Bitch on the Blog

June 14, 2013

Open or shut

Filed under: Food — bitchontheblog @ 02:19
Tags: , ,

I won’t go all Swedish on you so will spare you description of the open sandwich. OH MY GOD. The open sandwich. Fond memories.

Let’s regroup: I do live in England. And in England sandwiches come enclosed. I have promised myself not to succumb to a very cheap observation, namely, that the longest running piece of theatre in London was not “The Mousetrap” but “No Sex please, we are British”. My then boyfriend – who later became FOS father-of-son and thus defied the latter title despite his parents best efforts to keep us in separate rooms when we were already in our Twenties and engaged – took me to both plays well before he proposed to me. It’s forward thinking. Particularly for an Englishman. If your soon to be and foreign bride does laugh at both those plays there might be a chance that she’ll make great cucumber sandwiches in many years to come.

And I do. Make great cucumber sandwiches. In the privacy of my own company – see above – I will eat them OPEN but when called upon by the likes of Glyndebourne I will close my case and shut it too.

Talking of cucumbers, and it is my one and most disgusting failing as the devoted parent I am: The only time I tried (emphasis on try) to force food on Apple of my Eye was cucumber. I do not know what came over me. Other than that I love cucumber. And since I love my son too the two seemed like a match made in sandwich heaven. Not so. Never ever have I regretted a deed of mine more than trying (emphasis on ‘trying’) to make someone do something they don’t want to do. My son is his mother’s child. So what possessed me I do not know. Anyway. He didn’t eat it. And some 17 years later cucumber still is a no no in this house. I only eat it when he is out and not to be expected back any time soon (he can sniff the whiff of cucumber half an hour later). If I were on crack it couldn’t be worse.




  1. Two things: The only food I thought I hated was eggplant because Mother made me sit in front of that ’til I ate it. She never tired that stunt again. 45 years later I found out it was delicious, especially with tomato & cheese sauce.

    Secondly: Our son Paul (& wife) just left after having cooked up a storm, everything too salty. He made a shredded cucumber & greek yoghurt dish. YUM YUM! Until I tasted it. And why Paul did you load that with salt too? He might have got his salt love from beef jerky we made for backpacking. Or the fermented vegetables he makes with salt. I make mine with a 15 enzyme capsule, no salt.

    Comment by bikehikebabe66 — June 14, 2013 @ 02:43 | Reply

    • Why did I call it fermented vegetables? It’s sauerkraut that we make.

      Comment by bikehikebabe66 — June 14, 2013 @ 02:57 | Reply

  2. I love cucumbers. I can eat them as is but I especially like cucumber salad made with cream and dill spitzen.

    It’s 4,30 in the morning here. I have woken up and once again, have given up trying to go back to sleep.

    Comment by Tomom Gowans — June 14, 2013 @ 03:34 | Reply

  3. Strange. When I was younger, I thought cucumbers were dull and bland. Now I love them.

    How we mature with age. Mind you, I could never get excited over cucumber sandwiches. I enjoy them in salad rolls with lots of coleslaw and other goodies like that. Tomatoes, ham, potato salad and the like. When I’m in Ireland. Which frankly isn’t often. Here in India, where I languish right now, cucumbers make a good side salad to curry. Cools you down, so to speak.

    Comment by Maria Perry Mohan — June 14, 2013 @ 14:59 | Reply

  4. I’ll pull out my best Joe Friday imitation and pronounce this an open and shut case! Just the facts, ma’am.

    Comment by The Old Fossil — June 18, 2013 @ 01:07 | Reply

  5. I love cucumber, I eat some every day. What’s not to like? Cucumber sandwiches have always been the stereotype snack for the well-to-do classes. Whether it’s true or a complete myth, I have no idea.

    Comment by nick — June 19, 2013 @ 21:17 | Reply

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