Bitch on the Blog

February 17, 2015

An ugly glimpse into the darker recesses of my soul

Filed under: Amusement,Atmosphere,Beauty,Ethics,Nature,Observations — bitchontheblog @ 11:33
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The Angel and I can’t agree whether my dislike of the people of a (small) country amounts to rascism. He says it does, I say it doesn’t. I don’t like them, true – mainly because their faces are inscrutinable and when they smile I think it fake. But I don’t look down on them or wish them eradicated. So, I hope, that means I am not a racist. Just full of shit with regards to ………. people. Pleading mitigating circumstances: I myself don’t like my dislike. If I could un-dislike I would in a jiffy – and with relief.

One of my worst case scenarios I conjure up in idle moments when no other catastrophe to befall me comes to mind that the Angel will fall in love with a member of said country. I can see it now. I know I will be a good loving sweet mother-in-law to any of my son’s choices but please please please do spare me to test my mettle in the face of a strong and generalized dislike. Having said that: As far as I am concerned the Angel could marry an ugly snarly monster from an as yet unknown planet with charms not obvious to me and I’d trust his judgment. I just hope that his children will – both facially and temperamentally – be their father’s likeness.

And this was meant to be a most pleasant post about cats. Yes, that easily one thought of mine dislocates another.



  1. you are a far better woman than i.
    my son’s current girlfriend is surely a liability and as much as i want to trust his judgement i am pretty darn sure his judgement has been replaced by hormones

    Comment by kylie — February 17, 2015 @ 11:38 | Reply

    • I doubt that I am a better woman than you. The Angel’s friends (of either gender) and my nieces and nephews tend to remark to him that his mother is “unlike any parent”. I hasten to add that all their parents (including my son’s father) have always trusted me, and still do, that I won’t lead their children astray. And I don’t. I’ll give them a robust sounding board – and the reassurance that all confidences are just that: Confidences which I keep to myself. Yes, I know: I am a saint.

      As to mothers-in-law: Both of mine – so very different – had a most cordial relationship with me. My English mother-in-law likening me to Marlene Dietrich. I only mention this out of vanity since I think Dietrich’s cheek bones are to die for.

      Kylie, I wouldn’t attribute anyone’s attachment to hormones. Obviously they play a role (don’t get me started on that flirty game of genetic compatability with regards to future offspring – it’s a mine field). Just trust nature, luck and whatever else smoothes the path of human endeavour.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2015 @ 05:24 | Reply

  2. Du lieber Himmel, U. As a member of a race (?) and nation whole-heartedly disliked, even hated, by so many other nations for so many years (it’s not over yet) you admit to irrational prejudice? Bloody Hell!

    Comment by Friko — February 17, 2015 @ 12:27 | Reply

    • Heiliges Kanonenrohr, Friko. I knew if anyone would pick me up on that most fortunate heritage it’d be you.

      Honestly, as far as sins of our forebears go, I have atones. Not least by marrying into the country where – in unison with Basil Fawlty – no one is supposed to mention the war. On the whole the English don’t – instead of which they still dine out on their1966 triumph. Such is the power of football.

      The Angel plans a forty day visit (no not in the desert) to the motherland – later this year. Part of his route Berlin, Leipzig, Dresden, Prague, Bratislawa, Vienna … flying back from Hamburg.

      Dresden. Now, we all know what comes to mind first when we hear Dresden. So I told him to switch to his best German, to not let on about his being half English (blame his mother) because that bombing by the Allies sticks to this day. By way of family history, my father was born in Leipzig and christened in the Johann Sebastian Bach Kantor Church. Anyway …

      You say “irrational prejudice”. Exactly. “Irrational” does define the very concept of prejudice. And yet, and the sooner any of us acknowledge it and stand by our failing the better. We all are prey to it, even the most rational.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2015 @ 05:22 | Reply

  3. There’s an annual contest at Bond University, Australia, calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term. This year’s chosen term was “political correctness”.

    The winning entry :

    Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional , illogical minority and promoted by mainstream media , which holds forth the proposition that it is eminently possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end.

    Comment by Rummuser — February 17, 2015 @ 13:33 | Reply

    • Oh, Ramana. I come to love and appreciate you more by the day following the trail of comments you leave here and elsewhere – at the clean end.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2015 @ 05:33 | Reply

  4. Based upon a definition of racism that states or is similar to prejudice and discrimination based in social perceptions of biological differences between peoples I’d say no you are not racist – simply a bigot. Now I am admittedly taking a SWAG (scientific wild assed guess) based on your comments about this small country. Your perceptions are based upon your experience with the collective actions of these people and so the opinions formed are based loosely in fact. I myself find I hold similar opinions towards far-right religious fundamentalists in my own country so your notions are not really unique to you but your willingness to address them honestly is not the norm.

