Bitch on the Blog

March 8, 2012

Going to the dogs

Filed under: language — bitchontheblog @ 07:03
Tags: , ,

I just had startling thought. And I am not easily startled.

“Son of a bitch”. Why does no one ever insult a woman with: “Daughter of a bitch”?

I dare say a woman would just shrug her shoulders. Hit a man where it hurts at your peril: His mother’s honour.

It’s only 0655 hrs GMT. Please forgive me for keeping my reasoning simple.

U

Edit: Sweethearts, it’s now 0745. I have woken up. The reason no one says “Daughter of a bitch” is because there is a short cut. Just call her: “You Bitch”. Yes. Happened to me three years ago: “YOU BITCH, IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT” This was dished out to me, just as I was trying to hold on to last remnants of sanity, the morning of moving house and cats being lost, my world spiralling down the plug hole, by the same American who, two months, earlier had told me that if she were in my situation she’d commit suicide. Yes, you, my readers, may flinch at her recommendation. Several people did. I didn’t. I thought it rather comforting (at least someone understood the drama, neither do I commit suicide). However, whilst being called a bitch is ok with me she also slapped me, twice, so hard that my glasses flew off. And she didn’t help me find them. The “bitch” was fine with me, the slaps were fine with me (people do lose their temper, not the end of the world, no hard feelings). But WATCH me try and find my glasses? And not help? Never shall you learn more about people than when the shit hits the fan. I found them, eventually.Tell the truth: I was so happy she didn’t stamp on them for good measure.

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10 Comments »

  1. I think the simple answer is that it does not trot off the tongue as well as “son o’a bitch”
    you can really spit that one out xxx

    Comment by john G — March 8, 2012 @ 09:21 | Reply

    • It does roll of your tongue easily, you are right. Few men will stand for it though. The intelligent ones, those with some sort of control and not too inebriated, will shrug it off and walk away: They wouldn’t want that bitch of their mother having to wipe off snot, blood and tears. Or sit in A&E for hours.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — March 8, 2012 @ 09:36 | Reply

  2. Women have been called so many derrogatory names that I don’t think anything fazes us anymore. But men are outraged at the SOB slur. I guess they just love their mamas – and since I have a son – I have to think he’d probably knock someone senseless who called him that as he would see it not as an insult to him, but to me. Go figure.

    Comment by writingfeemail — March 8, 2012 @ 11:27 | Reply

  3. I see you’ve edited your original post and stole a little bit of my thunder, as I was reacting to your initial words. I was going to say that the insults to women are directed right at them. I suppose you can also direct insults to a man calling them any number of colorful adjectives, but to really twang the emotional chords of men, it seems, as you’ve observed, the most effective way to insult and infuriate them is to lash out and insult their forebears or progeny. Maybe it’s this protective instinct wired into the brains from millenia of evolution. Now you’ve got me wondering exactly why that is.

    Regarding your own personal incident – awful. That it was from the mouth of another woman seems to give some credence that women can be psychologically more stinging in their approach. The facial wounds of the slap heal far quicker than the psychological slashes in the persona, which can linger and surface at a moments notice, hurting every bit as much as it did the first time the cut was made and evoking the same level of emotion it seems in the hearts of women. At the risk of being sexist, I will say that this is one of the main differences between the sexes. Not to say we are not haunted by past hurts, but rarely to they well up the same level of emotion with the passage of time.

    Maybe I need to stop rambling myself and get myself good, strong cup of coffee.

    Comment by Phil — March 8, 2012 @ 13:20 | Reply

    • I’d never knowingly steal your thunder, Phil. Yes, men are protective of their mothers. When I come across a grown man dedicating a piece of music, a poem, anything, to his mother it moves me beyond measure.

      Please also do see my reply to Magpie.

      Yes, that personal incident. What’s so awful about it is that it was nothing to me. We could have put it behind us a minute later. That day was pandemonium anyway. Yet, after 14 years of a solid friendship, she broke off, on instruction of her husband (the bystander at the time), all contact with me. I don’t know how many times I have said it’s ok. As I said people’s temper will get the better of them. It’s NO big deal. What is a very big deal, and I don’t understand it, that when I stretch out a hand it’s not taken. It’s complicated. I know she’d probably take my hand (hot headed people are as easily reconciled as they blow up) and we’d be back to our friendship. But then (and I say this with some bitterness) couples seem to come in packages. It’s what I dislike about marriage: Suddenly you are not an individual. You are one for the price of two. So, what her husband says, goes. Incidentally, that husband of hers is the father of my son.

