Bitch on the Blog

April 8, 2011

Pickled today, jammed tomorrow

Filed under: Happiness,Human condition — bitchontheblog @ 15:03
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

In the wake of the ever searching questions of Jean and Ramana, recently respectively about optimism/regrets/risks, I will ask you and please don’t cry:

You are just about to bite into your lovingly buttered piece of toast when you lose grip: What do you expect? Think about it: What do you expect in your heart of hearts at that nano second when gravity once more gets the better of you?

Being superior to virtually anyone I know: I do NOT expect anything since chance 50 50 whether it’ll fall onto its face or not. If inedible afterwards I just shrug my shoulders; if landing buttered side UP (unlikely) I am pleasantly surprised. One moment that piece of toast was just nourishment the next it becomes today’s luck indicator. Of course, there are people like my son: He will not touch anything once it’s fallen onto the ground, whichever side, since in his considered opinion it’ll be contaminated one way or another. Which is true. In moments like that I refrain from reminding him of people who have to rummage through others’ garbage to keep themselves alive. He’d probably rather die.

Which way to take my strand of thought: Principles? Pickiness? Regret? Let’s stick with risk and keep it simple:  As in Tunesian tummy. That’s when you go to a restaurant and like a fool, yours truly, order Steak Tartare.  In a hot Southern Mediterranean country ca 1983. FOS warned me. We went on to casino after the meal. I had heady winning streak – Beginner’s luck. Then I started feeling dizzy. Very. Never count your Casino chips before your stomach is half way through digesting your last meal. I got acquainted with our hotel room’s toilet for more than 8 hours. We bonded – both ways, mainly up. I was delirious. Luckily the hotel was starry, so not as disgusting an experience as your average ca 1978’s cheap students’ place in Piraeus harbour (that’s Athens, Greece) before setting off across the Aegean Sea. Odysseus had worse problems. Mine was that on the ferry I bumped into a guy with even bluer eyes than my boyfriend’s. We gazed at each other (my eyes are brown) and left it at that. No regrets there – I might have got myself with son who eats EVERYTHING off floor.

This post shows you: One moment you contemplate the world, next you do a spot of navel gazing.

Hugs and kisses from, as styled by Con, the loose cannon,




  1. VERY GOOD & ENTERTAINING POST. But I keep remembering Jean’s question, even though I have terrible short term memory. After you have attacked Con, for instance, do you feel attacked or put down by his response?

    Comment by bikehikebabe — April 8, 2011 @ 15:43 | Reply

    • What do you mean “attack” Con? I tease the man. Big time. Not always but mostly lost on him. The more he reprimands me the more I toy. Remember the groups mantra? All in GOOD HUMOUR! HA. LOL. Smiley standing on its head. Wriggling.

      I will answer Jean’s question. Unfortunately, it made it onto my to do list which is not the destiny a task is hoping for. Just need to do a couple of things. Then will put my mind to it. If I can remember which post to search for original question. One thing I can tell you now – yes, I sometimes feel attacked – unnecessarily. Put down? No. No one puts me down.

      Glad you liked my diversion by post. Which reminds me: Thank you so very much for this morning’s bear spectacle in that park, forgotten its name now. It was brilliant. So amusing with gaelikaa recently commenting when I took you and Jean on our imaginary fishing outing: She asked whether there were any bears close by. Well, gaelikaa, there was a ‘little bear’ right IN the tent (Ursula, latin, little bear – her parents being Papa Ursus and Mama Ursa).

      Back in a tick.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 8, 2011 @ 17:12 | Reply

    • If you say you despise someone (GM & Ramana), is this an opinion or an attack? Ramana reads your blog even so, but is too “chicken” to comment. ( He says he doesn’t comment so as not to get involved with controversy.) GM avoids your posts. Does she attack you on other posts? I hadn’t seen that.

      Comment by bikehikebabe — April 8, 2011 @ 21:47 | Reply

      • BHB, you might say it’s semantics: When I state that I despise someone it is not an “opinion”. It is a ‘judgement’ made on the basis of how I – no one else – interpret something. However, and so tender the ego, that as soon as you mutter anything with a negative connotation it becomes an ATTACK.

