Bitch on the Blog

January 27, 2011

Pass me the morphine

Filed under: Despair — bitchontheblog @ 01:29

I have said it the other day, and I say it again: My left wrist and I are in so much PAIN. Don’t know what do with myself.

I cannot accept, and refuse, that my life has come to this. Half a century I go happy and lucky. Then, and all of a sudden, all the breakages. If life wants to teach me something can life please find a different mode to do so.

Old hat now, Jean, and you might have read his books: Thorwald Dethlefsen. Am not convinced. What is so awful, and he has nothing to say on that score that I do not UNDERSTAND pain. Come to think of it I’d be a terrible doctor. My very good friend, Annette, decades ago, is very good at maths and I only played her at chess ONCE – I won, beginner’s luck –  which is why I never played her again. Annette went on to became a pathologist. During my recent Madame De Clutteur venture I came across a letter she wrote to me –  35 years ago. Something along the lines that I, Ursula, always need to get to the bottom of everything coming my way. Even if it means destroying myself. So very perceptive. I am falling ok. Will I ever get to bottoms of all the barrels I’d like to scrape? Doubt it. Not enough time.

The pain, the pain,

U

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5 Comments »

  1. Again, sorry about the pain. That’s something modern medicine still doesn’t know how to treat.

    About the breakages—is there any chance you have osteoporosis? I didn’t start falling apart until I was 60, but so far the bouts of extreme pain were temporary and I have ways of dealing with the other losses. I hope your pain won’t be lifelong.

    Never heard of Thorwald Dethlefsen, but I do have some hypnosis and other tapes about dealing with pain. I’m a Six in the Enneagram and having contingency plans is one of my ways to keep from worrying. The main method is keeping my mind focused on more interesting things. Do you know anything about the Ennegram?

    Comment by Cheerful Monk — January 27, 2011 @ 02:14 | Reply

    • No, I don’tknow about the Ennegram. But it can only be a question of very little time till I do.

      Yes, Osteoporosis. Don’t think so. Doesn’t run in family. Who knows, Jean. If it is I shall be gutted. Gutted, Gutted. To my utter chagrin paranoia already has set in. Can’t leave the house – don’t even wear heals any longer – without anticipation. It is ridiculous. So unlike me. I don’t know, Jean. Worse things have befallen me so, no doubt, I’ll snap out of this. But, as a I said in one of my recent posts/comments/replies – can’t remember – I will never ever ever AGAIN be dismissive of anyone’s pain. And, hardly a surprise to you, I do dismiss. Big time. So improvement there.

      Ursula

      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 27, 2011 @ 02:56 | Reply

      • Yes, we have to be adaptable as we get older. Being creative and having a sense of humor helps a lot.

        Comment by Cheerful Monk — January 27, 2011 @ 05:26 | Reply

  2. I never heard of Osteoporosis of the wrist! It gives you a humped back.

    Comment by bikehikebabe — January 27, 2011 @ 15:38 | Reply

    • Trust you, BHB: Only my mother could have come out with same comforting statement as you just have. How do the two of you do it?

      Now I see my future as the hunchback of Southampton.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 27, 2011 @ 16:18 | Reply


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