Bitch on the Blog

August 3, 2011

10 minutes later

Filed under: Communication — bitchontheblog @ 18:42

You want murder? Look no further. No not down some Devonshire village with Miss Marple in tow. Wasn’t murder so genteel  in those days? Grannymar with a clanger in the pantry being caught in flagrante by Ms U and her mousetrap. The Raj’s own Ramana making his excuses why one needs to take inventory (with GM) at 1 am. Well, Ramana, don’t worry. I understand. As we say in the motherland: “In der Not frisst der Teufel Fliegen.” Roughly translated as: “When supplies run short anything will do”. Yes, I know. I am the pinnacle of tact and discretion. I also just read most illuminating on human emotion which one should suppress at all times. No, not jealousy. You and GM are welcome to each other. Another emotion worse has got me in momentary grip,  so vile I am in denial and refute that I am part of the human race.

Make me a dungbeetle as long as you don’t stand on me; ask me to keep Looney’s barnacle company, let me get caught red handed stealing treasure with Magpie; I’ll even get on my bike with BHB, make it work not just for Jean but everyone else, but do not ask me to hurt a fly. I won’t.

Back to the screenplay. Let’s leave aside why some people have irrational fears of, say, spiders, moths or bulldogs. If there is one thing I  fear it’s another human being. A boa constrictor, unless hungry, will leave well alone, won’t it? Yes. Enter the superior human. And we don’t even eat each other, except say when on the high seas with Moby Dick and little choice. By the way, have you noticed, that those stranded on high waters usually eat the thin ones first? What sort of logic is that? Surely the fattest pig is the one first for the chop.

Anyway, have completely lost  my thread. Well, BHB, that’s stream of consciousness for you. Heaving a sigh of relief.




  1. Long pig!

    Apparent;y that is what at least one group of new Guinea natives who were cannibalistic used to call hooman flesh! Another name was Lamb Armistan

    You know, the Scarabaeinae do perform a wonderful service but such hard work rolling those balls of B… S… and then burying them and depositing you eggs. Perhaps you should become a sacred amulet in the form of such a creature…. to be discovered by a magpie and be whi…… excuse me a moment.

    Comment by magpie11 — August 3, 2011 @ 22:19 | Reply

  2. I’ve just had a thought…If you became a dung beetle perhaps you could be an Internet Dung Beetle and start clearing up all the cr.. out there!

    Now there’s a thought!

    Comment by magpie11 — August 3, 2011 @ 22:21 | Reply

  3. The murder is supposed to take place in Dartmoor and be accomplished by a fluorescent hound on a dark night. It should give Holmes and Watson a pause as they try to sort everything out.

    Comment by Looney — August 7, 2011 @ 00:27 | Reply

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