Bitch on the Blog

October 1, 2012

Gold Star

Filed under: Errors — bitchontheblog @ 03:28
Tags: , , ,

The ever watchful Matron WordPress has drawn to my attention that I like myself. Yes? So? Obviously I like myself. Otherwise I’d go the lemming’s way: Off the cliff.

Don’t get me wrong, WordPress: You are a good platform for people who like themselves. But you can be a little patronizing. Still, at least you, WordPress, have stopped giving me a gold star for every post I publish. Telling me whether I have reached my quota. What quota? If you, WordPress, were a class at school and I were, say, for sake of argument, five or eighteen years of age I’d just walk out.

Have any of you, my readers, ever walked out of anything? And why?

One of my finer moments when that previously mentioned nemesis of my life, my Maths teacher, set us yet another test. Hushed silence. My friend (she later became a pathologist) sending me a besieging look across the room, signalling me to get the fuck on with it. Well, her effort came to nothing. I took one look at the question. And left the room. And then spent a very enjoyable 45 minutes in the loo smoking a cigarette. Feeling extremely pleased with myself.

Don’t smirk at the above. There is method in my madness. I could have tried to answer the question and made a complete fool of myself. Instead of which I exited nonchalantly – with not a stroke of my pen on the paper, yet with my dignity intact. My dignity being more important to me than being a dismal failure.

So, yes. I got the worst mark of my life. In red ink. On top of which my maths teacher was incandescent at my insubordination. Which reminds me:  Why, like Rumpelstilzkin, are short men either very funny (Woody Allen), amazing actors (Dustin Hoffman) or do make your life a misery?

You can tell, can’t you: If I had lived during the French Revolution I’d be dead by now.

Yes. Thanks for the above. I feel so much better for venting one of my many spleens.

Will now catch up with the ever charming Bill Clinton and some of his spoutings two or three weeks ago. Yes, charisma. You either have it or you don’t.




  1. Yes, I walked out of my bedroom 2 hrs ago… for a cigarette… and now I ought to go back.

    Comment by Scarlet — October 1, 2012 @ 05:16 | Reply

    • Should you ever wish to stop smoking, Scarlet, do fall in love with my ex-husband. He’ll soon cure you. And no, on point of divorce, I didn’t take up again one of the loves of my life (smoking). Though one of the Angel’s friends is trying to convert me. You can’t be converted when you gave up at age 22/23. There is a point of no return in life. As much as you’d like to do a Mrs Thatcher.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 3, 2012 @ 11:06 | Reply

  2. I walked out of a movie once: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I really don’t know why I walked into that movie in the first place.

    I, too, noticed that WP stopped notifying how many more posts I needed to make until I reached their (my?) next arbitrary goal. I thought that once I hit the 300 post mark, they gave up on “:incentivising” me with “atta girls.” They deduced I was an overachiever, which was astute for a blog platform I think.

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — October 1, 2012 @ 19:30 | Reply

    • Why did you walk into “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” in the first place? Surely, the title must have given you a clue. OH MY GOD, Lorna: I can barely stand the sight of people handling a knife when chopping an onion. Which is why I never get into a heated debate in anyone’s kitchen. In an emergency some will use a fork to stab your point of reasoning.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 3, 2012 @ 11:10 | Reply

      • I was in college and it was 25 cent movie night. I was in my “dark period” and enjoyed a good scare-me-to-pieces flick now and again just to have my boyfriend hold me tight. Does that help you understand? Still. I stayed to get my 2 cents worth and walked out–the only movie I ever walked out on. My boyfriend stayed. At the movie. He dumped me. And so it goes…

        Comment by Lorna's Voice — October 3, 2012 @ 17:56 | Reply

  3. ah those red marks
    nasty upsetting things of childhood

    Comment by john — October 1, 2012 @ 21:07 | Reply

    • Not that I am a teacher, John, but for a while I was given to green ink when replying to letters. Which, apparently, left a smirk on my otherwise impeccable character reference. Now I use purple.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 3, 2012 @ 11:12 | Reply

      • The ‘smirk’ should have read ‘smudge’. There you are, John. Your opportunity today to use red and mark me down. Other than that: Do put me in one of your coops and make me write one hundred lines of whatever takes your fancy,.As long as it’s black on white.


        Comment by bitchontheblog — October 3, 2012 @ 11:32 | Reply

  4. I walked out of chemistry class. Technically it was over and the bell had rung, but our new teacher with the curtain of long black hair wanted to keep us after class – again. We had all decided to stick together – the whole class. And we did all stand up but when she barked at us, all but me sat back down. I kept going and right out of the door. In my defense I knew she wasn’t allowed to do that under NC law. And her attempts to have me disciplined fell on deaf ears. But from that I became somewhat of an activist I suppose.

    Comment by writingfeemail — October 2, 2012 @ 02:17 | Reply

    • Yes, Renee, the little Hitlers and Mussolinis in our lives. Insert heartfelt sigh. I salute you for sticking to your guns (!), nay, make that “convictions”.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 3, 2012 @ 11:15 | Reply

  5. I walked out of a college visit orientation with my oldest daughter. A nice little private college in New England. I remember the speaker say with pride how they were going to take our kids, force them to think and rethink every single thing we’ve taught them, so they would return home and challenge and reject our way of thinking, politically, morally, and culturally, as being staid and stodgy. I looked at the tuition and noted that for $45,000 per year (this was 12 years ago mind you) I could easily cross this one off the list of potential colleges. Got up and left the room after mumbling to a few parents close by I had heard enough. I think the speaker was annoyed.

    Comment by Phil — October 3, 2012 @ 05:46 | Reply

    • I seldom get floored. Your narrative has done just that.

      May I say that, by walking out, you not only saved your daughter but also went the road of least resistance. I would have taken the opportunity (assuming that parents were allowed to ask questions) to challenge (and ridicule) the school’s presenting panel. Their notion being incredible. Nothing to do with the money. Let’s hope the “speaker” took something away from your exit. Unlikely. People do fossilize.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 3, 2012 @ 11:26 | Reply

      • I am all for the development of critical thinking skills along with contrarian debate on various topics. What stuck in my craw was the notion that the sole purpose was to automatically reject any thinking that was already in place in these young minds, especially when the administration had no flippin’ clue what that might be. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you – on so many different levels.

        Comment by Phil — October 3, 2012 @ 11:50 | Reply

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