Bitch on the Blog

May 14, 2012

Kick in the shin

Filed under: Errors — bitchontheblog @ 18:45
Tags: ,

Many years ago someone told me: I love you, but I don’t like you.

Pause for thought.

Breathe in. Exhale.

Earlier today I was asked whether I like myself. The answer is: Yes. I do. Even though I have fucked up massively.



  1. We all have screwed it up. I’m just glad you like yourself. That’s one less massive obstacle to not have to deal with.

    Comment by conhake — May 14, 2012 @ 19:02 | Reply

  2. I suppose the next logical question we should ask you is whether you love yourself.

    The most important thing, love or like notwithstanding is to believe in yourself. People learn and grow from their mistakes as well as their successes. Do that, and there’s much to like and love about yourself.

    Now, if only I could figure out the riddles that are your tag words for this post…

    Comment by Phil — May 14, 2012 @ 19:31 | Reply

    • Love myself? I like myself. I believe we love others. Warts and all. Correction: I hate warts. Must be those fairy tales and their toads that made me squeamish.

      Fact is, and Con, you and the Angel picked up on it: I have, momentarily, lost the plot. Don’t worry. Any of you. I have found my way out of many woods before. Still, I do currently despair with myself. If I were my friend we’d have a big falling out.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 14, 2012 @ 20:21 | Reply

  3. Yes and I will give you a Vampires squeeze if you call by
    one of these nights, just be careful though or I might bite you…

    Androgoth XXx

    Comment by Androgoth — May 15, 2012 @ 00:35 | Reply

  4. I am so much harder on myself than others are on me. I expect too much. I push too hard. Then it can be difficult not to get disappointed. Sometimes I just have to let it go and move on. Whatever it is, maybe that will help. Yes, that and a nice tall flute of champagne.

    Comment by writingfeemail — May 15, 2012 @ 01:09 | Reply

    • Yes, Renee, I can relate to being ‘hard’ on yourself. Harder than others? That would be hard to beat. Once I started living with my parents I’d say my upbringing was highly critical. Even my mother, who had her own demands on me, would shake her head at my father, saying: You ask too much of her. According to her I am the only of their four children who took him seriously, who actually listened to him. For hours. And challenged him big time. To this day.

      I am grateful to my father, in that he, literally, taught me a lot. I sometimes wonder where I’d be now if there hadn’t be his input. Insert wistful pause. Essentially, so I believe, we and our outlook on life are formed in the first five or six years of our life, and those years were very happy years for me (living with my grandparents). Set me up for the rest of it.

      Did I have one too many of your tall flutes of champagne to tell you all this?


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 01:42 | Reply

  5. I was told that, too. Shortly after I found out he didn’t love me either. Double whammy. I got to practice a whole lot of forgiveness. Still am. Forgiveness for whom and for what? I’m writing about that in my memoir. 😉

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — May 15, 2012 @ 20:18 | Reply

    • Dear Lorna, first piece of advice I’d like everyone to take to heart: Don’t take seriously that which is said to you in a moment of anger. Sure, I was startled – for a moment. But anger will out – no rhyme, no reason. Water off a duck’s back. But then I am good at that.

      Secondly, let no one ever tell you they didn’t love you in the first place. It’s complete nonsense. I don’t know how to define love in the romantic context. It’s ephemeral – maybe. It’s solid – sometimes.Who knows.I have been fortunate in that both men I married were good men, honorable men. In both cases we parted ways for good reasons, amicably. I know they loved me. I loved them. I still do – in as much as they are part of the fabric of my life.How could I not recognize their contribution to my life? As I know I am part of theirs.

      I think it so very sad when people deny their past by denigrating those who were once important to them. It’s where I drew a line with my ex sister-in-law. She had two daughters with husband number one. She had a great relationship with husband number two, who was loved by her daughters. Then she sent out wedding invitations headlined: THIRD TIME LUCKY. Third time lucky? Is that woman on the right ticker? Why kick the father of her children and his successor where it hurts? I didn’t get it. Neither did I attend the wedding. Which according to FOS (her brother) was a rather painfully long drawn out affair of readings and more readings. Paths may part but purleeeeeese spare me that you have never loved before you met your current love interest. It’s just bollocks.

      More of which another time.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 21:07 | Reply

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