Bitch on the Blog

January 31, 2014


Filed under: Amusement — bitchontheblog @ 11:53

Sweethearts, all of you, thank you so much for your answers to my question. Not least because I didn’t expect any [answers].

First prize in category of actually understanding it goes to John and Russell Crowe. United in some piss up.

First prize in category of intellectual and philosophical substance goes to Ramana. Freedom. Yes, Ramana. Freedom. And not having to ask for it. Dreamy.

The rest of you may go home with a consolation prize, lick your wounds and come back for more later.

Why? Because you answered, varyingly, with ‘true friendship’ (yes, Old Foss, the holy grail, one of the biggest gifts to bestow and be bestowed with by good fortune), ‘love and affection’ (Nick, Magpie). Whilst your answers touching there is a tiny flaw considering my original question: Who we feel love and affection for (and vice versa) is out of our hands. No one can ask for an emotion.

Unless you are a dog. Dogs are good that way. The dog is not yours. You don’t even like it. Yet they have a way of looking at you (asking for it) you give in. Ok, then. I’ll stroke you (hope you haven’t got any fleas – for some reason dog and cat fleas like me, an affection not reciprocated), I’ll give you a bone. Anything else? Right. Excellent. Let’s go for a walk. Anything for a bit of peace and quiet. Just don’t lick me out of sheer gratitude. Or I’ll set the cat on you.

If I told you which thought brought on yesterday’s question you’d pity me (I’d rather you didn’t) or bury me under an avalanche of … Which is very sweet of all of you. But please don’t trouble yourselves.

Hugs and hisses,




  1. Err! Sorry but it s our nature to demand love (let alone ask for it). If love is then offered or given with out any demand or expectation then it is indeed a gift. If it were hate that was given unasked then one would not appreciate it in any way….. It’s a moot point as to whether dogs actually do love or are aware of love.

    Comment by magpie11 — January 31, 2014 @ 13:09 | Reply

    • Leaving dogs aside, Magpie, you cannot ASK for affection. What I was trying to convey: We do not have control over emotions. Sure, it’s tragedy if, say for sake of argument, you are born to parents who then don’t return that which all children can reasonably expect: Love, care, tenderness etc.

      I bark at your turn of phrase “demand love”. Demand? How can one ‘demand’ affection? Either a bond is there or it isn’t. At risk of repeating myself: We are not masters of our emotions. A bit like when we go to the doctor and he tests our reflexes. Whether our knee jerks or not is out of our control.

      As to hate: Same applies. However, difference to love being that the fallout of hate we best, and should, keep under rational control (ie not acting on it). Tell that to Shakespeare et al.


      Comment by Ursula — January 31, 2014 @ 13:30 | Reply

      • Ah. The complxities of language: Demand: To claim as due…. something that we humans do so well… whether we like it or no we do claim love as our due.Unconciously, unknowingly perhaps but inour nature we claim love as our due.
        I do not conflate love and affection.
        As for bonds, bilt on love or any other foundation: thay can , and do, grow. In my own world one sees it all the time with Classes of children thrown together eith each other in school and each year with new teachers. Often the bond that grows is one of love, no other word for it, more often purely affection (if indeed we can separate the two). I’m glad that the term passion did not come into this.

        If we go back to your original phrase:

        What would you like and appreciate to be given without asking for it?

        One thing I do not ask for is love (yet my whole being demands it). When , from time to time I have received love of another then I have most certainly appreciated it. Never actually ask for it.

        Mm! It’s weird but I do balk at the declarations of love that one rceives from time to time from people one has never met via the internmet… Perhaps we bandy the word around a bit too much.

        Throughout this I have had Carson McCullers in mind….for the life of me I cannot think why…. no doubt it will come to me.

        Love (and peace) to all.

        Comment by magpie11 — February 2, 2014 @ 11:51 | Reply

  2. Love so often gets mixed up with approval. Approval is a fickle mistress/master. One might well ask what is love? One can’t demand it. Love has come to me unheralded, not making demands on me to return it. I can feel undeserving of it but have learned to embrace this unmerited gift.


    Comment by wisewebwoman — January 31, 2014 @ 16:17 | Reply

    • Interesting, WWW, you mention merit: “Love getting mixed up with approval.” Maybe. Don’t think so myself. Possibly to do with one’s upbringing. I have always felt loved (unconditionally) even when disapproved of. My oh my. Let words and other things fly. Decades later my parents and I are still as dear to each other as we always were. No. Dearer.

      One of the more surreal moments of my life: Being approved of, nay loved, yet disliked – by the same person. That stunned me into silence for a moment, reflecting on its implications. I married him anyway and never lived to regret it. Particularly after we had the most divine Angel and got divorced. That’s the good thing about me, I take life in its stride: I might rant, rage and rave briefly but in the end everything is fine. I will cry buckets over myself, others, and the world in general. Even a cat run over. A cat I have never met. Five minutes later my rainbow is shining again. That’s about as autobiographical as it gets, WWW. And I tell you: Few people worm anything out of me. So, well done.

      Still catching up with your ‘back catalogue’, WWW – getting to ‘know’ you. Which makes my point precisely: Some people will hold our attention. Others? No. But it’s not the other’s fault. Or ‘unmerited’. It’s just the way it is.

      There is melancholy in your posts which I read carefully. The only reason I don’t always feel compelled to comment because I have nothing to add. Or so much we need the Niagara Falls to freeze over.


      Comment by Ursula — January 31, 2014 @ 16:55 | Reply

  3. “Love lasts about seven years. That’s how long it takes for the cells of the body to totally replace themselves.”
    ― Françoise Sagan

    Comment by magpie11 — February 2, 2014 @ 12:21 | Reply

  4. Sorry I missed the contest. In the famous words of some actor in some boxing movie: “I coulda been a contenda.”

    Also sorry I can’t catch up on all of your posts–I’m just trying to make an effort to let you know I’m still alive, kicking, and thinking of you!

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — February 2, 2014 @ 14:36 | Reply

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