Bitch on the Blog

March 9, 2014

I ate it I ate it I ate it – with an h

Filed under: Food — bitchontheblog @ 10:00
Tags: ,

The only reason one of these days I shan’t combust because I don’t want to deprive my son of his mother.

Yes, reading the papers. Forget anger management. How to wean your child a la French chef Ducasse: You take a bunch of carrots. Fresh. Slice them (finely). Steam them. Puree.

Have I just read that? Is this for real? How have we survived for thousands of years, evolved, without some ‘chef’ telling us how to puree a carrot? Next we’ll learn to use a fork to mash up a banana.

THAT IS IT. I am done. I wish I could stand it all a little longer but I can’t. Soon a recipe how to breathe before we suffocate will be published.




  1. Now relax Ursula….. it is unfortunate that many parents (note the PC) these days have no idea of how exactly to prepare their own food for their children (in the UK at least). It’s been going on for years. I shouldn’t be surprised if the “chef” in question doesn’t have a contract taken ou on him/her by thevested interests of the sugar industry and theliek. How dare he s/he seek to educate parents?

    Comment by magpie11 — March 9, 2014 @ 11:27 | Reply

    • I am relaxed, Magpie. I just can’t believe how someone in the forest of print takes us by the hand. Are we deemed idiots or something?

      For your information: Ducasse is a man. Not that that has any bearing on his carrot. There is many a woman ‘chef’ I could mention who will tell you how to make potato soup. Mind you, there is one cook/writer (Delia Smith) who was – in my opinion unfairly – maligned for instructing us how to cook an egg. In various shapes and forms. There is an art to it. And that’s before we hit Eggs Benedict.

      Which reminds me of lost arts. The Angel and I discussing this the other day. Anyone for thatching a roof? A bit of weaving? Worse, brother of friend of mine (him [that’s the brother] being middle of three brothers so you do have to make allowances) decided to take up the craft of building fountains. In Berlin.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 9, 2014 @ 12:11 | Reply

      • Poor old Delia…. knowing as I do that so many people simply cannot prepare any comestible I beleieve that she did the country a great service. You and I may be able to hold our own in the kitchen…..though I am allowed little access these days…. but too mnay youg parents cannot.

        Boiling an egg? I’m always amazed when people manage to crack them…… BTW do you keep your eggs in the refrigerator?

        Comment by magpie11 — March 10, 2014 @ 18:14 | Reply

        • Do I keep my eggs in the fridge? No. I don’t. I keep them in the, much beloved by the Angel, Retro brown Beswick thingy – shape of a chicken. Eggs need to be at room temperature (compromise being that our kitchen is East facing – cool). Anyway turnover here pretty damn fast. Not that that will stop the Angel scrutinize the date as now stamped on every one egg.


          Comment by bitchontheblog — March 10, 2014 @ 18:55 | Reply

  2. Keep in mind it is a sign of the times Ursula. I’m not sure many people nowadays know where a carrot comes from, other the market shelf. In a plastic bag.

    Comment by Phil — March 9, 2014 @ 13:31 | Reply

    • You are right, Phil. Carrots grow on trees. And that’s after they have been harvested.

      Magic. And then there is milk. How many people have ever looked a cow in the eye? Never mind milking? When I was little I nearly married a farmer’s son. We were both five or so. His father’s cows all had names. Written on individual black boards (white chalk). They were taken to the Alm early in the morning. Late afternoon Hubert and I would help to bring them down. Home, What I found fascinating that each one of them (all in all may be a dozen or fifteen) did know their exact cubicle. Yes, the days when we made hay and, later, straw.


      PS Want a banana? Ask a monkey

      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 9, 2014 @ 14:13 | Reply

  3. Jenny (who insists on doing the cooking) takes no notice whatever of all the famous chefs. She sticks to the old fashioned method of looking out recipes and adapting them a bit. With splendid results.

    Comment by nick — March 10, 2014 @ 15:40 | Reply

    • Well, Jenny and I clearly on the same wavelength. Makes me sad in many ways: I have so much food porn on my shelves. And I don’t need it any longer. Once you get the gist of a method prescriptive recipes are surplus to requirements. Instead you go into free fall.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 10, 2014 @ 16:47 | Reply

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