Bitch on the Blog

February 18, 2013

Options paralysis

Filed under: Architecture,Communication — bitchontheblog @ 05:46
Tags: , , , ,

There are questionable sayings. Like “Whenever a door closes another one opens”. Not in my experience. A door will close (make sure your foot doesn’t get caught in it and just walk down the corridor – an exit will show itself) and then – after a suitable interval of agonizing –  not ONE, nay, several doors will open all at once. Like buses. First there is none for twenty minutes. Then you’ve forgotten which number is yours. Come to think of it: That’s how carelessly I live my life. Some of my wonderous fellow human beings having it all mapped out. Sweethearts, if you are one of them make sure you know how to read a map without having to turn it upside down in order to take the right or left turn on route from A to B.

Apropos of nothing: I don’t like revolving doors. They are a menace and in these ‘health and safety’  hyper aware times should be banned.




  1. I prefer to take a few sticks of dynamite and make a new door.

    Comment by Looney — February 18, 2013 @ 18:00 | Reply

    • You remember that song (I don’t): “TNT.. pregnant pause .. and Dynamite”? Yes,. well. whatever. If I want a waste disposal expert I frequent an undertaker.

      Other than that I am still reeling from visiting your blog earlier today. Let’s leave aside how long it takes an English mother tongue speaker to learn a foreign language. Fact is they don’t. Because the whole world, apart from the French, does speak English, pigeon or sparrow. Italians and the deaf taking a short cut by using sign language. Universal.

      More of which as soon as my brain sorted. Came across most hilarious exchange between you and me earlier today when tolling my archive.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — February 18, 2013 @ 18:52 | Reply

      • What is Looney’s blog link?

        Comment by bikehikebabe66 — February 18, 2013 @ 19:31 | Reply

      • U, I have it in mind to ask you to do some Skype tutoring when I eventually get back to re-learning German. Learning language is so much more than just vocabulary, grammar and pronunciation. There is always a bit of personality that is required!

        There are still some corners of Asia where English isn’t known. Then there is Japan where English is known well, but it really isn’t too much of a help. The months I spent working in Germany just convinced me of the inadequacy of my English grammar, which proved to be a severe hindrance to communication.

        Comment by Looney — February 19, 2013 @ 02:57 | Reply

        • Looney, remember you don’t speak English. You speak American.

          Comment by bikehikebabe66 — February 19, 2013 @ 04:36 | Reply

          • BHB, it is, like awesome ValleySpeak out here, y’know huh? Communicating with the younglings can be quite a challenge!

            Comment by Looney — February 19, 2013 @ 05:26 | Reply

      • BHB, you can find my blog over at:

        Many in my group have been sent to visit your little town over the last year, so I am still hopeful for a chance to drop by!

        Comment by Looney — February 19, 2013 @ 02:59 | Reply

  2. I also dislike revolving doors. They are indeed a menace. The tricky business of slipping into it at just the right time, without being clobbered by it, is a nuisance and not a very friendly welcome to whatever organisation is trying to get your custom.

    As for doors in general, my experience is that when one door closes, another one may very well open, but only after you’ve spent a while searching for it and then having to wrench it open because it’s stuck.

    Comment by Nick — February 24, 2013 @ 12:29 | Reply

    • Yes, Nick. That why it pays to go to places where they have doormen. Not least because you have someone to smile at, and they smile back at you which is less than you can say for a revolving door – if slightly absentminded you might bump into the glass. Or some impatient fellow passenger will push against the glass only for the revolving door coming to an immediate standstill. Not to be recommended for the even slightly claustrophobic. Mind you, they are miles better than a lift. Can you imagine being stuck in a crowded lift between floors and no water on you? Die now, resurrect later.

      The day I said good bye to revolving doors when my son (say, age 10 or something) stretched his left arm upwards leaning against a wall, whilst I was a meter away at the counter trying to sort out travel insurance. Yes, insurance. That was the joke part of it. As I turned round briefly to reassure him it wouldn’t take much longer I saw, split second, to my horror what was just about to happen. A revolving door right next to BUT behind him set into motion. That his left arm wasn’t taken off its hinges was a miracle. It’s one of those moments of my life which even more than a decade on makes me sick to my stomach when I remember it. IT WAS SUCH A NARROW ESCAPE I nearly fainted.

      Talking of doors opening: Maybe I am wrong but I imagine you don’t like labyrinths? I don’t. I have to switch off all imagination whilst trying to find my way in hope that there is an exit. I remember a kid’s amusement park where there was a platform overlooking the maze. So if your darling or anyone else in your charge got lost you could give them directions. Oh dear. Yes. Am now lost in the maze of my memories. If this were a post I’d call it “Ariadne’. Now, she was a clever girl – but then who does carry string with them (long enough) at all times?


      Comment by bitchontheblog — February 24, 2013 @ 12:56 | Reply

      • My brother got his arm caught in a washing machine wringer—back in the day. Went right up to his shoulder. I’ll never forget. Now if I could just remember where I left ____ whatever, 5 minutes ago.

        Comment by bikehikebabe66 — February 24, 2013 @ 16:41 | Reply

        • Same here. Not that I have your excuse (yet). To be honest I think my absentmindedness as soon as I leave my desk or any room is just one hell of an excuse to indulge in what I have always liked: Making lists. I have lists of lists. And no, I am not obsessive compulsive. I am very relaxed. So relaxed what won’t be done today will make it onto tomorrow’s list.

          If my computer files are anything to go by I should just chuck the lot, get a new comp or PC and start again. Seriously, in search this morning I came across a graveyard of mega proportions. I am pretty sure I must have lost the plot some time between 2006 and 2009: Never ever have I seen such chaos. Remember: I am supposed to be Little Miss Organized. And I am. I am so organized that (and I have to admit to it) I will waste a lot of time PREPARING to get on with jobs instead of just getting on with them. Will post on this dreadful state of affairs separately – if only to give me an excuse not to do what needs to be done.

          So, what’s going to happen in your life in three week’s time, other than the inevitable big Zerio? I take it you can remember into the near future. Yesterday was my mother’s big day. By all accounts, just spoke to her, it was a great success. A few hours on she is experiencing that worst of all states: “Anticlimax”.


          Comment by bitchontheblog — February 24, 2013 @ 17:11 | Reply

          • I love to make lists. Husband-Tom added at the bottom, Make List.

            I won’t have a birthday cake on my big day. I don’t eat that anymore.
            I saw a man hobbling along on his cane. I said “Getting old is for the birds.” He said no, “It’s fun.” I decided I have the wrong attitude. I don’t have any problems. They’re challenges. His remark actually helped. Too bad I remember the past so well–how I USED to be.

            Comment by bikehikebabe66 — February 24, 2013 @ 17:45 | Reply

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