        Let’s take both cases:

        When I said that I despise Ramana, if my memory serves me right, it was in a specific context on a specific subject. His comment was misjudged; happens to all of us. I said my piece (as did gaelikaa). End of story. If I despised Ramana, the man, wholesale, I’d obviously not keep in contact with him. But I do. I believe there is a misconception in the mind of many: We can severely criticize someone – based on our OWN views, and I can’t stress OWN enough – yet that criticism having little impact on a relationship as a whole.

        With Grannymar it’s complicated. I have come to think of her as spineless. Now THAT, you might say, is not a ONE OFF but a character assessment (assessment – NOT assassination). As judgements go it is indeed damning. But again: It’s ME who is making that assessment on the basis of how I interpret her way of communicating. Grannymar no doubt a phantastic person in other ways. But – as far as I am concerned – she is spineless. She is the type of person I’d never rely on when stranded on a desert island or in a crisis. I’d definitely watch my back. How much more damning than that can you get? If someone said that of me, and no one who knows me will, I’d go away and cry. Does what I just said constitute an attack? I don’t know. To me it’s a fact.

        I will show you what attack is (historically) once I get my act together. And then we’ll draw a curtain because the whole saga is becoming rather boring and tedious. However, how does the psycho babble go: We need closure. So I will put it all down how I see it and everyone (including GM) will have a chance to say how they see it. And then we shake hands: Neither limply nor with a bone crusher.


        Comment by bitchontheblog — April 9, 2011 @ 04:26 | Reply

        • Not to nitpick 🙂 but to say Ramana is someone to be despised is a judgement. To say you despise him is an opinion. This is not good. Ramana is the dearest, sweetest man alive.

          Comment by bikehikebabe — April 9, 2011 @ 04:53 | Reply

          • You are nitpicking, BHB. Neither do you seem to understand what I am saying. Even “the dearest sweetest man alive” (which, by the way, he isn’t – neither should he be, awful position to find yourself in) is not above criticism. Ramana understands that intuitively, otherwise he’d long blocked me from his blog.

            Let’s start from the beginning, and to some extent I am really hoping for corroboration from someone who knows a little about the background: He said something on one of his blog entries I found distasteful and objectionable (as, and I repeat, did gaelikaa). And that was that. You don’t nail someone to the cross on ONE point of disapproval. AND I DIDN’T. I like Ramana. And, repeat, none of us are beyond criticism. I don’t know where I have gone wrong with some of you. But wrong I have gone. I will try and explain as best I can. But soon this rumble has got to stop.


            Comment by bitchontheblog — April 9, 2011 @ 12:59 | Reply

  2. But you have your own canon……. and as for loose…I think not…. pauses for thoughts…..

    Buttered toast, by its very nature, can rarely elicit the comment, often heard when some comestible was dropped upon the floor, “Well, it’s probably gained more than it’s lost.” followed by delighted mastication.

    Having said that…it may well gain from a brief sojourn upon the floor if it lands buttered side down and the butter has not been absorbed due to the heat of the toast. If it has received a covering of home made Seville Orange Marmalade then loss will probably ensue.

    In the case of dry toast then the result, gain or loss, will depend solely upon the type of bread used to make the toast. Packaged sliced white bread will, in my experience never lose anything to the floor and will rarely gain anything from the same floor.

    It must be understood that none of these observations constitute scientific observation.

    Eyes….Blue eyes have always filled me with a sense of discomfort. There is a certain pale shade of grey eyes that is even worse. A coldness seems to lurk behind blue eyes…. However, I remember seeing a colleague with darker blue eyes that were blood-shot from an over indulgent evening, “You are looking very patriotic,” I observed. I was met with blank stares all round!

    Brown eyes I love, from hazel to almost Black!

    Comment by Magpie 11 — April 8, 2011 @ 16:51 | Reply

    • Magpie, you are clearly not my son. Once on the floor you are toast and only destined for the bin.

      As to blue eyes: They come in many many shades. Apart from the ‘cold fish’ shade quite mesmerizing. Take Paul Newman and my son for starters. Brown much more unsettling since apparently having uncanny way of FLASHING with anger, on the positive truly LIGTHENING up when delighted. Or so I have been told. As says my mother of my father.

