Bitch on the Blog

July 31, 2013

Bullish

Filed under: High Finance — bitchontheblog @ 14:17
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As put-downs go this is rather sweet:

“If someone offers you a penny for your thoughts …SELL”.

U

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July 30, 2013

Laboratory

Filed under: Ethics — bitchontheblog @ 12:18
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Sweethearts, you are not guinea pigs. At least not my guinea pigs. Or mice. Or whatever grows a third ear whilst on the treadmill.

However, questions need to be asked. So listen carefully.

U

July 29, 2013

Moi

Filed under: language — bitchontheblog @ 19:56
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Am on warpath. And you don’t know the half of it. Not even a smidgen.

To vent spleen, yes, at you, Hippo aka Tom in particular since you should know better: Will people stop being pretentious and use ‘me’ instead of ‘I’ when appropriate? Please. Otherwise may condemn you to learn the first page of Julius Caesar’s war (in Latin) by heart. And recite it in front of me and all the friends you thought you had and who will applaud you – at the end.

Want a lesson in grammar? Look no further.

To whom it may concern: Love you too. Don’t apply to be my sub.

U

Man’s man

Filed under: Communication — bitchontheblog @ 17:02
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HEALTH WARNING: THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK

Natural charmers are born, not made. That’s for sure. Hot tip of the day: If you are born a Y baby get yourself a mother you adore and, more importantly, one who adores you. From day one. It does help if you want to score rather than just catch a fish.

U

Prometheus

Filed under: Happiness — bitchontheblog @ 12:24
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There are many things which may be written on my gravestone. Not all of them good.

Here is one I’d be glad of: “She never gave up.” Let’s just forget for a moment that even my negotiating powers will not broker the final deal, ending in dust to dust and ashes to ashes.

I am in awe of myself on this one count: I never give up. I cannot tell you the number of times I have cursed myself for this particular trait. A dog with a bone has nothing on me. It is so quintessentially me it basically has my name tattooed on it. Exhausting. Yet exhilarating when yielding the desired result.

So upshot being: I found it. And am back to square one.

U

July 28, 2013

Active

Filed under: Communication — bitchontheblog @ 15:23
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Sunday afternoons do bring out the worst in people. Have just come across one of those baloney crap sayings. I know it’s my fault since, instead of reading other people’s crap, I should clear up my own backyard first (and I do, in my new found TWO minute increments – which, unfortunately, leave a lot of time to fill in between).

You can NOT beat this: “How to forgive the person you hate most.”

Honestly, I am going to blow my top over this. I don’t hate anyone. Not even the “most”. And what’s forgiving got to do with it? New Age psycho babble really needs to find a repair shop and get their curtains rewired.

First of all: Hate (like love) is a pretty extreme emotion – thus rarely encountered. Secondly, what annoys me about people preaching forgiveness is that it is so bloody self serving. Not once, whenever I stumble about this forgiveness nonsense, have I read that it’s about the OTHER person. OH, NO. It’s all about YOU, YOU, YOU. How ‘forgiving’ will make YOU feel better. Fuck off. Sorry about that. But that’s just what so called self help gurus boil down to: Making YOU feel better. How about making someone else feel better?

Thirdly: Please do engage brain and employ some logic: Maybe the person you hate the most is the very person you wish would forgive YOU for whatever your misdemeanour.

And shove that (oh so gracious) “forgiveness” back into your self righteous pocket. Talking to each other might be a start.

U

July 27, 2013

Post stress and in order

Filed under: Atmosphere — bitchontheblog @ 17:54
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I have never shot anyone, I have never witnessed carnage – that which has seen the suicide rate go up among young British soldiers having served in places like Afghanistan. So I really don’t have anything to compare.

A few years ago (those years I hint at occasionally) I lost a lot. For the sake of argument, let’s say the house burnt down. I was lucky in as much as my library still intact, all photos rescued. And much else. I am also lucky as I attach little heart to material possessions. Though a few I do. And most were saved. Which is great. However, and such does the human mind work: I miss some things by them not being there.

That last sentence is not as idiotic or self evident as it sounds.

What we have we have. What we don’t have we notice – and miss. Two examples, and please do not cry on my behalf, I am perfectly able to do so myself: A pestle and mortar (of huge emotional significance to me) and one of those retro multi coloured beachballs (of huge emotional significance to me). Their very absence pains me. Keeps that wound sore.

Long intro to a short upshot: Ever since a day in early 2009 I will go into slight panic whenever I mislay something. Or lose something. Heatbeat goes up. Stomach churns. Nausea will rise out of its pit. All good and well. Fight or flight. As nature intended. Except of course I am not faced with a tiger. I am faced with the Bermuda Triangle.

Which is why, dear children: There should be a place for everything, and everything in its place.

Now pass me the sick bag. Thank you.

U

Damage limitation

Filed under: Communication — bitchontheblog @ 12:02
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A woman I admire though find increasingly irritating comes up with this: “Your reputation is priceless. Don’t damage it.”

Sure. Couldn’t agree more. But what if OTHERS damage your reputation? Can you take needle and thread to it yourself? Or pay the going rate in the next repair shop? Or just live with the fallout?

Life is not a one way street. And sometimes a lorry takes the wrong turn. So always look both ways.

U

July 26, 2013

Vocation

Filed under: Human condition — bitchontheblog @ 11:42
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What’s your idea of the worst job ever?

Please don’t say “cleaning public toilets”. Toilets need to be cleaned. And those who do it should earn a fortune and be sainted.

For myself?

How can anyone volunteer to be a traffic warden? Speaking as a mother: Would you trouble yourself giving birth to a future traffic warden? No one likes the apple of your eye, that humourless bastard patrolling double yellow lines, dishing out fines.

Bailiff: How can anyone face other people’s misery on a daily basis? Speaking from one mother to another: WHO the hell ARE you – giving birth to a future bully, feared and loathed, never welcomed?

Defense lawyer if you know your client IS guilty. Equals sleepless nights.

Prosecutor when you know full well the defendant is NOT guilty. Equals sleepless conscience.

Yup. Those four just about sum up my idea of wage slave hell. Luckily coal mines are closed and I will not be draughted to kill.

U

July 25, 2013

Equation

Filed under: Communication — bitchontheblog @ 06:53
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How does one reconcile a long standing perception you have of a person with facets of their personality emerging you cannot blind yourself to?

U

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