Bitch on the Blog

June 24, 2014


Filed under: Atmosphere,Human condition — bitchontheblog @ 16:31
Tags: ,

Remember my not so beloved conclusions?

They are coming thick and fast. If, mostly, they weren’t so amusing I’d hate them.

An apple a day keeps the dentist away. But what keeps conclusions away? They don’t erode your teeth. They erode your sanity. Your mental health. Your equilibrium. Making you wish you were the age I perpetually am. Five. When life was simple. You had a grandmother the centre of your world, a grandfather so sweet so kind so everything, lots of uncles who allowed me to plait their hair after returning from a hard day’s graft. Red ribbons no less.

And now? Apart from most the players having passed their ‘live by’ date I am left with conclusions. I sincerely hope that not all of them are valid. Some might turn out to be early miscarriages (barely noticed), some still born on conception. But some, boy oh boy, have kicked into life. The more mellow among you will call it wisdom. All that you have accumulated along the way. Don’t believe a word of it. I want to be FIVE. Who needs wisdom? You need wisdom at the BEGINNING of life. Not the end.

Other than that I feel like one of John’s hens (currently decimated by badgers). Hope springs eternal. No more than when you sit on an egg. Or come to yet another conclusion.

Hugs and hisses,




  1. I am so in agreement with your latest conclusions, to be amended as more is concluded. Wisdom we need way back then, what use is it now.
    And my handle was always tongue in cheek and highly inconclusive.

    Comment by wisewebwoman — June 24, 2014 @ 21:34 | Reply

    • Well, WWW, I mentioned my/our motion/notion about wisdom back to front to my father yesterday. Oh dear. He has a sharp mind and, apart from LSF (longest standing friend), the most opinionated person you do not wish to meet in a dark alley unless all your mental faculties fully functioning and you can stand your case.

      I will try and reconstruct his counterargument, ie that one should NOT live life backwards. Give me time.

      “Tongue in cheek” is good, WWW. Until someone smacks you.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 28, 2014 @ 11:53 | Reply

  2. Knowing you as I think I do, I don’t think that there will ever be any conclusions for you in your life. So, plod away and have your daily dose of apples and if there is some other panacea that would keep all the others away, that too.

    Comment by rummuser — June 25, 2014 @ 00:52 | Reply

    • After what five five/six (?) years’s comments I am sure you do know me well, Ramana.

      You made me look up the definition of “conclusion”: 1. An end or finish. 2 The summing up of an argument or written work. 3. A decision reached by reasoning.

      HA! Three for the agony of one conclusion!


      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 28, 2014 @ 11:59 | Reply

  3. Ah, U. Don’t you think we tend to romanticize the past? Were things so simple when we were young? At five, my dad had killed himself (though I didn’t know it). I lived day by day with a low frequency sense that things were amiss and that I had no power to change them. I suppose not much has changed since then except for the fact that I’m more aware of what’s going on around me and can pick and choose what I attend to. As for wisdom, I think the only way you get it (if you ever do) is by living and making mistakes from which you learn. It’s the learning part that creates the wisdom. I didn’t learn much when I was five. I’ve learned a bit more now that I’ve 56… 😉

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — June 25, 2014 @ 13:39 | Reply

    • My dear Lorna, hope your egg (the book) is hatching in its incubator.

      I agree: A lot of people do “romanticize” their past. In fact it’s one of the two things I come (not literally but in my mind) to blows over with my mother. My mother will rewrite family history, even the one she wasn’t privy to, like no one. You want rose tinted? See my mother and go a whiter shade than pale.

      I do not romanticize. Warts and shit all. Though dare say I was an awful lot luckier than you and some other people I know. My early life (with my grandparents – I was born out of wedlock) most certainly so very very very happy. Notwithstanding that my grandmother had tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks at the result of my first baking effort. Can’t say I found it funny. Or my grandfather so proud at my skiing certificate. Only to point out to me that the name of sa(i)d certificate wasn’t mine. In fact, instead of first place it turned out I was fourth. Other than that awful beef liver my grandmother used to cook once a week my early childhood was deliriously bliss, full of love, hugs and kisses. Adventure, Walks. Snow. You name it. Sunflowers.And then she died (I was eight and by then my parents were married). Yeah. Old people die. Some relatively young. Decades later 18 Feb still the one day in the calendar I shake my head at. I wonder sometimes what turns my life might have taken had she lived longer. I could have done with her advice once or twice.To think that the woman I love so much was born in 1896. I keep joking how “last century” I am, but 1896?

      Your father. I cannot imagine, Lorna, how his deliberate abandoning you must feel. There are emotions that are not within our realm. And that’s before we factor in the individual’s environment in which those events and emotions take place.

      Some people are what I call “front loaders”. They are hit by a steamroller early. Others, like myself, will gallop through life, happy, if occasionally startled. Then decades down the line your time will come. You get slapped. And try to scrape yourself off the floor with as much dignity as you can muster. Preferably in one piece. I am sure some mathematician will make some reverse order formula out of it.


      PS And, yes, I have just realized that in my last paragraph I have somewhat contradicted myself (ref my grandmother’s death – but have always lived up to her image of me as “sunshine”, if occasional thunder)

      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 28, 2014 @ 11:39 | Reply

      • Thanks for the reply, U. I think no one escapes crappy things to challenge them in this life. Maybe timing makes a difference, maybe not. The important thing is that we’re both still here at this moment alive and kicking, right?

        Comment by Lorna's Voice — June 28, 2014 @ 12:25 | Reply

  4. I have plenty of conclusions about life, but they’re all provisional. If I get new information and better arguments tomorrow morning, those conclusions can easily change. As for wisdom, I really don’t feel that wisdom accumulates with age as there are many life-experiences I have no knowledge of whatever, like bringing up children or being gay or getting divorced or having an affair or a mid-life crisis. I have little dollops of wisdom about certain things and that’s about it.

    Comment by nick — June 28, 2014 @ 20:25 | Reply

    • I agree with you that we should always be open to “new information and better arguments”. However, some things do come to a conclusion (as in ‘end’). A full stop. Of course one might, as an editor does, go back over the sentence before the full stop and fine tune the exact wording. But that does not change content.

      Yes, “wisdom”. Wrote some “wise” words about it to you yesterday, have misplaced them. As I do. Dear Nick, I am sure it’s no loss to you, mankind or indeed myself. Should I find those words in the bracken and dishevelled wasteland of my computer I will attach them as a PS here. Don’t hold your breath. As my father used to say (and still does – most annoyingly so): “Of what interest is what I said YESTERDAY?”


      Comment by bitchontheblog — June 30, 2014 @ 11:22 | Reply

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