      Whenever I don’t remember someone’s eye colour and please, please, please whoever reads this don’t take this the wrong way, they are green. Green goes into an amazing spectrum between almost brown and almost muddy pond and everything in between. All I can say is that I am glad I do not have green eyes.

      You know something, Magpie? Say, you had greenish eyes – you [Magpie] wuld never bat an eyelid as to what I’ve just said. Yet, I could name at least three people who’d now come down on me like a ton of bricks as being vile and greenist.

      As to flagging patriotic colours in your eyes after a heavy night: Let’s hope you are not batting for the Italian team.


      PS A friend of mine used to wear tinted (blue) contact lenses. Never found out why or, indeed, what her true colours were. Maybe white.

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 8, 2011 @ 17:28 | Reply

      • Between us: I had a dear friend, now too long dead who had amazing blue eyes (you see? The exception that proves the rule.).
        Elaine’s eyes would change colour according to her emotional health…when healthily happy they were a very deep blue but when suffering they were so light as to be almost grey. There were shades in between but imagine my surprise when I visited her and her eyes were deep violet, almost purple. Contact lenses. There is more to the story than
        this….wearing these lenses she was “over the moon” because for the first time ever she had found that reading was comfortable. Elaine was severely Dyslexic and I had previously tested her with coloured overlays and had found that her vision of print was helped by a deep purple overlay.

        Thinking of other people I knew with blue/grey eyes I think I know why they are not that attractive to me… the pupils are too easily seen!

        As for my eyes: a bit of a mixture I think…..indescribable!

        Comment by magpie11 — April 9, 2011 @ 16:26 | Reply

        • Oh Magpie, are we talking those you taught or eyes?

          Yes, pupils. Like body language. You cannot hide. Which is why blogging and commenting are such buggers. In future I shall, unlike some of the smiley brigade, insert dilated or very small pupils to convey my intentions – in case people can’t read.

          Mixture eyes are amazing. One of my nephews has two differently coloured eyes. Which is confusing when speaking to him – a bit like when you talk to someone cross eyed. You immediately feel stupid because maybe you are looking into the wrong eye – and they KNOW which one. One of the reasons one of my friends usually wears sunglasses, even indoors, thus avoiding many a social awkwardness.


          Comment by bitchontheblog — April 9, 2011 @ 17:22 | Reply

          • I was definitely talking Eyes……


            A colleague once made the mistake of telling her class of 11 year old pupils…err students..about the theory that if you see someone you like your pupils dilate. A pair of precocious girls decided to go round the staff, both genders, peering into their faces and saying, “Oh, I can see that you like me.”

            Comment by Magpie 11 — April 9, 2011 @ 19:13 | Reply

          • I used to have a terrible squint until it was corrected at age six…. as for eyes of different colours, in all my years as a teacher I only veer taught one pupil who had different coloured eyes.

            Comment by Magpie 11 — April 9, 2011 @ 19:16 | Reply

          • Looking at person who has two different colored eyes.—-“You immediately feel stupid because maybe you are looking into the wrong eye – and they KNOW which one.” This is the funny, delightful Ursula.

            Comment by bikehikebabe — April 9, 2011 @ 19:53 | Reply

  3. This post reminds me of an incident on a medical TV program once. They were doing a liver transplant and one of the doctors dropped the organ on the floor. Everyone yelled, “Five-second rule! Five-second rule!” Doesn’t your son know that if you pick up the piece in less than five seconds it must be free of contamination?

    Comment by Cheerful Monk — April 8, 2011 @ 19:25 | Reply

    • Jean, he may or he may not. It is of no interest to him.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 8, 2011 @ 19:41 | Reply

      • That was joke, Ursula. 😀

        Comment by Cheerful Monk — April 9, 2011 @ 05:33 | Reply

        • Thank you, Jean. This is what has become of me, is it? Needing a joke explained to me? Looking forward to many a year in care of those to be pitied.


          Comment by bitchontheblog — April 9, 2011 @ 18:02 | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at

%d bloggers like this: