Bitch on the Blog

September 25, 2013

Picking apart at the seams – 2

Filed under: Errors — bitchontheblog @ 10:32
Tags: , , , , ,

Another question “What is your greatest accomplishment” aforementioned blogger answers with:

“My daughter. She is a happy, healthy, intelligent and creative young lady.”

How can one’s child be a personal ‘accomplishment’? A success story? Sure, credit where it’s due when a parent provides fertile soil for their offspring. Let me turn up the volume: What of genes? What of what’s bred in the bone? Immutable.  I wonder what the writer’s answer as to her greatest accomplishment would have been if her daughter had turned out not so much a medal to stick to her mother’s lapel.

Let me ask this blogger another question, not that she will answer it: “What is your greatest failure in life – so far?” Do you want me to write down your oh so predictable answer? No, thought not. There are no failures. You didn’t drop a stitch once.




  1. Well, I guess successful parenting is something to be pleased about, though as you say a person’s character is not due to parenting alone but also to what’s there all along. But I’d also add that however well your children turn out, nurturing your own self is always the most important thing.

    Comment by nick — September 25, 2013 @ 11:59 | Reply

    • Difficult subject, Nick. What’s “successful parenting”? When your kid doesn’t end up in a cell without a window and only a rat or a spider for company? Nah.

      Let’s just say I think some people are too quick to take credit where little is theirs; usually the same who will disown their children when they don’t “turn out well”. Pass me the sick bucket.

      I will concede that I am lucky. The Angel made being his mother dead easy for me. We gelled. Even when we don’t gel we gel. The most extraordinary relationship I have had in my life. Certainly the one that makes me the happiest. And therefore has potential to make me very unhappy indeed should anything bad ever happen to him. Which is why I cannot quite agree with your statement that ‘nurturing your own self is always the most important thing”. It isn’t. On the other hand, and then you are right: If ‘nurturing my own self’ means being there for my son (whenever he needs me – not the other way round), not letting him down, then yes.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 25, 2013 @ 13:23 | Reply

  2. I think it’s probably the way you read the question
    Most people my associate achievement with something they are proud of
    Oh Ursula
    You are a hard marker x

    Comment by finlaygrayJohn — September 25, 2013 @ 13:46 | Reply

    • Oh, John. Yes, I am ‘a hard marker’. A soft touch at the same time. Not that that softens the initial blow.

      If there is one thing I don’t and do like about myself at the same time that I rarely will let anything slip, or when I do I’ll be choking on it in the privacy of my own oesophagus. Which is why I know what I’ll be dying of when the time comes. Congestion.

      Of course you are right, and do I begrudge people ‘associating achievement with something they are proud of”? No. But, and I am repeating myself: By the same token I don’t particularly respect people who DIS-associate themselves from that which they have NO reason to be proud of. Suddenly nothing to do with them. Coin, same side … you will know what I mean.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 25, 2013 @ 14:12 | Reply

  3. I would again seek the context. In most of these questionnaires, there is a theme. What is it for these series?

    If I were to be asked that question, I would say that my greatest accomplishment is that I have hit the proverbial three score and ten.

    Comment by Rummuser — September 25, 2013 @ 14:00 | Reply

    • My dear Ramana, the only theme for this series is a case of mild annoyance with sentiments of a blogger you yourself have fond allegiances to. Not, of course, that being fond of someone makes them exempt from benign criticism.

      Interesting you should feel your age an ‘accomplishment’. I mainly attribute the fact I am still alive to strong genes, the heart of an oxen, the liver a marathon runner, my kidneys doing what kidneys do. Should there be a blood clot in the making it’s very considerate in only slowly inching its way up to my poor brain which is trying to keep everything under control. My blood pressure knows how to lie low, and my cortisol levels are under strict instruction to tunnel under rather than erupt. I only mention cortisol because my mother’s are hitting the roof. Odd.

      I don’t count the fact I haven’t kissed a lorry or a tree yet, haven’t slipped under an anaesthetist’s radar as an achievement. It’s luck. Pure luck.

