Bitch on the Blog

April 13, 2012

Pen friends, foes and the rest

Filed under: Psychology — bitchontheblog @ 13:01
Tags: , ,

Like many who enter a marriage of convenience (in this case ‘blogging’) I am disenchanted. Not that I expected much in the first place. The upside being that I have made friends (at least in my own mind) with people who will pass my litmus test, the ultimate. What’s the litmus test? One of you knows the others may sleep well. Don’t worry your pretty little heads.

I read few blogs, I “follow” even fewer. Quality over quantity any time. However: Just like an itch you need to scratch or that scab on your knee, when your ten year old self fell off the bike, wants to be picked to prolongue the healing process, there are bloggers who I visit because they irritate the hell out of me. Say, two or three. They don’t know it. Yes, I know when to keep shtum.

Today I dedicate my thoughts to, and reserve my venom for one who has me not so much in the first antechambre of hell as quietly roasting her on my spit. She is exquisite in her art. And the most foul mouthed woman I have ever come across. It’s as much her trademark as is Lorna’s way to sublimate her life’s experiences into the divine.

So far SO WHAT? So nothing. A friend of mine who is hot on labelling everything and totally uncalled for, will mark her as “passive aggressive”. Since, when necessary, I prefer to be aggressive and not passive I am not quite sure what the term means. I can only guess that it’s attacking others without actually “coming out”. Now I know that I can be pretty vague but when I really have to say something to someone’s face I say it. Not leave my scent mark and then slink off into the night and groom my whiskers.

A long intro to a simple question:

What makes us engage with another person? Intrigues us? Why do we like? Why do we dislike? Don’t ask me. I have few ideas on what is a fascinating subject. Reminds me of chemistry lessons. Try and make water and oil into an emulsion. A lot of oil may just about be able to absorb a drop of water. A lot of water will always show up those little pearls of oil on the top. No, this is not a cookery class. This is wondering how and why people click. Or not.

U

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6 Comments »

  1. Pen foes! What a lovely idea… Blog friends….Blog foes (I’ve had a few of those)
    As to your queston: Impossible to answer. I know why I first engaged with your goodself and I will not tell even if you extract my finger nails. Well, I will not tell publicly.
    I hope I have solved the problem of Worpress allowing me to post here.

    Comment by David (magpie) — April 13, 2012 @ 16:20 | Reply

    • Extract your fingernails? Please do have a manicure instead.

      Yes, wordpress: To my toe curling embarrassment they divulged my blog to a person I was hoping would keep me in high esteem to the end of my days. Ouch. But then damage limitation is my middle name.

      To expand on my theme: I don’t like snakes, the underhand. The ones who window dress. Blogging rarely is paradise though there is the odd garden, an oasis among wasteland and wasted space. I’d love to write on blogging but I can’t . It’d be like fouling my own nest which, according to my mother, is a no no.

      Bloggers like to give awards (to each other). The awards I’d like to give will not be accepted. Not even in the name of self promotion. There is one person – and it’s not the one I referred to in my original post – who deserves, I don’t know, something. She plays out her private life including that of her children to an extent I’d disown her if she were my sister. Credit where it’s due: She is amazing with words. And I’d never trust her with my or anyone else’s life. If she knew how she has written herself into the corner of her own life’s soap opera she’d weep. But then some people’s tear ducts are blocked.

      I once dared (it’s some time ago) to gently suggest that maybe she should loosen up a little and not be quite so foul about her ex husband’s new wife – if only in the interest of her children. Naturally, I was deleted, banned, barred, derided. Indeed I was accused of BEING the new wife using an alias. Sweet.The Angel who has little sympathy for my engaging with the world of blogging, at his most reassuring told me that there are “nutters” out there. Let’s hope I am only a hazel rather than a big whopping walnut.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 13, 2012 @ 21:05 | Reply

      • Apologies to all those who subscribe and will have received at least five updates of my reply to David. Am rather distracted at the moment. Help the hypochondriac in me – I do have floaters in my left eye. As excuses for absentmindedness go don’t you think I am doing rather well?

        U

        Comment by bitchontheblog — April 13, 2012 @ 21:14 | Reply

  2. We, meaning me, click when we see a blogging name that is unlike others, ie. bitchontheblog…nobody can resist a good bitch.

    Comment by Sandra — April 13, 2012 @ 22:49 | Reply

    • Sandra, hi, let’s not go where even a bitch wouldn’t wish to be seen. Apart from the other reason why I called my blog as I did I am a sucker for alliteration. It could have been worse: I could have called it “bitchonthebog”. Not that I particularly like toilet humour (once you are out of your diapers you should leave it behind) but there is a lot of that “which millions of flies love” about.

      Do you remember that saying (I think it was coined in the sixties), and I paraphrase: Just because millions of flies eat shit doesn’t make it more palatable.

      See you at yours.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 14, 2012 @ 08:14 | Reply

  3. There are two schools of thought to turn to in answering your question about what attracts to to or repels us from others.
    1. We see some quality in that person that we lack, so we either glom onto that person because we want to be more like them or we reject them because deep down we feel flawed and believe they are, too.
    2, We see some quality in that person we have. If we accept and like that quality, we are attracted to that person because they must be as great as we are. If we dislike that quality in ourselves, then we really don’t like it in others and are, therefore repelled by the very thought of them (because the remind us of our deficits).

    Of course, all this psychobabble could be just that and we like or dislike certain people because, well, they remind us of our dog/snake or our favorite chum/enemy in high school. One thing I learned as a sociologist (whose job it is to observe, study, and explain human social behavior) is that humans are too complicated to understand–interesting to ponder, but forget trying to figure them out. By the way, I’m a recovering-sociologist… 😉

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — April 16, 2012 @ 14:26 | Reply


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