Bitch on the Blog

October 14, 2013

Rose tinted

Filed under: Human condition — bitchontheblog @ 21:59
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

I don’t like reflecting on ‘lying’.  Not least because I have an uncanny knack of knowing when someone does lie. An instinct not enviable. In fact, it’s downright inconvenient.

I am not about to mount a high horse. Lie if you must. And sometimes we must lie.

On the whole, I don’t lie. Not because I don’t want to, but because I can’t. Also, on a practical note: Lie now, repent later is not my idea of meandering through life.

Do do white lies. That’s why they are called ‘white’. White lies, like politeness, smooth social intercourse. Just don’t lay it on thickly. Hot tip of the day: If and when need to white-lie arises don’t pile explanations and excuses on top of your pile of guilt. It won’t stick. Simple does it every time.

Blatant lies are to be avoided. And if you do feel you have no choice to save your bacon write down your narrative, learn it by heart, then shred your draft. Whatever you do, don’t try and flush it down the toilet. It won’t sink.

Where liars go wrong is that they will – invariably – waver. They forget their own narrative. Which is why crime does not pay. You may think you’ll hold your nerve. And you will. For a while. Beware the one – that’s me – who will outfox you. I have nailed people more than once in my life. It didn’t hold any pleasure for me to be clever. In fact to be clever at outing a liar is painful. Not so much on your own behalf as that of the liar. Who wants to see someone squirm, grasp at straws, fabricating justifications out of thin air?

Do I ever lie? For the benefit of others – yes. And have no qualms whatsoever about it. For myself? No. The closest I have come, and you decide whether it’s morally questionable, though most certainly defensible: ‘Omitting’ detail. Think about it: Omission. How cute is that?

U

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13 Comments »

  1. You are in great company. Or would be if you were an Indian. In our epic Mahabaratha, there is a story about Drona – http://devdutt.com/articles/mahabharata/an-elephant-called-ashwatthama.html, God, in the form of Krishna abets in this deception and justifies it by saying that the ends, victory of virtue over sin is the end. This epic is a fascinating account of all that is good and all that is evil in man. It does not take a moral stand and simply describes what was true in that time which juxtaposed to today, is as valid a comment on wo/man. The last paragraph in that article by Patnaik says is beautifully. “Mahabharata thus teaches us there is more to life than meets the eye. Yes, rules were broken in the Mahabharata war. An elephant, not a man, called Ashwatthama was killed. But why should we uphold rules when they prop up a society where actions are based on power not love, where the motivation is anger not affection?” A small detail?

    Comment by Rummuser — October 15, 2013 @ 01:43 | Reply

    • You and your parable are digging deep, Ramana.

      There is indeed ‘more to life than meets the eye’. Which is why we should be more forgiving even when our innards are turned inside out.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — October 15, 2013 @ 22:33 | Reply

  2. There are white lies, and there are blatant lies, both intended to deceive others with increasing degree. And then there is rationalization, whose purpose tends to bring the deception not only to others, but to ourselves as well…

    I wonder, is this a general topic thrown out there for purposes of discussion, or is something or someone troubling you? Just curious.

    Comment by Phil — October 15, 2013 @ 02:52 | Reply

    • Yes, Phil, how very astute: ‘Rationalization’. Riding to the rescue of both the lied to and the liar.

      Can’t concentrate this minute. Am in grip of a composer … one of the most accomplished and charming (liars?) who lived barely past his mid thirties. Pauper’s grave and all that.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — October 15, 2013 @ 22:28 | Reply

  3. A proper lie must be constructed entirely of true statements. Only an amateur need resort to falsehoods in order to deceive.

    Comment by Looney — October 15, 2013 @ 03:46 | Reply

    • If only we’d all trained as engineers we’d be accomplished liars.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — October 15, 2013 @ 22:19 | Reply

  4. Ah, but sinning by omission is still sinning.

    I am incapable of lying to myself, although I might have a stab at lying – in a small way – to you.Sometimes I catch myself telling a lie before I’ve even found a reason for it and feel really stupid as a result. I tend to avoid people I’ve lied to, there’s no way i could keep it up.

    Comment by friko — October 15, 2013 @ 16:11 | Reply

    • I agree with you, Friko, to some extent. Omission may, may – but not necessarily, amount to a lie. The big difference being that if someone asks me or I ask someone a direct question and then being lied to (deliberately) that puts lying – for me – on a completely different plain. Let’s call it the difference between murder (premeditated) and manslaughter (accident). Obviously, both times the victim as dead as a dodo but at least the motivation was noble or not. Tying myself into knots here. At least I – if no one else – know what I mean.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — October 15, 2013 @ 22:11 | Reply

  5. I admit I lie regularly to avoid offending someone or embarrassing myself or getting myself into a huge heap of trouble. Why be scrupulously honest if you know the result will only be unpleasant or upsetting? I’m also often guilty of the sin of omission, for very similar reasons. And because there are aspects of my personality I don’t wish to reveal to other people. I find it hard to believe people who say they never lie.

    Comment by nick — October 15, 2013 @ 21:10 | Reply

    • Kudos for being honest, Nick. However, would I trust you? Really trust you? Don’t think so. I like sincerity in people. And ‘lying’ with a small ‘l’ for the sake of avoiding discord goes against my grain. A piece of slippery soap in bath water comes to mind. No wonder I prefer showers.

      U

      Comment by Ursula — October 15, 2013 @ 22:16 | Reply

      • Well, you could trust me with anything important. Like paying a debt or doing my job efficiently or driving you safely from A to B. The sort of lies I tell are fairly trivial in the grand scheme of things.

        Comment by nick — October 16, 2013 @ 13:05 | Reply

      • Slippery soap in the tub can be fun,
        especially when there are more than one bather.

        I was going to add a wink there but no, I refrained.

        Andro xxxx

        Comment by Gray Dawster — October 22, 2013 @ 08:58 | Reply

  6. I totally agree with you, white lies are acceptable whereas downright
    blatant whoppers are not, it is a matter of being, and I don’t like liars either.

    Have a sweet Tuesday Ursula.

    Andro xxxx

    Comment by Gray Dawster — October 22, 2013 @ 08:56 | Reply


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