Bitch on the Blog

March 2, 2014

Amuse bouche

Filed under: Food — bitchontheblog @ 11:28

I will eat most things. Though do pass on rabbit because their skinned body reminds me too much of cat. Pigeons floating in broth too did challenge me – some banquet in Hong Kong. I looked at FOS – for help. He quietly hissed at me to just get on with it as not to disappoint the corporate client: Lead by example. Which didn’t stop him to take a call – away from the table – till that bloody soup was replaced by yet another of 22 courses. I did lead by example: No one touched it.

Snails. Back in the late Seventies I liked snails. Mainly for the garlic butter. No more. There comes a time in life you wake up to rubbery texture.

What else? Pearl Barley. I hate Pearl Barley. It’s slime.

Eel is out of the question. On account of their likeness to snakes.

My mother – not easily unsettled by any of her children – warns me off bananas. I like bananas. They are easy. On the way in.

Do have real problem at the moment with food intake. The Angel has not yet threatened to force feed me. But it can only be a matter of time. It’s fascinating. You may be hungry. But you are nothing without appetite.

All the above was brought on by ox tongue. I don’t mind liver. I will eat kidneys just to be polite. But tongue? No. It brings too close to home the one thing I can’t stomach: Slaughter.

Make of me what you will. Let me know what makes you retch. And don’t believe anyone telling you that the Chinese eat dog meat. They may well do. But they’ll have to farm them. Not steal your skinny chihuahua off the street corner. Fascinating the way the Chinese eat with their sticks. I once witnessed this in Red China. Bowl close to their mouths. Shovelling it in at the rate of knots. That’s when I took in the concept of cultural ‘difference’. There is one thing the Chinese have in common with the Dutch: Bicycles. They are everywhere. Not a car (or a dog)  in sight.

Salami greetings,



  1. There was a time when I ate anything that crept, walked, ran, flew or swam or just clung to rocks like mussels and have had all the things that you list in your post plus moneky and snake meat. Then I just became a vegetarian in 1998 and have not looked back since then. I do eat all dairy products and an occasional egg but that is it. No regrets whatsoever. Nothing made me retch those days and nothing does now. Food is food.

    Salami in India means salutations!

    Comment by Rummuser — March 2, 2014 @ 12:26 | Reply

    • Sunday Salami, Ramana.

      Someone once said of me that I must have been a rabbit in a former life. Still am. Give me a big bowl of salad and I will munch. Give me a carrot (or an apple) I will crunch. Happily. I love fruit and vegetables.

      If I never had another piece of meat it wouldn’t be too soon. However, yes the big ‘however’ always plated up in my posts and comments: I don’t make a philosophy out of my indifference to meat. If it’s served I’ll eat it and, if cooked well, I’ll enjoy it. The Angel likes his meat (which is the main reason I eat a little when we share a meal). In fact, just now, he made me a bacon sandwich. His mantra being: Mama, you’ve got to eat.

      Actually, as an aside, come to think of it: ‘Eat’ and ‘Meat’ are only one letter apart.

      What made you become a ‘committed’ vegetarian?

      Reminds me: My youngest sister too is a ‘committed vegetarian’. Yet, when her children were little she still made dishes for them containing meat. Easy source of protein? Never asked her. Too little time, too much to talk about.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2014 @ 13:08 | Reply

      • Spirituality. To be more specific, Vedanta.

        Comment by rummuser — March 5, 2014 @ 06:51 | Reply

  2. Ramana, told the local butcher that future d in l is vegetarian. He sniffed and opined that her complexon would deteriorate unelss she ate some animal products… not neccesarily meat.

    Ursula, this did amuse me… rabbit and pigeon okay for me… except that I heard about an exploration team that died because they ate lots and lots of rabbit… apparently it’s of little or no nutritional value. Still in apie with prunes and Armagnac… delicious…. snails? I used to enjoy winkles (but not whelks)…. The idea of raw oysters makes me heave…. great in a steak and oyster pie…. there was a time when Oysters (and Salmon) were staples in this country….I have heard that there were even riots against the amount of salmon ordianry peope had to eat.

    I heave at the thought of Blancmange or Milk jellies and chocolate pudding with chocolate custard revolts me. Apparently the French have taken to good old Engish Bread Pudding which demonstrates to me that the French, despite their historic posturing, actually no nothing of good food. 😉

    Queens pudding… ugh! Why spoil meringue with that slop underneath? Have never eaten tripe so should not comment (seen raw oysters)

    BTW Eel is too bony for me but smoked is okay.

