Bitch on the Blog

August 2, 2013

Shredder

Filed under: Errors — bitchontheblog @ 20:16
Tags: , ,

Some decades ago my father, as he did and still does, explained something to me. In that particular case, and I was spell bound: The obsolescence factor. As can be observed by the most simple of examples: Tights and stockings. Technology as it is we (or at least Germans with the advantage of their Vorsprung durch Technik) should be able to produce hosiery which will last forever. Neither should tyres blow up, fridges give up the will to chill, vacuum cleaner giving up their ghost five minutes before your guests arrive. Toilets stop flushing five minutes after said guests have arrived. Alas, manufacturers, and plumbers too, do have to make a living. Hence putting their wares through the shredder before they hit the market. And where would American soldiers have been trying to get a leg over their very own Marlene Dietrich? More detail on this in triple copy application, if you please.

Yes. Obsolescence. Big sigh. I don’t hold it against machinery that it always wears out at the most inopportune moment. I will too. I can see it now: In the midst of life I shall die. Embarrassing myself for the last time.

U

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8 Comments »

  1. What better example for some thing that is obsolete than yours truly? But being obsolete has its advantages. I have found blogging, just as you have, not that you are obsolete yet, and that gives me the energy to remain current.

    “This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of Nature instead of a feverish selfish clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.” – Bernard Shaw.

    Philosophum non facit barba.

    Comment by Rummuser — August 4, 2013 @ 06:19 | Reply

    • Now, now, Ramana: Plenty of life in the old boy yet. So glad to hear that a beard is not required to philosophize. Otherwise I’d be facing a conundrum: What to choose? Beard or beauty? Although, as Shackman pointed out the other day, a beard does hide a multitude of sins (not least a sagging chin line). Not that I am saying that either yours or his is sagging. How would I know?

      Yes, good old Bernard Shaw. I don’t normally hold much store whether a book is a first edition or not, being more interested in content than binding. But have one written by him (1934). Was dead pleased when I won the auction. And couldn’t believe that I got it for a pittance. Thought there would be a bidding war. Not so. I shan’t get carried away on that particular line of thought. In many ways it’s good that books have become such a common commodity.

      I know it’s idiotic because, after all, the actual article (as opposed to its content) is just paper glued together. Yet, call it sentimental, I have such respect and gratitude for Gutenberg and his invention, to me print is almost holy. Which is why, and you may laugh at this point, it is a terrible condemnation on both author and book when I, rather than passing it on, will throw it away because I feel it a crime towards humanity if I let someone else, willingly, knowingly, read utter tosh. I’d make one hell of a book critic. In no more than one word: “Crap”. Doesn’t fill a column but then why would I wish to fill a column commenting on …., see above.

      Of course there are books which are perfectly good (say textbooks, manuals) yet their usefulness outlived because technology has moved on. Which is why they are, well, obsolete.

      Back to your quote: I most certainly don’t subscribe to becoming “a feverish selfish clod of ailments”. Though have noticed, among my elders, that even the least self-pitying will mention decay. Reflecting a perfectly normal anxiety. Though, say in case of my mother (80), who is so fit I keep forgetting how old she is, it’s more like she is astonished, surprised, how, as she puts it, her body is ageing when her heart and soul still so young. She is one of those wonderful people who find joy in the smallest thing, like a child does. Kept her innocence all her life. My father who doesn’t seem to age at all (was his 76th birthday 1 Aug) too is as fit as a fiddle. His brain doing its somersaults as ever. Just once, a few days ago, he mentioned that this year signifies the 13th anniversary since he was operated (cancer of the bladder). Such is my arrogance I never took it in. In fact I was in total denial that anything could possibly ever go wrong with my father. I just ignored the whole thing – awful, I know. Aided by being geographically a long way away I was not forced to face reality. And arrogance and denial No 2: I can say to everyone: “Told you he’d be alright, didn’t I.” He is an oxen. And, when the time comes, will be felled like a tree. Or so I hope.

      Yes, denial. Didn’t think of the example just given when I commented on your recent post. Look forward to your next instalment on the subject.

      You can tell, can’t you: It’s Sunday morning and I am at my most talkative.

      U

      PS Before I forget, Ramana, as to “the world will not devote itself to making you happy”: No, it most certainly will not devote itself to it, though some people might. I am happy to say I do not expect the world to make me happy but when it does it’s grand, and I do hope I have been and will be able to return and impart some of that happiness to others.

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 4, 2013 @ 08:51 | Reply

      • I cannot forgive you for not letting me have the pleasure of teasing you about the denial. As I read it, I had my aha moment and said to myself “Gotcha!”.

        Has it occurred to you that I am just six years shy of your father’s age? Grown ups have stopped calling me uncle and instead call me grand father! I can relate to both your parents for I have not let replaced spare parts embedded in my body stop me from having a ball. I have simply redefined what having a ball means. Clever what?

        Don’t sell yourself short. It does not have to be a Sunday morning for you to be at your talkative best, unless of course you are practicing to become an Anglican priest.

        Comment by Rummuser — August 4, 2013 @ 11:17 | Reply

  2. The man in the white suit. 1951, Inventor invents fabric that never gets dirty or wears out. hell breaks out.
    Strangely enough I was born in 1952. Could have lived for ever. Not sure about that logic.

    Comment by liz — August 5, 2013 @ 16:54 | Reply

    • Liz, hi. Hope you are not talking about nylon. It’s vile when the weather is hot.

      As to your ‘logic’. You have beaten me to being opaque. !952 is good I am sure. Was it a vintage year? You may indeed live forever. Genie in a bottle. Ask my wine merchant. It’s amazing: There you are with not a clue what to give as a birthday present when you think, yeah, that’s it: Buy a bottle. Of the vintage. Only to be told: “Sorry, Lady, bad year. No doing.” Good. Excellent. Try and tell that to the birthday child. Not that I would or ever have. Worse: It was a vintage year and you are screwed.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 8, 2013 @ 21:36 | Reply

  3. Wow what a fascinating reply that was to rummuser, I am in awe of your wickedness, especially about the beard. Notice I didn’t add a lol or a happy smiling face at the end of that one, I remembered. So by dear BOTB how are you getting along without my regular input? How do you mean I wasn’t missed, well thanks a lot for that one. I was hoping that you might call in sometime, you know perhaps offer something on one of my scripts or invite the Zombies and Moi round for lunch, something like that.

    By the way I like my steak well done and if you were thinking of serving me with a naughty smile then that is acceptable too, well I only said. Right I will hop, skip and jump my way back to my realm before you say something wicked, of course I never do that as I am far too innocent but I will let you off this time. Have a very happy rest of Monday evening and a wonderful Tuesday with all the trimmings of delight attached, nothing too naughty though or else? Oh and remember, be good, like me…

    Andro xxxx

    Comment by Gray Dawster — August 5, 2013 @ 20:35 | Reply

    • Hello, just me again 🙂

      Andro xxxx

      Comment by Gray Dawster — August 8, 2013 @ 07:49 | Reply

    • Sorry, Andro, when I am not running I am lagging. I am eternally grateful – and have noticed – that you have taken note of the whip and not decorate your posts with smileys any longer. I wish more people would understand that I am the best judge of what makes me smile and what doesn’t. If only people knew who and what makes me laugh out loud. They’d never talk to me again.

      My apologies that I am so tardy getting round to your blog. Maybe I am anemic. What with all the blood sucking going on in your average Miss Marple.

      You like your steak well done? Quelle surprise. Excuse my French. I had you down dripping.

      I am always “good” … as good as my last spouting.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 8, 2013 @ 17:46 | Reply


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