      So, lucky you. Well done. Long may it last.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 26, 2013 @ 01:14 | Reply

  4. My answer for the second question about the greatest failure in my life would also be the same as for the success!

    Comment by Rummuser — September 25, 2013 @ 14:03 | Reply

  5. Wow, you really do live up to your blog handle don’t you Ursula? You have no idea what my mother did for me over the years, how she sacrificed, scrimped and saved to ensure I had the best in life and encouraged me every step of the way. She was never given chances by her own family, so she worked hard to ensure that I had every chance. I was the first in my father’s family to go to university, and when my father died when I was there, my mother was there every step of the way to support me. Maybe she did indeed “get lucky” that I didn’t turn into a career criminal or someone to be disappointed in, but if you ask me, the value system and morals she instilled in me and the chances she gave me are what has made me into the person I am today.

    It’s a shame that your own life isn’t interesting enough for you, that you seem to find it necessary to comment on hers so often. As we young ones would say “get a life!”

    Comment by Elly Parker — September 26, 2013 @ 20:22 | Reply

    • Elly, calm down. I never said that your mother didn’t do whatever she could for you. It’s what (most) mothers do. Ask my son. No. Actually, don’t ask him. What I did/do for him is self understood. No need for him to be grateful. Neither do I boast. He is who he is. As are you.

      Let me give you a piece of advice with regards to your second paragraph: Don’t make assumptions. And don’t insult. So immature.

      When I first joined your mother’s blogging circle she did not see eye to eye with me. In fact she turned nasty behind my back. That’s ok. Shit happens. Misunderstandings happen. However, I do like your mother. Which is why I kept trying and trying and trying to win her back. No mean feat. Yet, even those we like are not beyond criticism. I took the subject to my own blog rather than your mother’s comment box.

      ‘Pride’ I have strong views about. It often comes before the fall. Talk to the stumbling expert.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 26, 2013 @ 21:06 | Reply

  6. Ursula, misunderstandings do happen. You seem to be under the mistaken impressions that you can “win her back”, but I sincerely doubt that this will happen while you continue to post bitchy comments about her here and on her blog. That and the fact that you seem to love to criticise many of her posts. If you don’t like what she writes, then you can simply not read her posts / comments and stay out of her life. I think that might make her happy – want to give it a try? Might even put a smile on my face too.

    And as for my insult? It’s just as immature as your inane ramblings. And it wasn’t an “assumption”, but based on everything I have seen you write over the years. What is it? Are you jealous of her? Want to be her? Never a hope of that happening! Either that or actually grow a set of balls and call her by name instead…

    Comment by ellybabes — September 27, 2013 @ 09:37 | Reply

    • Elly, if I were you I wouldn’t take our discussion below the belt. It might hurt. It will hurt. You.

      Let’s start at the end: You ask me to “grow a set of balls and call her by name instead”. Interesting. Let’s leave aside that no one needs balls to say anything. Please do remember, your mother is the woman who – after foul mouthing me (behind my back) – called me “THAT woman”. I sure didn’t have a name then. Sweet. Anyway, as far as my “unpicking at the seams” went there was no need to call her by her real name. I was making a point – a general point since her sentiment is shared by many. Not by me.

      As an aside, and you won’t like me for it: How very amusing that you have been following my blog. Your mother assured me that she, most certainly, doesn’t. I tend to believe people. Oh, well … On the other hand she had the grace to eventually allow me back in her comment box. If you are fair you will have noticed that – on the whole – I am complimentary to her. Believe it or not: Your mother has taught me something. A valuable lesson taken on board. And – I am repeating myself: I like her. I do. No shit.

      What else do you come up with: “Jealous of her.” My dear sweet Elly, with a daughter like you? Who pulls the age card. How old are you, come to think of it: Early/mid thirties? Time to grow up. My son is 22 today. He has enough of a brain on his shoulders that he’d ask me (if he knew about this exchange) why on earth I engage with you. That’s my affair. I engage with people. Even those one can’t help wondering about. Let’s call it mutual interest. A bit like monkeys scratching each other, picking nits and flees.

      So, in your judgment, what I have to say are “immature inane ramblings”. Thanks. I do like intelligent feedback. You are miles ahead of me.

      You say that it would make your mother happy if I “stayed out of her life”. That it’ll put a smile on your face. Would I deny anyone such a simple pleasure?


      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 27, 2013 @ 10:24 | Reply

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