Bitch on the Blog

September 29, 2014

Gondola

Filed under: Fashion — bitchontheblog @ 12:33
Tags: , , ,

Have to do my blog name justice once in a while. Forgot it was all about bitching.

Yes, that dress. Forget it. Clooney may buy you a £460,000 engagement ring, a £22,000 wedding ring (does marriage come cheaper than a promise?)  but, by golly, whilst I think money brings  you contentment it sure can’t buy you taste.

Yes, taste. That most elusive yet so stylish accessory in the armoury of  life. The bride steps out (remember she is not a five year old flower girl) as what can only be described as a tulip on two long pins (her legs). Pathetic. I do hope, as my mother advised when I was three and wore short skirts, that she was wearing matching underpants. Not that it is particularly windy in Venice. And what’s with the flowers down the front? Giambattista Valli (designer of dress), shame on you. You are Italian. You should know how to dress a “tough lawyer”.

To put the icing on the cake Clooney was (allegedly) nervous to cut, his father-in-law declared the wedding as “more than perfect”. Either something is perfect or it isn’t.

U

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14 Comments »

  1. Yawn!

    Comment by rummuser — September 29, 2014 @ 14:04 | Reply

    • “Yawn?” I beg your pardon? I made a serious social comment on behalf of people abusing both taste and the superlative!

      You must be Anna Wintour and I claim my five pounds.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 29, 2014 @ 15:42 | Reply

  2. Just because of this post I actually had to google ‘Mrs. Clooney’s wedding dress’. Without you it would have passed me by completely.
    So, what’s the big deal? As a dress it’s actually quite pretty. What did you want? A meringue?
    These are middle aged people getting married.

    I agree about the pins though, how can anyone walk on stilts?

    Comment by Friko — September 29, 2014 @ 16:32 | Reply

    • It’s no “big deal”, Friko. It was an observation. A valid one at that. Neither do I believe that it was her wedding dress. Just A DRESS. What’s “middle age” as you call it, indeed any age, got to do with attire, style, elegance?

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 29, 2014 @ 21:24 | Reply

  3. I refuse to waste my time scrutinising the behaviour and clothing of celebs. It’s none of my business anyway. I just hope they’re happy together.

    Comment by nick — September 29, 2014 @ 20:39 | Reply

    • No, no, Nick. You misunderstand. Sometimes “scrutinising” others gives us a mirror. A mirror to our own follies, fallacies and whatever f comes to mind (in the name of alliteration only, naturally).

      As you say, “it’s none of [your] business”. It sure was big business to the hoteliers, gondolieries and waiters in Venice. And that’s good. If it were currently left to me to prop up any country’s national product you’d all be sucking your thumbs.

      Hot tip of the day, Nick: Try not to be so purse lipped.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — September 29, 2014 @ 21:20 | Reply

      • I’m sure it was great news for all the local Venetian businesses. Not that they need any extra custom, Venice is always jammed with tourists at any time of year, too many of them in fact. Have you ever tried walking through any of the popular areas like St Mark’s Square? It’s strictly snail’s pace.

        Comment by nick — September 30, 2014 @ 11:34 | Reply

  4. Ah the stuff I know about Clooney would make for an interesting evening. But not in print.

    XO
    WWW

    Comment by wisewebwoman — September 30, 2014 @ 12:19 | Reply

    • I don’t know anything about Clooney, other than what I pick up in passing. I first and only saw him in “The Perfect Storm” (great film – all that water, huge waves AND the fish) and didn’t really get why he was such hot property. One of the other (male) characters caught my attention and affection far more.

      What baffles me is all the speculation about Clooney’s sexuality. Leaving aside the Angel’s assertion that my ‘gaydar’ is non-existent (and he is right) Clooney does strike me as … I don’t know. Candy? He is definitely attractive as are many other men – but in a sort of detached way. I wouldn’t mind him as a friend. Someone I’d sit opposite at dinner and dab sauce off his upper lip. Sauce on his upper lip? Got to be joking. For that Clooney is far too pristine.

      And why the hell people get married without necessarily wanting to procreate is beyond me.

      Anyway, who knows, WWW. A (gay) friend once said to me: Gays easily suffer from ‘ennui’. So they broaden their horizons as to keep boredom at bay. Get married. Change of scenery.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 1, 2014 @ 04:16 | Reply

  5. Thank you, U! I couldn’t bear to watch the thing. Any of it. What’s the deal with him getting married now? For most of his life, his pig was good enough for him. And now all this hoopla over some stick figure. And she’s not even blonde! I don’t give the marriage a year. At least his relationship with the pig endured.

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — September 30, 2014 @ 17:19 | Reply

    • Yes, I know she isn’t blond. The shame of it. Maybe Clooney should have shagged up with Rod Stewart. He was blond. The one thing I know about Rod Stewart is that he has a bottom. Once upon a time – having returned from work, totally knackered and assaulted by my cat’s attention, I sat down to knit (as one does in one’s early Twenties) – I turned the TV on. Not to keep me company. Just to see if it’s working. And what do you know: There was Rod Stewart’s bottom. Living on another planet I’d never heard of the guy. No, I didn’t drop a stitch of my knitting. I realized that I am one of life’s innocents. That I wished my mother had told me things (she, most likely, didn’t know herself).

      You ask “what’s the deal with him getting married now”? I don’t know, Lorna. People do strange things when time does start running out. Friend of mine (he is an ‘artiste’ of some standing) never got married. Which was obvious from the start (we played together in the sand pit). He sired a daughter. Still didn’t get married. Which was only fair to the mother of his daughter. Fast forward two, three decades. Oh dear. I have got him over a barrel now. Can’t stop teasing him. He may not have married for love, but is contemplating to do so NOW in order to preserve his legacy. Or, maybe like Clooney, making contingency plans for his old age when loving tender care (care with a big C) most welcome. No, forget everything I said. I know my friend. He’ll dig his heels in till the end. Anyway, begs the question why we are so worried about our legacies. Once you are dead you don’t give a shit about anything. Still, there is the theory that women have children (legacy) and men need to chisel a statue or paint the ceiling of some chapel, write ‘War and Peace’, to leave their mark. Whatever. As the days go into nights, Lorna, I marvel at humans – not always in wonderment.

      Back to Clooney. I didn’t know about his pig till you drew it to my attention. The pig slept in his bed? It’s a tough act to follow. Even for a human rights’ lawyer.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 1, 2014 @ 04:16 | Reply

  6. Perfect, Perfecter, Perfectest.

    Comment by Looney — October 1, 2014 @ 03:41 | Reply


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