      And no, you are not sexist. There is a huge difference, generalizing here, how men and women deal with conflict. Men tend to lock things away. Men want results not sentimentality. I am lucky in that little in my life has ever really mattered. I can’t explain it: It matters, and at the same time it doesn’t.I shake off things so very easily. Don’t understand it sometimes. After my early years (with my grandparents) I grew up in a highly explosive (and critical) environment. But one thing, and it’s what I have in common with my father, I will never ever sulk, hold a grudge. Once Vesuvius has stopped spitting it’s ok. Let’s go back to our village, clear up the debris. Fine. What did I, or rather Peggy Lee, say the other day: “Let’s keep dancing”. However, it takes two to tango. And if the other one doesn’t take an outstretched hand then a wound will fester. Badly. Unnecessarily so.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — March 8, 2012 @ 14:58 | Reply

      • Yikes again! So FOS was present when the scuffle took place? And you believe you could be good friends with FOS wife, but FOS is standing in the way? I have a million questions I could ask based on my curiosity that is rarely sated, but I’m afraid you’d significantly exceed your minimalist word counts this blog is known for.

        Comment by Phil — March 8, 2012 @ 17:34 | Reply

  4. Mm! I’ve never actually heard anyone use that term in “real life” and on film I believe it to be an Americanism. My reply would probably be “Oh! Woof! Woof!” or “I always knew my father was a dirty dog!”(I have “issues” around my father.) It has it seems also to have become a general expression of …whatever… and is mildly preferable to the ubiquitous “Eff Word” which has achieved a singular lack of meaning and an amazing gender neutral status.

    Apart from ease of expletion (it is a real word) I would suggest that “Son of a bitch” is a male on male insult in derivation. Feemail makes a good point. Perhaps the original intention was always to provoke a physical confrontation.

    I suppose that the equivalent male on female insult is the “Bee word”(not buzz…although that might be a useful coded way of saying it). The “Bee word” is a particularly vicious insult given the behaviour of bitches on heat.

    Just for the record; even at his very worst state of violent temper I never once heard my father swear at my mother or any other person except to call me a something or other brat or bastard. In fact I once heard him berate my sister mildly, for using the word “chuffed”. I suspect that he had another meaning for the word (which, like wicked,changed from its original meaning to it’s complete opposite)… based upon the rhythmic sound made by a steam train.

    Oh sorry, I do go on.

    Comment by magpie11 — March 8, 2012 @ 13:31 | Reply

    • You have never heard that expression in “real life”? What a sheltered life you live.

      I think Italians, when they want to hit you where it hurts a man’s Mama, say “Son of a whore”. And of course, Renee is right: A man will take many things on the chin. But never ever his mother being insulted. Even if, in reality, she is a whore. Or maybe it gives him reason to cast doubt over his paternity. Spare a thought for Jesus Christ. And he was conceived immaculately.

      One of my areas of studies is ‘invective’. It’s fascinating. I will say things like “Fucking hell” – in private. But I say that in a mellow way, friendly, appreciative way. Unlike “SWEET”. Which, most the time, is pure acid when it comes from me.

      My son’s friends like me and trust me. They will search me out and they know they can use any lingo and I will not flinch. However, there is one word it took the Angel some time to explain to me that it is far more harmless than it sounds to me. I don’t like it but I take the point. And in virtually every single European language it is used. No, not arsehole.

      And Magpie, please don’t apologize for “going on”. You know you can do that on my blog. Would I ever say “Piss off”? I would, actually. But only because I like the sound of it. Not because I mean it.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — March 8, 2012 @ 14:21 | Reply

      • Yes Ursula, the good old “figlio di puttana” expression. Pretty much guaranteed to drive men to the code duello and vendetta. Those pesky Italians…

        Comment by Phil — March 8, 2012 @ 17:29 | Reply

  5. Bitch=female dog. Dog=everything good in this world. How could “bitch” be turned into an insult toward women? Only humans can screw up things so royally and irrationally.

    Glad you found your glasses. I don’t know that I could have recovered from having someone slap them off my face. You’re a stronger woman than I am.

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — March 9, 2012 @ 18:07 | Reply


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