Bitch on the Blog

April 8, 2012


Filed under: Beauty — bitchontheblog @ 02:32
Tags: , ,

Having warmed to the theme I will recycle a comment I just left in response to a man who can’t be bought with a peanut for the price of a cocktail.

Two years ago a seagull shat on my head right bang centre of town. It felt like a huge raindrop on the crown of my head (you know, where your hair divides into front, sides, and back – the zenith as it were). However, it wasn’t raining. I tentatively felt the spot, inspected my finger tips and Watson to my Sherlock beat a determined retreat into the department store right next to me. Cosmetic departments always on the ground floor. And where they flog you beauty there will be tissues.

By golly, how lucky I was: I latched onto a counter with eyecandy complete with eyeliner in the shape of sex on legs. And no, I am not a cradle snatcher. I asked him for a tissue or five. To the credit of his upbringing and good manners he did not laugh when I told him what it was for. He only smiled. And asked me to come back for a make over once I’d recovered my composure and tidied up. I beat my retreat like a crab, only backwards.

Fast forward a couple of years: Now I live in true seagull city. None of them shit on me. Has my luck run out?



1 Comment »

  1. There are different kinds of luck, U. But you don’t strike me as a person who sets her rudder on which way the luck is blowing or the birds are crapping (which is generally down). As a general rule, I wouldn’t wait for a bird to crap on me as my “sign” that something great is right around the corner. Something great is always there for you; don’t miss it while you’re looking up for the bird with a load to drop… (I know, this sounds like something Confucius might say–pithy and wise–but, I swear, I just made it up myself!) 😉

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — April 9, 2012 @ 14:29 | Reply

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