Bitch on the Blog

January 1, 2014

Roaring trade

Filed under: Amusement — bitchontheblog @ 02:12
Tags: , ,

I knew it: 2013 would die with a bang. Having gone the way of snooze at the godly hour of eleven fire works woke me at midnight sharp. You have to hand it to the English: It might be raining assorted animals but somehow they will defeat moisture and get fireworks blasting merrily.

Other than that, and I am in prime position on my vantage point (desk running along windowsill in my room with a view) I know I have missed a trick tonight: Taxi drivers must be raking it in. Unfortunately, like prostitution, driving taxis at night takes nerve. I have nerve, I even have muscle, more to the point I do have presence of mind. What I don’t have are eyes in the back of my head. And that is the one thing I find unsettling when contemplating to take up driving unknown quantities from A to B: Your passengers being BEHIND you. Not that I live in New York. Dear dog in heaven. Perish the thought.

I love taxis. I love taxi drivers. The talkative ones. They are mines of information. Currently not able to afford taxis, walking everywhere instead, I will – occasionally – lean into waiting taxis and have a chat. One reminded me doing that I look like a hooker on the prowl. It’s what I like about men: They will tell you – freely – what they wouldn’t like their wives and daughters (and myself) to be doing. And I do take their advice. Even my son who – surely – does think me invincible can’t stand the idea of me being out and about when fog settles densely. Have I ever come to harm? No. And I don’t endeavour to do so now.

Happy New Year, Sweethearts. Beware the offspring of the by now wilted Hound of Baskerville and don’t get lost in the Moors.


PS First, not yet implemented, resolution of the year: I will become my own editor and bleach my prose as I do – mercilessly – that of others.


  1. Hand it to the English? You have got to see what my fellow countryman do with fireworks and crackers. Enough to wake up the dead.

    I love being driven around, whether it is in a taxi or in my own car by a chauffeur. It now makes sense to me as to why they feel miserable. Not having eyes in the back of their heads! Some of them adjust the rear view mirror to show what the passengers are up to in the back, and I gently point out to them that the purpose of the mirror is different and get them to readjust the same.

    Happy new year to you too.

    Comment by rummuser — January 1, 2014 @ 06:42 | Reply

    • My dear Ramana, everything is “handed to the English”. How do you think the Empire came about?


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 2, 2014 @ 09:55 | Reply

  2. I was also going to point out the rear view mirror….

    I’d hate to be a cabbie. You must so often be at the mercy of whoever is sitting in your cab, and the only sanction you have is to throw them out. But I’ve had some great convos with cabbies. Northern Irish cabbies are usually very chatty and ready to share opinions on every conceivable subject.

    Comment by nick — January 1, 2014 @ 10:34 | Reply

    • Oh, Nick, your reply is so you. Will there ever be a time, or at least an occasion, when you don’t dislike your fellow human beings? Naturally, can’t say I’d blame you, you might consort with a surprise.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 2, 2014 @ 09:53 | Reply

  3. Had to saty up for the fireworks to comfort scaredy cat…no easy task… you’d think that at the age of 84 she’d be used to it by now.
    As for cab drivers: London Cabs now have (it seems) portcullises and drawbridges but licensed car drivers are the vulnerable ones…
    Everything else aside, all the best for 2014…. as the lovely lady from Yalumba wrote (on a wine carrier) “May the most that you hope for be the least that you get.”

    Comment by magpie11 — January 1, 2014 @ 11:29 | Reply

    • Dear Magpie, I like the hopeless “May the most that you hope for be the least you get”.

      Lucky me who tends to set her sights higher than is my station and optimism permits.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 2, 2014 @ 09:58 | Reply

      • Grannie used to quote some American whose name escapes me as I write :Not failure but low aim is crime.

        Darn, I should remember:

        Talking of mottoes…which we weren’t really….hs is my favourite:
        “Quidvis Recte Factum Quamvis Humile Praeclarum!”

        Comment by magpie11 — January 2, 2014 @ 22:48 | Reply

  4. Since you don’t have eyes on the back of your head, I’ll sneak up behind you to give you a stealth hug and wish for a Happy New Year. No fireworks will come of that, I assume.

    As to fireworks, I no longer live in the heart of the city as I once did, so I watched all those youngsters on the television crowding about seeing if I could pick out my own kids in the mix. That and a few miscellaneous spirited booms from the local neighbors who enjoy setting off a bunch of fireworks in their back yard to get the neighborhood dogs into a good frenzy.

    I had to chuckle at your description of leaning into the window to have an innocent chat with a cabbie, appearing to be soliciting a little bit more than just advice. You do seem to have a gift for innocent actions being misunderstood…

    My wish for you in 2014 is about change. May the world about you change and bend to your liking without any requiring any changes at all in you – the Ursula we all come to see and interact with here in your universe. Be well and be happy.

    Comment by Phil — January 1, 2014 @ 14:32 | Reply

    • As usual you take up more time than other customers to crank up any left overs of my wit still lurking in the last century. Let me tend to my daily ablutions and other tasks before the fish has fled my net. After which I’ll be all yours.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 2, 2014 @ 10:04 | Reply

  5. I will be hugging you too ‘Y’
    How do you mean WHY? Well
    because you are a sweet and
    lovely friend and I want to…

    Happy New Year 2014

    Andro xxxx

    Comment by Gray Dawster — January 2, 2014 @ 10:08 | Reply

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