Bitch on the Blog

August 22, 2015


Filed under: Amusement,Animals — bitchontheblog @ 17:31

Sweethearts, the older my mother gets the more I cannot cope. She is fine. Though excitable. Even for my taste.

She also goes into amazing detail.

Anyway today she relates how she swallowed some cold fruit tea and got stung by a wasp at entry point to her gullet. Brill. Can’t beat it. Particularly when my mother is involved. Sarah Bernard and Liz Taylor have nothing on her.

What does she do? By way of first aid? And this is where my mother and I part ways and explains why we are so different. She first swallows some high Vat liquor, then she makes herself a boiling hot cup of tea. You may ask why? It appears her first concern was not so much about herself, with anaphylactic shock in the wings, as revenge. REVENGE! On the wasp. Which was already half way down on the way of no return.

You can’t but marvel how people’s minds work. If that had been me … – but we’ll get to my superior measures in a minute. Yes, so swallowing alcohol followed by a hot brew which scalded her throat she killed a wasp. The wasp which had stung her. Now, and this is act four before the curtain falls and you have to hand it to her: She managed to regurgitate a now dead wasp. Only then did she alert her husband, my father, for him verify that indeed she had taken her revenge.

Naturally, and because I am to the point, I couldn’t help venturing in response that it might have been more sensible to swallow lots of cold water, suck an ice cube and generally keep a level head. Not so – as far as my mother is concerned. Three days on the wasp is still dead and she talks with a rasping voice.




  1. omg. i cannot even imagine
    omg LOLOL feeling guilty actually .. but still LOL!
    omg sympathy for your poor mom
    omg. I see from whence you get your sense of drama.
    and it’s a good thing. though yours is apparently mixed with lovely common sense too. LOLOL.
    want me to do one more omg?
    talk about drama!
    i know. i know.
    sadly mine is like your average 7 year old’s.

    Comment by tammy j — August 22, 2015 @ 17:50 | Reply

    • I don’t so much LOL, Tammy, as shake my head in wonderment at the ways of the world. By way of compensation for my troubles I am given to sniggering (defined as “smothered laugh”). It’s my default mode. To my delight, It takes nothing to make me snigger.

      It’s getting better, Tammy. Forget my mother’s wasp. I have other battles to fight right at my doorstep.

      There is a mouse in the house. It’s tiny. Inverse in proportion to its impact.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 22, 2015 @ 22:29 | Reply

  2. only yesterday my brother explained his medical technique for “healing” small cuts: burn them with the tip of a soldering iron. between the two of us, I’m sure you and i have heard it all

    Comment by kylie — August 22, 2015 @ 21:29 | Reply

    • No offence to your brother. But that is mental. And funny in an unfunny way. At an impressionable age, say 17 and in state of fright of what my father would make of it, I once “operated” on myself. Metal splinter in my inner elbow. Oh my god. I cannot believe now that I did what I did. Nail scissors. In the privacy of the bathroom I even used my father’s after shave (alcohol) as disinfectant. That I didn’t hit the roof and bring the house down with the pain is a miracle. My parents never knew.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 22, 2015 @ 23:25 | Reply

  3. I have to admit, I laughed out loud too. I admire your mother for her spunk, and I do love your flair for writing. Besides you, has anyone else in your family inherited her sense of drama? I assume your son hasn’t. What does he think about your latest crisis? Is he as worried as you are?

    I am glad that your mother doesn’t seem to have had long-term repercussions for her method of dealing with the sting! Best of luck to you both.

    Comment by cheerfulmonk — August 22, 2015 @ 22:19 | Reply

    • Oh my gosh, Jean. You have it so right. Yes, my mother has spunk and my son – being so laid back as to be horizontal – isn’t given to drama. He didn’t cry when he was born, he didn’t even throw tantrums at age three, but will get very very very angry now at what he perceives as society’s injustices and ills. Yes, a young man’s anger. A sight to behold. You ask what he thinks of my “latest crisis”. I’ll let you know.

      Has anyone else in the family inherited my mother’s sense of drama? i haven’t actually [inherited it] – despite your well judged claim. The difference between my mother and me being that she makes a drama out of nothing, whilst I, according to my father and others, will weave a story. We both entertain and annoy in our own ways.

      My siblings? Difficult. I’d say my sisters tend to “refuse” themselves when challenged. – albeit in two different ways – though both retreating and distancing themselves when the going gets a little tough. Totally opposite to me. My brother? I haven’t got a clue. He comes across as a people pleaser – which he is. To get to the bottom of him.? Forget it.

      Interesting question you ask. Thinking back over my family, and even taking nationality into account, some [of my mother’s siblings, my aunts and uncles] were calm, others … well, I’d say they were/are passionate. Particularly when it came to fishing which must be the most patience testing of all pastimes there is.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 22, 2015 @ 23:16 | Reply

  4. Your post leads me to wonder why nothing as adventurous as this ever happened to my father or for that matter to me? Had it, I would have exchanged notes!

    Comment by rummuser — August 23, 2015 @ 01:29 | Reply

  5. good grief, swallowing a wasp and then calmly dealing a blow to – I would be screaming out the door, for someone else to deal with “me” – forget the bl**dy wasp…

    Comment by cedar51 — August 23, 2015 @ 04:39 | Reply

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