Bitch on the Blog

May 15, 2012

Hot air

Filed under: Errors — bitchontheblog @ 08:27
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I am pleased with myself. Not for the right reasons. I followed the advice, wrong in my opinion, that if I do not have anything nice to say to say nothing at all. So, since I do not like routine unless it serves a purpose, just now I ventured from my well trodden path and didn’t say a word, didn’t click the keys on my board. No, let me be honest: I said what needed to be said but deleted it before pressing the submit button. Don’t say I have no self control.

It would have been carnage. There is a blogger out there who irritates the hell out of me. Smug is not the word to describe him. The guy has a fixation on women without being gay. Though who knows. After all, what are closets for? His latest offering marks him as someone who used to “ditch” people. Well, Sweetheart, you could have fooled me. Who’d want to shack up with you? The Richter Scale on which my chemistry with you might register as yet to be invented. And that’s before we enter your bed chamber. Going by what you say I can just imagine you as one of those truly boring guys who know the theory of which buttons to push. Emphasis on THEORY. Cut the apron strings, think Marlon Brando in a vest,  Paul Newman, Al Pacino, Robert de Niro,  if you are truly ambitious. Let rip. Talk about beer. Strum a guitar. Blow on a harmonica (gosh, didn’t Charles Bronson do it so beautifully). But for heavens’ sake stop whining. And then there was the delicious Jason Robards extolling the virtues of his whore mother’s coffee. Anything, Sweetheart, anything … just stop whining, and preening. It so does not become you.

U

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12 Comments »

  1. Oh! That was instructive…but raises the question as to whether aany of those men actually exist in real life! I find that the female equivalents do not…. ‘though I do harbour the hope that I will meet an Andie MacDowell one day. I love her eyes….
    Glad I’m no longer blogging however.

    Comment by David(Magpie) — May 15, 2012 @ 10:30 | Reply

  2. Instructive? I am afraid you have fallen into a trap. Just because I mention certain names doesn’t mean I am on their trail. Though will admit to ‘Harmonica’ (Charles Bronson in ‘Once upon a time in the West’) and Jason Robards, son of a whore, in, guess what, ‘Once upon a time in the West’. That film will tell you all there is to know about men and friendship. Not that there aren’t other films in the same vein I could mention. Don’t know why but am endlessly fascinated by how men forge friendships among themselves.

    You ask whether any of those men exist in real life. They do, David, they do. As, no doubt, does Andie MacDowell. Don’t know about her eyes. But her hair is mine. And her smile divine.

    U

    Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 10:53 | Reply

  3. But Ursula, this is the Internet after all. The place where a person can lie er… I mean completely make up stuff um… oh yes, embellish about his or her persona just a wee bit. The Internet is life imitating art. The trap of course is when one actually begins to believe their delusions of grandeur.

    Nicely done with regard to completely articulating your thoughts, and then deleting them before sending. I do wonder though, what was the attraction in the first place, given your comments?

    Comment by Phil — May 15, 2012 @ 17:04 | Reply

    • Don’t go all Lorna on me.

      What was the attraction? There wasn’t. That’s how perverse humans are, I am. Where I live now there are no flies buzzing. So I need to make up my own irritation. And that guy does serve the purpose. I just hope he doesn’t visit my blog. Chance being a fine thing. I am not in the market to blow egos apart.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 17:39 | Reply

      • There is an old saying, “It is the empty kettle, when struck, which makes the loudest sound.” I wonder if the same applies to egos? In the spirit of your thread title, keep in mind that hot air takes up more volume, and so we’d expect a larger ego to accompany all that hot air. Maybe you don’t need to blow the ego apart – maybe just let a little air out…

        Comment by Phil — May 15, 2012 @ 17:59 | Reply

        • You touched a bit of a nerve. A woman who doesn’t like me, though does now tolerate me, loves that saying. Directed it at me – more than once. Maybe she is right. I wouldn’t know. Not least because I have no interest in striking kettles only to be hollered by their sound.

          As to egos. I say: Let them be. Usually they are amusing. If they are amusing. And like all children will have witnessed: You don’t need to prick a balloon. In time it’ll shrink. Law of physics.

          U

          Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 18:46 | Reply

  4. Interesting post and comments. “Don’t go all Lorna on me”? I didn’t know I was a genre or philosophy or whatever. I’m flattered. I think.

    What I was going to say before I read the comment thread was: Are you sure you didn’t copy and paste rather than delete? 😉 All that steam has to go somewhere, And that’s why I am overly suspicious of pressure cookers, even though people tell me they are quite efficient and turn out great meals. Except when they blow the ceiling out of your kitchen…

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — May 15, 2012 @ 19:56 | Reply

    • Lorna, should the need ever arise I will move in with you. I too can’t stand pressure cookers. They are untrustworthy. They make a lot of noise, reminding one of Shakespeare’s A lot to do over nothing or some such, and one can’t help but wonder whether you’ll leave the kitchen, face intacta.

      And yes, you have put the Lorna stamp on my life. By all means do be flattered. Few are allowed to walk into my sanctuary.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 15, 2012 @ 20:16 | Reply

      • When you are so moved to move, I’ll send you my address. NO pressure cookers here!

        Love, The Flattered L

        Comment by Lorna's Voice — May 15, 2012 @ 20:23 | Reply

  5. I’m totally impressed with your self-control in typing the response then hitting delete before submitting. You get two gold stars for good behavior and another for sharing the ‘hot-air’ with us. Love it.

    Comment by writingfeemail — May 15, 2012 @ 21:20 | Reply

    • Thank you, Renee. I’ll let you into one of my better guarded secrets. On which you may wish to withdraw all gold stars you so kindly bestowed on me.

      Not only do I delete a lot of my comments – I sometimes write two versions. One which is civilized and I will send; the other what I’d really like to say, causing me huge amusement and sky high satisfaction yet unprintable. I occasionally do the same with emails. And I most certainly play lots of different versions of a conversation in my head. Oh, Renee, how much fun you can have all by yourself.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 16, 2012 @ 03:51 | Reply

  6. Ahhhh so you did call by to have a peep,
    I knew that Marlon Brando in a vest would
    tempt you inside (I nearly added a smiley
    there but noooooooo I remembered).

    So this guy is a bit of a sackless moron then?

    Have a nice rest of evening U

    Androgoth XXx

    Comment by Androgoth — May 16, 2012 @ 21:35 | Reply


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