Bitch on the Blog

February 3, 2014

Vow of silence

Filed under: Atmosphere — bitchontheblog @ 13:39

A lot of people in my life are what you may call ‘testy’ or what I call ‘plain irritable’, particularly in the morning. I don’t like it. Makes me nervous. Not least because you will promptly say the one thing that sets off that which you have been trying to avoid. Namely, testiness.

I am who I am. Nothing to do with me. So I don’t pride myself on much. Not even on the fact that I am not easily irritated. Not even by a fly. A fly does what a fly does. Which is irritating. But has to be accommodated.

Which is why I would have made such a good teacher. According to my mother and about five hundred other people. Where do you take the patience from? I am being asked. I have no idea. Didn’t even realize that it was something to be taken. Thought it in ample supply.

Where was I? Repeating myself. That is serious. When you start repeating yourself and your life’s anecdotes you know you are on the way out. Not least to the relief of those who have no choice but to listen to you. It’s awful. I like my and others’ anecdotes. They never tire me. It’s why I love talking to my mother apart from her being my mother. We can talk about past anecdotes till the cows come home. And never get bored. It is one ‘do you remember’ fest between the two of us. My father too, in his old age. He is generally more interested in discussing the world, its philosophers and Hillary Clinton, Putin and Angela Merkel than the personal. But, by golly, times are changing. What I have learned about my father, his past, his emotions, in the last few years is a mountain compared to what I knew before. Fascinating stuff. You don’t know the half about the person who put you into the world.

Yes, so apart from patience I can offer that most precious gift: Time. Time is like dough. On which science I will continue another time.



  1. There is a saying in almost all our languages here to the effect that we have been provided with two ears and just one mouth so that we can hear twice as much as we speak. When you follow that guideline, you will automatically give twice as much time to listening than to speaking!

    Comment by rummuser — February 4, 2014 @ 01:21 | Reply

    • Yes, and no, Ramana. There are times we need to speak and there are times we need to listen. The number of times a private telephone conversation comes to an end only to be told that I know everything about the caller but haven’t revealed a thing about myself are more numerous than the numbers of my fingers and toes put together. Sometimes there is gold in what is omitted.

      And to all those who say it’s better to listen than to talk I would like to say: Don’t delude yourselves. Just because you don’t say anything does NOT mean you are actually listening. Few people, in my experience, are [truly listening]. They are just waiting to finish your sentence. They barely take a breath to reflect on what you have just said. And barge in.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — February 4, 2014 @ 02:53 | Reply

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