Bitch on the Blog

October 18, 2013

Bottomless pit

Filed under: Human condition — bitchontheblog @ 18:33

Some of you know, at cost, that I have a thing about pride. I am a very proud person. But I do not pride myself on anything bred in the bone. As a lot of people do. Sorry, Sweethearts, whether it’s yourself or your offspring – a lot of what you pride yourselves on has nothing, nada, zilch, to do with merit. It’s just who you are. End of story. So stop preening yourselves.

This lamentable superfluous  first paragraph was brought on by an email I came across earlier today sent from me to GG (gay guy), and a long time ago. A response never received.

“Just one point – and will you please, just for once, acknowledge that even a straight person (that’s me) is trying to understand: Why, oh why oh why (have forgotten his name now) would anyone declare himself (on your blog) as “proud” to be gay? Why? The whole thing is a mystery to me. I don’t declare myself ‘proud’ to be heterosexual. I just am hetero. Nothing to do with me. How can any of us – and please do give this some thought – be ‘proud’ of something we have no control over?”

Yup. And that’s about it. Think about it, gay guys and guyesses. Don’t fucking take the moral high ground with people like me.




  1. Difficult subject on it’s own is pride….. both you and I exhibit pride in our offspring and to varying degrees in our ancestral roots…..butcouple it with sexuality or race and it can be a bird’s eye chilli hot topic, or even hotter.
    I deliberately mentioned race because I have acquaintances of black African ancestry who exhibit and announce a similar degree of pride in their blackness. I put it down to a need to counteract the social exclusion …… is that a suitable word?…. of people “of colour”. Perhaps this is why homo-sexuals and people of other sexual groups have appropriated the word “Pride”?
    Anyway, it’s all to do with politics, like most else in life it seems.

    Comment by magpie11 — October 18, 2013 @ 18:54 | Reply

    • Take your point, Magpie. Maybe all semantics on my part. However, we do have to be careful how we use language. If we equate, as I do, ‘pride’ with dignity then, yes, maybe, one could let it stand.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 20, 2013 @ 09:59 | Reply

      • Certainly that definition is more “acceptable” than the “self satisfaction in one’s acheivements” one.
        Having worked in Soho youngest made me aware of the use of the word alone to mean Gay Pride (note capitalisation) he would have to prepare the shop for “Pride” aka the Gay Pride Festival……

        Comment by magpie11 — October 20, 2013 @ 10:25 | Reply

  2. Am I proud and gay… Yes
    Am I proud to be gay….no more than you are proud to be straight

    Comment by fjohn — October 18, 2013 @ 19:08 | Reply

    • I was hoping you’d reply, John. In the way you did. You never disappoint.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 20, 2013 @ 09:57 | Reply

  3. Be proud of who you are. Also be true to who you are 🙂

    Comment by 1digitalfingerprint — October 18, 2013 @ 19:16 | Reply

    • Gerald, hi. I most certainly am true to the best bits of who I am. The bad bits I leave floundering, neglected in a corner, till they go all mouldy, to then dispose of them as gently as I can without giving offence. Bad bits have feelings too. In fact, they are like spiders. You think you’ve flushed one down the drain to only see – half an hour later – a little leg waving at you through the plughole dragging its body behind. Breaks my heart. Ok, here is your second chance. I’ll pop you outside. Just don’t come back. (This only works with spiders, not with those parts of us which could do with a little chiselling round the edges. The latter firmly to be taken a hacksaw to. Or squashed.)


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 20, 2013 @ 10:48 | Reply

  4. It’s a bit odd to be proud of being something you can’t help anyway.

    No reason to be ashamed of it either.

    Comment by Maria — October 18, 2013 @ 19:17 | Reply

    • Indeed, Maria. We live in enlightened times – still a little dim but getting brighter.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 20, 2013 @ 10:01 | Reply

  5. There’s a very simple explanation, Ursula. For a very long time gays were made to be ashamed of being gay, so it was a deliberate decision in the early days of gay liberation to tell people they were proud to be gay and thus defy the bigots. In other words it’s a reaction to people taking the moral high ground with THEM. But I agree with you that in reality it’s just what you are and no more a matter of pride than being straight.

