Bitch on the Blog

April 18, 2014

Needs tweaking

Filed under: Happiness — bitchontheblog @ 07:05

I won’t quote Paul Newman. It’s old hat and he is dead. But age, even when old, is not for ninnies.

As some of you know, and not that long ago, I managed to break my arms several times in a row. Back to back. Once both of them. At the same time. Which left me not only penniless but with a lot of time. Pinned to the sofa. Oh, did my sofa and I bond. Revisiting all those Bette Davies films. Bouncer, that eight kilo cat of a softie, deliriously happy to have finally nailed me, purring away on top of me. Love does kill you. No doubt about it. Love of sunshine did kill him. I never knew that a cat could get skin cancer. He did. By the time he died in my arm (at the vet – they charge you £80 for euthanasia) he was less than half his original weight.

Where were we? Breakage. I am pretty fit. If pushed I’d outrun my mother. And she is 81. But, by golly, once upon a time I was fitter. My arms are shite. They couldn’t reset the left wrist properly, the right trying to be loyal to its owner. I can’t believe it: You go through life, say, half a century and suddenly your body reminds you that you are actually alive. Brill. iant.

I have said it before, and I never mind repeating myself: I shall be so crap at ageing I am already ashamed of myself. Even taking it on my chin is no comfort. My only comfort running to the mirror to confirm that I have the neck of a twenty year old. No bull. So no need yet to grow a beard like some people I could name but won’t.

Can’t wait for the day I lose a tooth.

Other than that: Today, many years ago, Jesus Christ was nailed to the cross.




  1. I’ve just worked out how they did it….. the “resurrection” I mean….. they didn’t leave him hanging as long as usual so he didn’t actually pop his clogs….. well, that’s my latest theory.

    Comment by magpie11 — April 18, 2014 @ 10:48 | Reply

    • I’ll take one Prime Minister’s easy way out: I couldn’t possibly comment.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 18, 2014 @ 22:28 | Reply

  2. Dentures have their advantages.

    Comment by Rummuser — April 18, 2014 @ 10:53 | Reply

    • Thanks for reminding me to make an appointment with my dentist. No dentures yet. Though do have a gold tooth. Grave robbers stand by.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 18, 2014 @ 22:30 | Reply

  3. Nice posting as always Ursula…

    Happy Easter.

    Andro xxxx

    Comment by Gray Dawster — April 18, 2014 @ 16:58 | Reply

    • And to you. If there is one thing I appreciate, Andro, it’s loyalty. Which you do have in spades.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 18, 2014 @ 22:27 | Reply

  4. Well, I’m obviously older than you, and fortunately there’s nothing much wrong with me as yet. Heart fine, lungs fine, excellent hearing, I’ve never broken anything, still have all my own teeth, can still do serious walks. Sooner or later my luck will run out and I’ll succumb to something seriously debilitating. But until then I’m enjoying my good health to the maximum.

    A shame they couldn’t reset your left wrist properly, but I take it you’re right-handed so that’s not too much of a problem?

    Comment by nick — April 18, 2014 @ 21:48 | Reply

    • Thanks for asking, Nick. There is nothing seriously wrong with either arm/wrist. Let’s say the left is more of a cosmetic problem (slightly out of joint) than hindering daily life. Nothing that can’t be hidden with a pair of gloves.

      However, the legacy of that pride of mine which came before the fall that I have lost strength. Where once I could carry a mountain in weight now it’s a molehill. And since I hate asking for help I need to double my efforts. Other than that: Pain has subsided. And, to some extent, the lesson I was taught wasn’t so bad. Even useful. Question mark.

      Happy Easter,

      Comment by bitchontheblog — April 18, 2014 @ 22:24 | Reply

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