Bitch on the Blog

March 30, 2014

Mental block

Filed under: Amusement — bitchontheblog @ 07:46
Tags: , , ,

You may remember that I am hopeless at remembering rules of any card game. Other than snap. It’s frustrating. For me. And for those who have to keep explaining it to me all over again every time we play.

I have many ambitions in life. Largely neglected. One of them: I want to be the Poker player from hell. It ain’t going to happen. Even if I did manage to remember the ‘rules’, card values and what have you: My one shortcoming, and I don’t know how many people have remarked on this over my life, the Angel only the other day, that my face (well, my eyes) are too expressive. I give away sorrow and joy like some people sell warm rolls.

Thinking about it: It’s strange how some of us are naturals at certain things (like, say, playing poker with a face to match) and others are donkeys. Yes, donkeys. There is an affinity there. Better than being that The Godfather’s sawn off race horse head under the duvet.

Cards. As I related to a friend of mine yesterday: Once upon a time I came across a deck of cards strewn over an open space, face down.. I picked up four. One of them was the Ace of Spades. Even I know that – despite it being the death card – it’s the one with the HIGHEST value. Exciting.

Remind me to tell you when I went to a casino (South of Spain) for the first time. Beginner’s luck. Oh did I win. It was extraordinary. I still have one of the 1000 peseta chips. That night I had the worst food poisoning of my life. It was epic. The bathroom and I bonded for many hours. And a few more.  You know what they say: “You attract into your life that which you need. ” Maybe. How I attracted FOS’s downright cruelty I don’t know. Yes, yes – Karma and all that. He had no sympathy whatsoever. Told me I only had myself to blame for ordering Steak Tartare in the South of Spain (or anywhere according to him) – and left for the pool. For all he knew I could have died. Minus the cost of my funeral. I tell you: Married life is not for ninnies. “In sickness and in health”? My foot.

I liked Monaco., Monte Carlo. The casino being like something out of  Dante. The atmosphere. Sordid? I’d say glamorous and distasteful at the same time. And yes, I did smell James Bond lingering in the air. No, I didn’t play but drove down that amazing road descending, the one where Grace Kelly met her fate.

Yes, so, should any of you be up for a game of cards I am all yours. Providing you are willing to explain the rules to me. Again.




  1. I was a big time card player till Ranjan was born and I became FOS for my late wife. Once that momentous event took place, the good lady made me stop playing cards and I have not played since then. That is fof near 43 years. In the early nineties of the last century, I became a fairly regular race goer and punter at our local race course. In 1995 when I retired, she again made me give up that nefarious activity. I have not gone there ever again. “Married life is not for ninnies.”

    Comment by Rummuser — March 30, 2014 @ 10:13 | Reply

  2. Reading od Grace kelly reminded me of the death by Bugatti and silk scarf of Isadora Duncan. Last words said to be “Farewell, my friends, I am off to glory!” What style she must have had.

    No one in my family will play any card game with me as I always want to win…… I refuse to learn to play Bridge as I have witnessed too many relationships shattered by arguments over that game.

    Comment by magpie11 — March 30, 2014 @ 17:25 | Reply

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