Bitch on the Blog

April 23, 2011

Blooming stats

Filed under: Family — bitchontheblog @ 22:08

I am in agony. Whilst Saturday night’s world (my windows open) is partying away down the street spending the Gross Product of some god forsaken country in one night I have come to terrible conclusion: I do NOT spend enough attention to detail – other than when in editor mode when I will take everyone apart, even those who do not deserve it (say, gaelikaa).

Detail. Devil in. Awful. Just learnt that I am a boomer. Baby. Have no idea where that generation starts or ends (see above neglect of detail. Also too lazy to google). Most of you will be past it (other than gaelikaa who is probably trailing the tail end of being a baby boomer). The bad news is that, statistically, baby boomers only amount to bearing 1.2 children. A shocker if ever there was one. Author being American I can only assume he is talking home turf. Though in fairness to him a couple of decades ago Germany had the LOWEST birth rate in the WORLD, closely followed by Italy. If you make sense of the latter please do seek an audience with the Pope.

Do your own families’ statistics. If you need help I’ve got calculator at the ready. I do not know how to break this to my siblings. Since they are currently not on talking terms with me I won’t have to: My parents have four children who between them made them grandparents 11 times over. Eldest (that’s me) providing quality over quantity (Dearest nephews and nieces: Only joking): The ONE and only. Sister who from the age of twelve always wanted big family, neither did her imaginary birth control work – she justifies every single one of her children (even the ones conceived despite the pill, spiral inserted, anorexia, you name it – proof of mind over matter): FIVE.

Brother (David Beckham lookalike) and my dear sweet impish sister-in-law exercising some self control: TWO. Youngest sister, against all expectations: FOUR. She is supposed to be impractical, yet keeps massive household, husband, house, horse and her dayjob (teacher) under control. Hats off to her.

So that makes: No not eleven it’s 12. Unless I’ve lost count. Football team or something. For years I’ve always been under impression that we had a baker’s dozen (13) between us. That means that 12 divided by four (count me out, I don’t want to know) my parents’ children – on average – contributed 3 point zero kids per shot  to the world’s population. Will raise this at next family meeting.




  1. Those of us who were born post WWII between 1946 and about 1964 according to the “experts”:
    That includes ma and both my sisters! We are of course talking about the USA and UK!

    ‘Twas a time of innocence in which to grow.
    A time of looking forward and inflating confidence in humankind’s ability.
    But look at us now and the future we will leave behind us.
    A time of doubt and future horrors.

    Comment by Magpie 11 — April 24, 2011 @ 14:55 | Reply

    • Thanks for that, Magpie. I was born right bang in the middle – my beloved 1955. And on my last birthday 2010 I turned 55. I love that number. Though the actual day – so much anticipated for virtually all my life – turned out to be one of my two terrible birthdays ever.

      Reminded me of that saing “that which doesn’t break us makes us stronger”. I don’t know about that: I sat on a wall in an empty car park, sighed and cried, just a little. Still, as reflecting on my life goes, it was quite satisfying to come to some dire conclusions about myself.

      Happy Easter Monday, David, may the egg be boiled to your satisfaction,

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 25, 2011 @ 05:43 | Reply

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