Bitch on the Blog

March 2, 2015

Vive La Lady

Filed under: Atmosphere,Fairy Tales,Happiness,hope — bitchontheblog @ 05:08
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Napoleon remarked (why did he make that common mistake of trying to invade Russia – in winter) that a general is NOTHING without “fortune” (French pronunciation) on his side. True. And Lady Luck is fickle. In fact if Lady Luck were so unlucky as to be my daughter I’d tell her a few home truths. The way she grants favours, or not, isn’t the way to go about it.

First of all: She has no sense of justice. None. In fact, if she was that child faced with a marshmallow she’d be out of the door before she could chew it.

I dislike many sayings. Not least the one and only: “Du bist der Schmied Deines eigenen Gluecks”. Loosely translated: Everone is master of their own luck. Bah to that. I do take responsibility for myself (and others) but don’t give me a horse’s hoof. That way you’ll limp on the home stretch.

Anyway, IT’S ALL RELATIVE. “It’s all relative” is my mantra. You can apply it to anything in life. That way (relative) happiness lies. Naturally the likes of Looney and his mind will point out to me that in order for something to be relative you need something to measure it against. True.

I measure ‘it’ against, say, fairy tales. Particularly on a Sunday afternoon. Or a particular Maupassant novella, the title I won’t name lest it’ll break your heart on reading. Yes, fairy tales, as opposed to Maupassant: You briefly, emphasis briefly, spend many an hour cleaning the castle’s hearths under the malevolent eye of your step mother. One hundred years later you either go to a ball and leave your dainty shoe behind and/or are being kissed by a prince. No wonder I only eat apples vetted by me and in the privacy of my own company. And go barefoot.

I won’t tell you which one is my favourite fairy tale. It’ll give too much away about me – even to the obtuse among you. Instead let’s settle on another one. A grim one as the Grimm Brothers go: “Von einem der auszog das Fuerchten zu lernen.” One who went out to learn fear. Not a difficult task you might say. Take it from me. It is [difficult]. Particularly if you are not afraid of the dark. Anyway he did find something he was afraid of. Lucky him. And no, it wasn’t that which we all fear, it was – nemesis of my own life: A COLD FISH.



  1. Let China sleep for when China wakes the world will tremble. (Napoleon, upon being asked why he did not proceed eastwards of Moscow to China)

    As for fairy tales…. they all seem to be needlessly gruesome…. I mean to say it’s pretty gruesome hanging some chap with nails though his wrists up on a cross…..

    Comment by magpie11 — March 2, 2015 @ 15:18 | Reply

    • Dearest Magpie, so glad I haven’t misplaced you on the way.

      Are you sure about Napoleon and China? I know he [Napoleon] was ambitious but did China even exist in our consciousness then? Don’t answer that. Please. Also ‘consciousness’ is one of those English words you have to KNOW how to spell. Otherwise you’ll never find it in the dictionary.

      Fairy tales? Gruesome? That’s their purpose, Magpie. To frighten the shit out of you. At an impressionable age. I was so fed on them little can fathom me. And then there is that old school saying (a bit like Beethoven and Mozart) you are a follower of either Andersen or Grimm. Since I don’t follow anyone I enjoy both their takes.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — March 2, 2015 @ 15:37 | Reply

    • Nursery rhymes are gruesome too. ‘Rock-a-bye baby, in the tree top. When the wind blows the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks…’ You know the rest.

      Ring around the Rosy is all about the Black Plague & the ‘ashes, ashes’ are the cremated dead bodies.
      3 Blind Mice got their tails cut off. Jack & Jill fell down the hill…Jack broke his crown. etc.

      Comment by bikehikebabe66 — March 2, 2015 @ 15:52 | Reply

  2. Why is it that when we speak of “luck” we tend only to consider the “good” kind? Bad luck can be and equally fickle lady, can’t she?

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — March 2, 2015 @ 19:24 | Reply

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