    Comment by Shackman — February 17, 2015 @ 13:37 | Reply

    • My dear Shackman, “bigot” not being in my everyday vocabulary I looked it up in Oxford’s finest: “a person who does not tolerate the opinions of other people”. In that sense I am not a “bigot” since I do tolerate other people’s opinions – whether I like them or not. “Opinions” don’t make or break people to me. They [opinions] are just there to be discussed. The aim NOT to “convert” but to open each others’ horizons.

      It is benign of you that you think my perception being based on the “COLLECTIVE”. Yes and no. It’s mainly based on one personal experience. A person – much younger – briefly living under my roof, English language student. “Don’t” said FOS (father of son), well travelled and versed in the ways of the world. “She’ll treat you like a servant. And you won’t stand for it.” Whatever. Naturally, being me I didn’t believe a word of it. And thus it came to pass: She treated me – in my own home – like a servant. The same way – I live in a University Town and close to me are several towers of luxury student flats – I now meet the very same sort in my local corner shop. It’s breath taking. Breath taking – their alloofness, the air of entitlement they give off, and NOT a smile in sight. Eye contact? Forget it. I am sure they’d be aghast – personally – to be perceived as I do perceive them. Do I hold it against them that they wouldn’t comprehend if I gave them a hint? No. It’s a cultural thing. And doesn’t make a person whose culture clashes with ours a bad person. Well, unless … and I won’t go there because it has nothing whatsoever to do with what I am talking about.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2015 @ 05:29 | Reply

  5. All faces are inscrutable to me, so this sort of prejudice is quite hard for me to comprehend. The females of this small country are catlike in their behavior? I could name some such countries, but they aren’t small.

    As I see it, the crux of the problem isn’t that these females are inscrutable, but rather U have a need to scrutinize. Thus, U can let your conscience rest over the issue of racism.

    Comment by Looney — February 17, 2015 @ 14:19 | Reply

    • Looney, thank you for absolving my conscience for the not to be easily forgiven. Which reminds me of a friend of mine who recently lamented that he was brought up a Protestant – strong work ethic and conscience, making him unable to relax and rest on his laurels. He thinks it a much more cushy number to be a Catholic. Sin all you like. Go to confession. Be forgiven. Encore … go to confession. Be forgiven … Whilst us protestants will – despite having sweated, bled and shed many a tear will expect final judgment at the pearly gate. All be too late then. For eternity.

      You surprise me by claiming that “all faces are inscrutable” to you. Judging by your comments over the years you strike me as someone observant of tiny nuances. Anyway, if you want to read a face come and see me. Apparently, and everyone says so, my face is an open book. It’ll display pleasure, joy, surprise, anger and all spectrum of human expression with not so much as a tiny tiny moderating influence. It’s the only reason I decided against a career as a poker player. My face won’t do. Unless I played being darkly veiled with lace. No doubt, then the tremble of either my hands or my voice would give me away.

      And no, “this small country” has nothing to do with “catlike in their behaviour”. I can read a cat, I can’t read a blank canvas.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2015 @ 05:32 | Reply

  6. Clearly you’re judging books by looking at the cover. I don’t mind admitting that I also instantly like or dislike someone else’s appearance, and that seems a pretty normal human trait to me. However, I’m also aware that someone’s appearance bears no relation to what’s going on inside, and unappealing looks may conceal enormous intelligence and empathy.

    Comment by nick — February 17, 2015 @ 21:43 | Reply

    • Nick, I don’t judge a book by its cover. I judge it by content, taking the time to read first.

      As an aside, not least since you mention the subject in your recent post: What of “unappetizing looks” NOT being redeemed by “enormous intelligence and empathy”? Dear, oh dear. You, NIck have just dug your own grave. The last sentence isn’t meant how it reads. Still, something to think about.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2015 @ 05:42 | Reply

  7. How do you clarify “small country” ?- I live in a relatively small country, a little bigger than the landmass of Britain and the size of the Colorado State in the USA. Our population is never going to equal either compared country – I seem to recall we are under 5 million.

    Comment by cedar51 — February 25, 2015 @ 07:03 | Reply

  8. Interesting post indeed and brave too. I’ve found, for myself, getting to know an individual from a country or region that has been condemned by friends as whatever, take your pick, has relieved me of any prejudice. For instance, Pakistanis were despised in Toronto as “filthy” and then I was invited to a Pakistani home and found them to be cleaner than any other home I’d ever been in: i.e. washing their hands carefully between each food course. Same with the children of Nazis. I think generalizing is very, very dangerous.

    Comment by wisewebwoman — March 1, 2015 @ 18:57 | Reply

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