Bitch on the Blog

June 4, 2011

Running on starch (Reference GM and her ingenious potato wind generator)

Filed under: Despair — bitchontheblog @ 19:45

Dearest sweetest Hearts, I am currently, this minute, on my own, no ear to bend on the phone – so you will have to bear the brunt of my disenchantment with the banking world.

Do I live in Kafka Land? Am I his dung beetle (Georg Samsa)? No, I am not. Worse: I am me. Living with the fall out.

I could, but won’t, speak to bestest and lifelong friend whose shoulder available when the BIG shit hits the fan. Bird droppings he declines to entertain. He is my worst critic – in a good way: A few years ago he told me – with acid disdain – that I should stop sabotaging  myself. Me? Sabotaging myself? Well. If Lady Luck, make that Lord Muck, doesn’t want to play it’s hardly my fault, is it? Or maybe it is. Ask Con. Or my mother. The poor woman despairs with herself ever having let me see the light of day. My one saving grace being her grandson, the Angel. Tragic.

Where was I? Gone food shopping. Didn’t have enough cash on me; transaction on my card refused. Reason for which “on grounds of confidentiality” refused to be divulged to me. Great. I am the card holder. How much more confidential can it get? Remember it’s Saturday afternoon. Banks closed. So went all the way back home. Logged onto internet banking to find out what the hell is going on. Do hold your breath: The one account with that bank (I hold four ) with ALL, if not a lot, of my money in it has been wiped. Non existent. No record. Nada. Never one to lose my nerve before hitting the wall I phone the bank.

I’ll spare you the pain of reliving all the hoops I had to jump through before talking to a LIVE person. All this naturally on a premium charge phone number. Never mind. I don’t count pennies. Which is part of the reason I am currently not exactly flush. Anyway the call centre person couldn’t help other than assure me that I appear to be a victim of FRAUD which is why the bank not only refuses me access to my funds but has taken the whole account out of the picture. Brill. Absolutely brill. It’s only two years ago that (same bank) I was defrauded of more than 2,000 Pounds Sterling never to see a penny of it again. I cannot afford this shit. In wake of repercussions of last year’s accident I have to count pennies. Which doesn’t waste much time since there are few [pennies]. So the operator puts me through to (fraud) department open till 8 pm on a Saturday. At 1925 they clearly had had it – as indeed I would – and put the answerphone on. Never mind: Services suspended till Monday the old adrenaline will keep me alive. Don’t worry: I will not starve. I’ve got enough potatoes and an egg in the house to make myself Roesti. Luckily son is away – so lack of meat element not making impact.

Can someone please pinch me.

U de Vile, Wiped out in Southampton, Cash poor, Time Rich


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