Bitch on the Blog

May 29, 2013

Too little too much

Filed under: Roadkill — bitchontheblog @ 12:54
Tags: , , ,

Sweethearts, let me fling myself at your collective bosom. One I am in intermittent, and sometimes dire, need of. Don’t get me wrong: All I do miss are my grandmother – who’d now be well over 115 if only she had continued to live – and the famous shoulder which steadfastly offers itself and would use more shamelessly if I allowed myself.

Yes, so today’s insight is that one does not MAKE enemies. Oh, no. An enemy will force himself upon you.

Will now go and fashion a wooden cross (iron being too heavy) Β laboriously hung with cloves of garlic (and parsley to take your breath away) to banish those with petty intent in no proportion to the crime not committed.

U

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10 Comments »

  1. “One I am in intermittent, and sometimes dire, need of.”

    Intermittent, agreed. Sometimes dire, agreed. But in need of what, though?

    Oddly enough, I would have thought you would accept nothing less than an Iron Cross. With oak leaves (but that would make it a Knight’s Cross)

    Perhaps that’s what you need, a knight in shining armour? Don’t look to me, my armour is well rusted, even if I could still climb into it.

    Comment by Tom — May 29, 2013 @ 14:24 | Reply

    • “In need of what”, my dear Tom? Well, let’s just say: It’s in short supply – unless, of course, I can take a masterclass in salesmanship at your academy. Shall bring calculator and lots of oil to burn the midlight candle.

      You are right about the Cross. You know me so well. Still, it’s easier to wield a wooden cross than an iron one. Unless I just want to lean against it.

      I am looking at you. Rusted or not. Worst comes to worst I’ll sell you for a good price to a scrap yard. You (if not Marcia) would be proud of me.

      Other than that please do look at my reply to the old Goth below. You’d love his website’s offering. By invitation only. The Angel not yet having vetted it as suitable for his mother I only take the occasional peek.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 3, 2013 @ 13:50 | Reply

  2. My gran was a peach too…. Strong, neurotic, ham armed and lovable

    Comment by finlaygrayJohn — May 29, 2013 @ 21:53 | Reply

    • Talking about peaches, John. I had NOT forgotten your birthday. In fact, at one point, when you said it’s in 26 hrs or some such I calculated it must be 1 June (and then checked your archive last June). So, I felt terribly superior to all those of your many friends/readers coming in with their best wishes as early as 30th May.

      Noticed over at Tom’s that the celebratory weekend didn’t quite live up to expectation. It does happen, John. Not that is any consolation. In my case, one of the most important birthdays of my life, the one I had looked forward to from I don’t know when, I mostly spent in a forlorn inner EMPTY city car park albeit open space and lots of fresh air, sitting on a bolder, wondering what’s what. I’d probably preferred to have someone to argue with like you. Hope all is rosy again on the homefront and that the hens do what hens do, mainly laying eggs and clucking.

      May the next twelve months ahead of you be happy ones, throw in the odd crisis not least – says she selfishly – to keep us entertained. As I have said to you before: When I go to your blog I feel I am coming home. I knew I’d made a good farmer’s wife. Alas.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 3, 2013 @ 14:02 | Reply

  3. To the enemy I simply say “fuggum” –

    Comment by Chuck McConvey — May 31, 2013 @ 11:51 | Reply

    • “Fuggum”? Shackman, I can keep it short in my posts but rarely when I comment.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 3, 2013 @ 14:04 | Reply

  4. can you be a bit more sparingly on the garlic next time,
    well it would help, oh and the cross too, I might let you
    add some chocolate pancakes and a few milkshakes πŸ™‚

    I am sat here on my white charger, I have a nice looking
    wickedly sharpened sword and I am raising my shield, oh
    yes and I am definitely ready to fight that ogre and dragon
    in or out of the cave:) lol

    Have a wicked rest of the
    weekend now and be good,
    just like me πŸ™‚

    Andro xxx

    Comment by Gray Dawster — June 2, 2013 @ 13:24 | Reply

    • Well, I shall be blown, if it’s not Goth of olden times. Good to see you (in print).

      Stop tormenting me by – as is your wont – wishing me wicked weekends. At the moment wicked is the last thing I need. Neither do I have a sweet tooth. And, with crosses to bear and practically flattening me, my castle’s doors are firmly bolted – unless you have a special visitor’s pass, and even then … to get to the inner sanctum is the devil’s own job. Mind you, one can’t get the staff these days. Why do you think I have resorted to employing garlic as a last defense? Garlic doesn’t expect to be paid. Just eaten. Double crossing bitch I am I do grow a lot of parsley and other evil weeds between the cracks of this pile of bricks – just in case I need to be fragrant at a minute’s notice. Please do point out to me, on arrival, not departure, should any greenery be stuck between my teeth. So rude not to.

      None of the above to stop you saddling your charger and take your chances.. However, stand by for the bridge round the ruins to be drawn.The well around it filled with the not so fragrant flotsam.

      The rest I leave to your fertile imagination. I you can’t be arsed I shall the think of the next instalment myself.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 3, 2013 @ 13:39 | Reply

      • For you Ursula I can always be arsed as you put it, and as for the greens between the teeth I shall watch out for that on my next visit (virtual but still around to watch over you my sweet friend) Now where are those dragons I need to slaughter? πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

        Have a wickedly delightful Tuesday Ursula πŸ™‚

        Andro xxxx

        Comment by Gray Dawster — June 4, 2013 @ 07:50 | Reply

  5. I am just calling in to wish
    you a happy weekend Ursula πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    Andro xxxx

    Comment by Gray Dawster — June 8, 2013 @ 14:14 | Reply


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