    Comment by nick — October 18, 2013 @ 20:34 | Reply

    • Nick, I would no more defend what you call a ‘bigot’ than someone burning books. Both cardinal sins in my book. However, despite immense progress in many spheres, the human mind works on the slow motion of evolution. In other words: To cut through the crap takes time.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 20, 2013 @ 10:04 | Reply

  6. Okay. I am a man of loose morals anyway.

    Comment by Rummuser — October 19, 2013 @ 01:11 | Reply

  7. I’m with you on this. Don’t understand the pride business. Maybe it’s my Cacklick upbringing where pride was a mortal sin. And one of the seven deadlies if I’m not mistaken.

    Proud to be a woman? What’s pride got to do with it?


    Comment by wisewebwoman — October 19, 2013 @ 05:45 | Reply

    • Thanks, WWW. I haven’t had a religious upbringing though am aware (very much so) of the Bible’s teachings. I do not believe pride to be a sin. However, the last few years have proven to me that, as the Bible says, pride will come before the fall. In my case – literally. I had to learn how to take a helping hand instead of always believing I can do all and everything by myself, on my own strength. Good lesson. One I could have done without. Though will concede that, maybe, just maybe, there was some reasoning behind what fate dished out. Not least that I watch more carefully where I put my foot.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 20, 2013 @ 10:11 | Reply

  8. I think Nick touched on the most plausible rationale for the proclamation of pride. It seems to me a direct reaction and response to centuries of bigoted humiliation and shame heaped upon gays in general. Pride and shame can be useful motivators in the issue of “self-help”, a topic I know you love so much dear Ursula, but quite frankly too much of either is a distortion of reality, impeding growth.

    I’m reminded of a quote: The graveyards are full of people the world could not do without. (Elbert Hubbard, 1907)

    And yet here we all are somehow doing without these indispensable souls. Is that something we should be proud of or ashamed of?

    Comment by Phil — October 19, 2013 @ 14:05 | Reply

    • Interesting quote, Phil. So very true. However, just for once, your question falls flat. We are NOT “somehow doing without these indispensable souls”. Not at all. Our graveyards are full of people we can’t do without. You, with your love of music, and anyone with a love of anything know that our graveyards are peopled by all those who left us their immense legacy – whether in their art, thought, emotion, some in their evil, and some, unnoticed for posterity, by just being around for a while.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 20, 2013 @ 10:27 | Reply

      • Have you ever thought of changing your
        blog name to gorgeousbitchontheblog?

        It’s okay. I just wondered.

        Andro xxxx

        Comment by Gray Dawster — October 22, 2013 @ 08:53 | Reply

  9. Heck fire, after alcoholism, chronic fatigue, migraines, brain surgery, seven miscarriages, a blindlingly painful and long labor, back surgery, a permanent foot flop, a failed marriage, premature retirement, and 24-7 dizzy blondness, I’m proud to be able to type this while not slobbering over the keyboard. Did I go off topic…again? 😉

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — October 21, 2013 @ 17:31 | Reply

    • SEVEN miscarriages, Lorna? Bloody hell. That’s ambitious by anyone’s stretch of imagination. The only consolation that your son remained an only. A state of affairs I highly recommend.

      Considering the rest of your back catalogue: I knew it I knew it I knew it – I haven’t seen anything yet. And probably won’t.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 21, 2013 @ 17:57 | Reply

      • And just wait, I have more to tell you all about. I was sure that my memoir would be my only memoir, but I think I have another one in the making. Yes. Another freaking adventure has befallen me…

        Comment by Lorna's Voice — October 24, 2013 @ 20:05 | Reply

  10. Nicely said. And another thing, how come I never receive
    any emails from you? I was tempted to add a smiley there.

    Have a delicious Tuesday Ursula.

    Andro xxxx

    Comment by Gray Dawster — October 22, 2013 @ 08:49 | Reply

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