supply of patience would dwindle faster than you can say: “Move”. On the other hand I might be reincarnated as one of Conrad’s dung beetles. Gender as yet undecided.

Where was I? Worrying about Magpie who appears to be hibernating. Did you know, Jean, that there is a charity for hedgehogs? The BBC being such  hive of information I learnt this two days go off their website. Am fond of hedgehogs: Prickly on top, soft underbelly, full of fleas.

Added anxiety: Hope I am not repeating myself.

Once I am out of current shithole will devise and patent the FIVE finger blind typing system. Just don’t expect speed.

Also have cough worthy of a Swiss sanatorium catering for tuberculose poets (say, Rilke). Luckily, with son being away for a couple of days, I can cough to my lungs’ desire without immediately being asked to limp to doctor’s surgery.

You haven’t even heard  third of that which bugs me this minute. So don’t say there is no good side to being one handed.

Miffed yours




  1. OK here goes. My hands are bright red & itch like crazy when warm, i.e under the covers, so if i stay up all night I’ll survive. I eat a lot of walnuts, raw almonds, peanuts. Cut them out. It’s not those. I think it’s the Crapplesauce (cranberries & apple in the blender). If it is I’ll be cured ’cause I won’t make that, but still I have tonight to get through.

    As for a cough, one time I was training for the week Cyclone bicycle tour when I should have been in bed with my cold. I waited in the doc’s office for 4 hours because no appointment. Doc lives 2 doors away from me. Probably didn’t know I was out there waiting. He said I had walking pneumonia. I lay in bed for the week with a CONTINUOUS cough while Tom went on the week ride.

    I keep telling Tom there is something wrong with me. I feel drunk without the euphoria. It’s not exactly dizzy. BTW I say TOM ’til I get his attention. He said, “I hate that word.” Hahaha I told that to Snakelady twice & she didn’t laugh either time. No sense of humoUr. She & husband came to eat the turkey dinner which we had to cook today even tho’ it’s for tomorrow for Kendall & family just back from 6 months in France, Melanie not standing the smell of turkey roasting. She’s been a vegetarian for 40 years.

    I’ve gotten away from telling you about my misery. Today was a complete bust. I got NOTHING done. That makes me feel bad. Marty says she feels bad if she didn’t have fun.

    Jan, my bicycle leader broke her ankle in 3 places 2 months ago. (Snakelady [keeps 70 snakes in her house] is Jan too but Jan name is already taken.) Jan in the hospital said she was dying & I believed her. Shed a few tears. But now she is up walking without a cane. She’s 86. So based on that I don’t think you’ll need your arm amputated.

    Comment by bikehikebabe — December 28, 2010 @ 05:37 | Reply

  2. Ursula,
    Good luck! Would you mind sharing how you did your arm in?

    Thanks to you I now know what a K-wire is. I will do my best not to get my own first-hand knowledge. At the moment most of my body parts seem to be working all right…partially because I’ve redefined “all right”?

    Reminds me of the doctor who told his patient, “The bad news is your new condition is incurable. The good news is you’ll get used to it.”

    Comment by Cheerful Monk — December 28, 2010 @ 06:07 | Reply

  3. I do hope things start going better for you. Yes, the Loons are praying for you!

    Comment by Looney — December 28, 2010 @ 14:18 | Reply

  4. Here is a healing wish for the New Year.

    I wonder if dung beetles ever send “Get Well” notes …

    Comment by Conrad — December 28, 2010 @ 18:04 | Reply

  5. There I was worrying about you….. and you’re concerned that I might be hibernating…I’m currently mired in discussions with anti Semites who like to hide their anti Semitism beneath the cloak of politically “correct” anti Zionism. other wise I just don’t feel inspired to write a lot.

    Managed to pull some thing in my back whilst washing the other morning but I know how to ease that. The blood pressure, if rigged up somehow would power a goodly fountain and they have brought my cardioversion forward to Friday, New year’s Eve and my younger sister’s 50th Birthday. That’s all right because she hasn’t invited any of us older family members to her party.
    I’m getting quite blasé about giving blood samples these days. I used to keel over. Now I give the phlebotomists trouble joking about their legalised vampire status. We actually get on well.

    Now about this arm…what did you do? I have asked several times how you are and have concluded that no news is at the least, not too bad news.

    I have just given myself a bit of a wobbly feeling in my tummy as I decided to read about Herr Kirschner’s 1909 invention. Brrugh!
    I cannot do anyhting about the pain for you… not from here… Lady Magpie did suggest that I should come down to see you when I told her I was concerned…that might just be too much for you though.

    Loons! Wonderful birds. There is /a blog post in that but I’ll go on here…On eof the pioneers of wildlife recording was Ludwig Koch
    I remeber his voice and recordings from Nature programmes on school s radio in the 1950s. The one that seared itself onto my memory was the Great Northern Diver (Gavia immer)… I resolved that one day I would see and hear that bird for myself. The opportunity cme when , in the midst of huge depression) I spent a Month with my friend Bill and his family in Fort Smith, NWT Canada. We took a trip or six to a lake out there in the wild and eventually I heard the voice of the Loon. On one occasion there was a woman out there trying to call to them. I decided to have a go (using my cupped hands) It worked! She thought that I was the Loon which was amusing,but was staggered when the birds “replied” to my calls. I repeated the exercise a few time after that. Magical.


    Comment by Magpie 11 — December 29, 2010 @ 22:45 | Reply

  6. I’m trying to do a Loon call using the video I got from your link. Nada!
    Looney should learn to do that call.

    Comment by bikehikebabe — December 29, 2010 @ 23:44 | Reply

  7. Looks like you are an expert in this field, you got some great points there, but you’ll want to add a facebook button to your blog. I just bookmarked this article, although I had to complete it manually. Simply my $.02 🙂

    – Daniel

    Comment by reisen mallorca — January 5, 2011 @ 23:12 | Reply

  8. Good blog! I actually love how it is easy on my eyes as well as the details are well composed. I am wondering how I could be notified whenever a new post has been made. I have subscribed to your rss feed which really should work! Have a nice day!

    Comment by Bruna Dearth — January 8, 2011 @ 09:23 | Reply

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