Bitch on the Blog

August 29, 2014

Volume

Filed under: Communication — bitchontheblog @ 18:44
Tags:

Phoned my father this afternoon. As one does. Unless you are one of my sisters in which case you won’t. In-joke. Snarky. Forget it.

My father is a noisy person. I keep the receiver well away from my ear. This afternoon it got so bad my mother intervened to tell him he could be heard half way down the road. He did close the window.

Anyway, him never one to be held on a leash mashing you into a pulp,  two more pronouncements were made on me (notwithstanding that – as usual and by his own confession – he enjoyed our conversation): In his opinion I  am supremely arrogant, on top of which, apparently, I divert any subject from the theme back to the person.

Yes. So? Whatever.

I am good at letting people run into open doors. So I conceded that I am indeed arrogant. With good reason. Arrogance is the intellectual equivalent of sartorial elegance. Keep it understated.

As to my, apparently, turning the abstract to the more personal: Try it sometime. Makes for so much more intimacy. And friendship.

U

 

 

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9 Comments »

  1. Ah, no. There I don’t agree.
    Somebody who turns every conversation back to themselves is merely a great bore and friendship cannot survive.
    I once had a (German) friend like that. She is my friend no longer.

    Comment by Friko — August 29, 2014 @ 18:52 | Reply

    • You misunderstand, Friko: Not turning the subject matter to myself. Not at all. To the other person. Which irritates the hell out of my father. And other people.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 29, 2014 @ 19:11 | Reply

  2. Since a person’s view on any particular theme is usually based on their individual history and circumstances, it makes perfect sense to turn it back to the person. As for arrogance, that’s hard to tell without actually meeting you in the flesh. I haven’t noticed any obvious arrogance. Argumentative and picky, certainly….

    Comment by nick — August 29, 2014 @ 20:27 | Reply

    • Oh, my dear Nick, indeed “argumentative and picky”. That’s me. I can’t tell you how often I thank my lucky stars that I am not a fish. No angler in sight. I’d be long dead since any old bait does have me hooked.

      Fact is: I may or not be arrogant. I do believe that how we are perceived (particularly if in the negative) does reflect more on the eye of the beholder than our selves. By way of example: My father loathed longest standing friend of mine. Made the usual error of taking innate confidence for arrogance. LSF does now have (decades down the line) my father’s ‘approval’, indeed admiration. I do not remark on this to my father. No need to pour acid into a wound. Reminded me a bit of what Ramana said about his father: The older man not being able to stand another alpha male stamping on his patch. May I say that LSF reciprocated the feeling, all eighteen years of himself declaring my father the biggest arsehole he had ever met. And in those day words to that effect weren’t common currency. Whatever, Nick. If you live my life keep it coming. Have a cold compress. Camomile tea. Whatever keeps you calm, cool if not collected.

      I like my father. Though he is not the most likable of people. He can be very cruel. Never shall I forget, or forgive him, when one of the Daimler daughters (age seventeen or so) turned up at my door (which my father opened) only to ask me later: “Who was THAT tart”? Taught me a fine lesson how what you say reflects more on you than the one you say it to (and her friend).

      Never mind. I am not a Persil woman for nothing. It all comes out in the wash.

      Ursula

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 29, 2014 @ 21:09 | Reply

      • Of course the cliché has it that in a similar situation a woman will be described as “arrogant” or “pushy” while a man is described as “assertive” or “in control”.

        Comment by nick — August 30, 2014 @ 08:23 | Reply

        • So true.

          Comment by bikehikebabe66 — September 2, 2014 @ 16:16 | Reply

  3. Being a father of a 43 year old son and the father in law of a 42 year old daughter in law, and living with them, I can relate to your father’s side of the story. No, I cannot be heard outside our home when I am on the phone, nor do I call their friends names, but I rarely get to say anything anyway! So, when I do, boy do I enjoy myself!

    Comment by rummuser — August 30, 2014 @ 01:59 | Reply

  4. I always thought it best to take immediate, practical crises and abstract them until they are no longer relevant. Problem solved.

    Comment by Looney — August 31, 2014 @ 22:56 | Reply

  5. About your father closing the window because he can be heard down the road-lol, I yell when I’m not wearing my hearing aids. When I do people hard of hearing can’t hear me.

    Comment by bikehikebabe66 — September 2, 2014 @ 16:20 | Reply


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