Bitch on the Blog

December 6, 2012


Filed under: Fortune — bitchontheblog @ 17:28
Tags: , , ,

Sweethearts, no I haven’t gone on an extended honeymoon or saved one single donkey since I last wrote.

What I have done is fallen off my chair.  I read that “men are more attracted to women who look like them”. Really?  Stay clear off me. All of you. I don’t want to look like ANY of you. And yes, that includes you too. Even if I love you, and or like you (two emotions not always going hand in hand). Don’t dismiss those brackets: I was once told that someone loved me but didn’t like me. Forget loving me, like me instead. Or neither. Just enjoy my company. As I will yours.

I grew up in the belief that – when still in our fertile years – men and women are attracted to each other, oh so mysteriously, by their genetic compatibility. Which is why you shouldn’t have babies with a sibling because, as my mother once put it so delicately with regards to some unfortunate neighbours of ours: “Why do you think inbreeding gives us a village idiot?” My mother is good like that. She calls a spade a spade. And will hand you a fork if you want your soup running through the gaps.

Forgetting genes, the other theory is that we choose someone roughly as ATTRACTIVE as WE are. Hmm. Yes. I have to say: Even at age five my first boyfriend was handsome indeed. Very. Nothing has changed. It may be a fluke of my life, and a very lucky one at that: I have always found magical combinations – charm, looks, wit, intelligence, indeed eloquence, sharpness of mind, honesty, openess. And that’s just my friends. As they say: You attract into your life what you need. Good. So apart from a bit manure I attract the fair and beautiful of both soul and exterior. Even my cats – until they died – were faultless.

So when you go home tonight don’t look at the one you swore yourself to in the light of your own likeness; don’t go down the pub to meet your friends only to realize that you are looking at the mirror behind the bottles across the bar; don’t expect your children to look like you unless you are their mother. Fathers, by necessity, are gamblers. I could now say something else my mother said some years ago but it might result in a law suit. Not brought on by either her or me but one of my nephews. Because one of his cousins looks more like my nephew’s father than he does. Work that one out if you can.

Hugs and kisses,




  1. The study was conducted in San Francisco.

    Comment by Looney — December 7, 2012 @ 03:13 | Reply

    • One may speculate why this is so, Looney. Let’s see what LA comes up with.


      Comment by Ursula — December 8, 2012 @ 01:27 | Reply

  2. Come on! Tell us the truth about why you fell off the chair. Can you imagine me being attracted to a woman who looked like me? I am anything but nuts Ursula.

    Comment by rummuser — December 7, 2012 @ 13:45 | Reply

    • No, I can’t imagine you being attracted to woman who looked liked you. After all you wants to kiss a woman with a beard? Unless both of you are about 120 years of age (each, not combined).

      No, that was NOT nice. Let me try again and be serious: Beards are fine if unhygienic unless you are as fastidious as, say, my father who too, to my displeasure, sports one of those captain’s beards that men of a certain age (captains) do. Anyway, let my mother deal with that. However, I do hate designer stubble. Designer stubble looks good on men in adverts, and friends you don’t kiss. Otherwise it’s sandpaper. And down right discourteous.


      Comment by Ursula — December 8, 2012 @ 01:37 | Reply

  3. does that mean I actually LOOK like Rusell Crowe?
    I bloody wish
    I would spend all day looking at myself

    Comment by john — December 7, 2012 @ 18:26 | Reply

    • Yes, you do look like Russell Crowe, John. Only better. You are kissable. I said YOU are kissable. Russell Crowe needs to keep at least one blind rooster first before I’d consider him a contender.


      Comment by Ursula — December 8, 2012 @ 01:40 | Reply

  4. This explains much. People have always said my son looked just like me, except for the people who said he looked exactly like my husband. Now I know. We must look exactly alike – except for the fact that we are total opposites. He’s a brunette, brown eyed, mustached rascal. I on the other hand, am blond, blue eyed with fair complexion. Hmmm. Son has sandy hair and hazel eyes that change colors. He also has a beard. Yikes.

    Comment by writingfeemail — December 7, 2012 @ 19:48 | Reply

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