    Comment by magpie11 — March 2, 2014 @ 12:45 | Reply

    • There is a way to slurp oysters, Magpie. And not just at Harrods. Food Hall. Oyster Bar. I’d slink to their counter just for the rarefied atmosphere.

      I am ashamed to say, and admit to it the first time in public: I have never ever slurped an oyster. I look for pearls instead. Still. Make me look into your eyes. Take a deep breath. Slurp.

      As to British food I shan’t be drawn on the subject. British cuisine does have its moments. No doubt about it. The French overcomplicate everything. Unless you are in Alsace. That was something else. Choucroute Garnie with the finest of Rieslings that money could buy. Not suprised that Germany and France fought over Alsace. Which reminds me: You still owe me one of your self grown cabbages.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2014 @ 13:21 | Reply

      • Alsace Reisling… to be savoured…. the Reisling grape produces some great wines from flinty dry to hugely luscious t.b.a.s that will live for dozens of years in the bottle….. then one may relish a gentle, chilled Muller-Thurgau sometimes like supping a bouquet if spring or summer flowers. But when it comes to Alsace I have to say that Gewurztraminer is beautiful….
        Isn’t there a difference between food and cuisine? For instance, I was reminded of this when I saw Tony Robinson sycophantically extolling the virtues of Salicornis aka Marsh Samphire. More than once as a child we went to Wells next the sea to collect cockles and the afore said Samphire and maybe a few clams. NOw adays all three of these can be bought in season from the fishmonger and make their appearances on the menus of posh restaurants or on T.V. cookery competitons. Poor peole’s food becomes Cuisine by such routes.

        BTW Tony Robinson sits alongside Lennon in my tiny little mind.

        As for cabbages….. they have been plagued this year by extra protien in the form of earthwotms and slugs…. I haven’t forgotten.

        Comment by magpie11 — March 2, 2014 @ 16:17 | Reply

        • Funny you should mention Gewurztraminer. Used to love it. Now it’s too perfumed for me.

          Samphire? Great. And yes, as you say, there is a difference between food and cuisine. Unfortunately, as mentioned, I have misplaced my appetite. But still like cooking. And you’d like my fishmongers. Family business. Basically a marble slab with lots of ice. Catch of the day. The woman is from up North with an accent to match, her husband is Italian and tiny, her two sons are huge. The fish is fantastic. Shiny eyes.

          I had to google Tony Robinson since I’d never heard of him.

          This morning I did what I never do in the morning. But there is always a first. I was so damn tired I watched TV. I think it was BBC Two. Lifestyle programme. Cooking. So glad I did. They featured my old friend, the one and only Keith Floyd. That guy had passion. If I knew where his grave is I’d pour him the odd glass of red. Though, for myself, I prefer white.


          Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2014 @ 16:55 | Reply

  3. Plenty of things that would make me retch if I actually tried to eat them. Like tripe or snails or black pudding or mussels. But being a committed vegetarian, I wouldn’t eat any of them anyway.

    Comment by nick — March 2, 2014 @ 21:16 | Reply

  4. Haven’t yet gone vegetabletarian, but I have pretty much lost my sense of adventure with strange dishes that are disingenuously labeled as cuisine.

    Comment by Looney — March 3, 2014 @ 02:18 | Reply

    • Agree. And then there is ‘fusion’ cuisine. Globalization on a plate.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 5, 2014 @ 05:31 | Reply

  5. In my experience the difference in food and cuisine is simply the price – cuisine is vastly more costly. Classic example – squab and pigeon. Same bird – calling it squab is license to triple the price. I’m not overly fond of tongue but admit to liking tongue sandwiches if presented as lunchmeat – no logic in that one. Alligator is pretty good, turtle not so much. Brains and eggs – beloved by my late grandmother and mother but simply intolerable to me regardless of the amount of hot sauce poured thereon. Clearly though – as witnessed by the Xs in front of the L on my frame there is much ore I like than do not like.

    Comment by Chuck McConvey — March 3, 2014 @ 15:54 | Reply

    • Alligator? Dear dog in China. All is forgiven. No doubt about it, Chuck, how the mind or rather our imagination will play tricks on us. If we don’t know what we are eating we will eat (unless you are a cat – cats are so mistrusting when it comes to food it’s quite extraordinary). But if you do know, beforehand, what it is then you might go a touch squeamish. Don’t tell the British (who ride horses) but I’d have no problem eating horse meat. Actually, no. Let me not reflect on this before I’ve swallowed.

      You mention turtle. I remember my mother – in the mist of time – being proud of her clear mock turtle soup. But then, maybe, never got the recipe, it was just that: Mock.

      Don’t worry about your frame. Not everyone’s metabolism is up to speed.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 5, 2014 @ 05:38 | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: