Bitch on the Blog

October 28, 2015

Less haste more speed

Filed under: Accuracy,Amusement,Peace,Philosophy — bitchontheblog @ 10:45
Tags: , , ,

I think time to be in too much of a hurry.

However. Yes, the dreaded HOWEVER. Sometimes time slinks and sloshes as if it were a never ending commodity.

That hour going back last Sunday caught me out big time, and I haven’t adjusted yet. I wish there were more continuity in life. Let time be. Up with the cockerel (that’s hens), feet down at dusk. Saves on electricity. Natural order of things. Man dragging woman (at her hair) back into the cave, Bambi being Bambi cute, and dinosaurs. Not sure about dinosaurs. One moment they Tyrannus Rex you, the next they are extinct.

“Slinks”. Do you remember Slinky? That metal coil slinking its way down the stairway? I gave one to the Angel at the early end of his childhood. And had the distinct feeling he was less impressed than I was. In my experience you need a spine to make your way downstairs. Unless, of course, as I did, circa 1997, just having moved to a new house and trying to find my bearings – getting a feel for the place, you slip and slide the whole way. No damage done. And no, I was NOT drunk as some helpful friends suggested by way of comfort. I am never drunk. Mainly because I don’t like losing control. Yes, so there I was at the bottom of the stairs, on my back – and went, momentarily, into shock. It’s another fine example of when time takes on a whole new dimension. A bit like toothache. A minute or five do stretch into eternity.

To put a piece into the puzzle: It’s years and years and years (remember we are talking time) that I have worn a wrist watch. I don’t like shackles. Which is why I’d be a soul destroying non participating partner in anything vaguely bondage. So, yes, I don’t do time. Neither do I carry a handy/mobile/cell phone. If and when pressed (for time) I will ask strangers what the time is and they look it up on their handy/mobile/cell phone. A great conversation starter. People, first startled, are happy to be asked. For anything. TIME? Then you weed the obsessive (it’s 0923 and five seconds) from the slap dash (it’s about ten).

Am sure Beckett is still waiting for Godot … I like waiting. A subject that can wait. For another time.




  1. It caught me too… I laughed at the announcer who claimed that it was 7-00am and then realised I was the one tobe laughed at… I hadn’t changed the clock… actually there are several clocks I still haven’t changed…
    As for being drunk… me neither… someone once said it’s because I too like to be in control….noo, I have just seen too much unhappiness come from over imbibing and/or addiction.

    I love my wristwatches… Yes I only wear one at a time, usually the military one which gains a second a day….. I have a lovely Omega Seamaster which the parental units bought me for my 21st Birthday and herself facilitated it’s transfer to a gold case. The original case now holds an Omega DeVille (from which the gold case was taken). Both mechanical, manual wind watches…..

    Rarely know where my moble phone is….. it certainly doesn’t go out with me…. even to the allotment.

    Waiting…… I’m god at that too..

    Comment by magpie11 — October 28, 2015 @ 14:32 | Reply

    • Err… good at that…. Freudian slip?

      Comment by magpie11 — October 28, 2015 @ 14:33 | Reply

      • Dear “god at that” David. I love Freudian slips. Have amazing ability to drop truly embarrassing clangers. There are people who swear I do it on purpose whilst pleading innocence.

        One of the blogs I visit claims that no one listens, takes note. I think it might have been on Ramana’s or, more likely, Nick’s. If Nick’s aim is to drive me to despair he consistently scores. Bad news for anyone who thinks (including myself) that words fly with the wind: They don’t. Words will anchor. All you can hope for is that they won’t get mangled in Chinese whispers. Having been at the receiving end of gossip not all stains come out in the laundry.

        Interesting about your watches. I do understand the attachment – not least because for some reason, watch it Freud, I do like a man’s wrist adorned with a bold statement. Tagheuer, Breitner, you name them I love their adverts. Reminds me of GG (gay guy), a man I loved (in an absent minded and bemused way), a man who loved me (in an obsessive yet easily distracted way). He had – for a man – very slender wrists. Yet with his (forgotten the make for the moment) he was a MAN. Yeah, well, I am sure those last few words will make me hugely popular. Sorry. I have since learnt – to my cost – the difference between ‘preference’ and ‘orientation’. LGBT language is designed to trip up the unaware. Whatever you do, walk on eggshells without crushing them. Come to think of it that is probably why fairy tales are called fairy tales. Not because the tales are fantasy (they aren’t, folklore is so grounded/steeped in the realities of life no wonder they frightened the hell out of me) but because fairies are light footed and weigh nothing.

        Yes, other than that (and please don’t wait up) my email appears to be working only intermittently. I know this because the Angel calls me every so often asking whether I am still alive considering what a prolific writer of apropos of nothing I am. British Telecom has no answer.

        Yes, watches. There is a link I need to find. If and when I do I’ll let you know.

        Before I go, something has just occurred to me: I am a great believer in the “inner” clock. The one that wakes you at the most unlikely times, and in time to, say, catch a train or an aeroplane. Strange how we are wired.


        Comment by bitchontheblog — October 28, 2015 @ 16:14 | Reply

        • Help…. are you sure that you have not expressed this tought before?

          Before I go, something has just occurred to me: I am a great believer in the “inner” clock. The one that wakes you at the most unlikely times, and in time to, say, catch a train or an aeroplane. Strange how we are wired.

          It seems terribly familiar…. deja vu or………?

          Also on radio at the moment a talk about National Anthems and nationalism that seems very familiar……

          I’ll try not to let these thoughts wake me at night…… my internal organs and glands do that.

          Comment by magpie11 — October 28, 2015 @ 21:00 | Reply

          • David, I am not surprised at anything I may have mentioned “before”. As we get older it appears we dive into that treasure trove of our memories and come up with the same things. I know this because sometimes (often) the Angel will finish my “anecdote” word perfect. Yes, that often he has heard it. It’s embarrassing. I wish I were as self unconscious (is that a word?) as my mother – she merrily, and it is rather charming, will get carried away. Though with her rewriting history at the rate of knots I’d never be able to finish her anecdotes word perfect.

            Yes, deja vu. OH MY GOD, David. I had a terrible terrible terrible deja vu this afternoon. It was writing something when suddenly I remembered a dream (from ages ago) where I was writing and doing exactly what I was doing this afternoon. Freaked me out – a little. Not least because in that dream I died after having written whatever it was I wrote.

            “National Anthems” and “rationalism”? Was that Radio Four? Got to get back into the habit of turning the radio on.


            Comment by bitchontheblog — October 29, 2015 @ 05:15 | Reply

  2. Why does Nick drive you to despair? He sometimes looks at life differently than I do, but that’s part of his charm.

    Comment by cheerfulmonk — October 28, 2015 @ 20:43 | Reply

    • I can’t imagine seriously driving anyone to despair. Unless I was a benefit-slashing Tory or a bank-account emptying hacker. Are my introverted burblings that potent?

      Comment by nick — October 29, 2015 @ 10:02 | Reply

      • Don’t worry about it, Nick. Not that you do. There is despair and there is despair. What makes me “despair” at some of your posts that they paint such a depressing picture of mankind. You and I may as well live on different planets. Or maybe I am just naive. What do I know? However, what makes me “despair” the most is on your behalf. Someone, early on in your life, coloured your view – and rosy it ain’t.

        You may remember that I once claimed that I’d be able to pick you out in a crowd. Now I obviously would since you were obliging enough to post a photo of yourself. But, and don’t laugh – maybe I have second sight – that photo was exactly the image I had in mind. Nice guy. Unassuming. Of course, who knows, and Grannymar sometimes makes allusions to that effect, you may be a dark horse whose bitter under their breath mutterings make you very amusing company in public. And before you protest that you are shy, introverted and socially awkward – DON’T.

        Essentially, you are one of those guys/guyesses who’d hugely benefit from going for a long long walk with me. There is nothing that fresh air, a leisurely stride and a sincere person at your side can’t alleviate.


        Comment by bitchontheblog — October 29, 2015 @ 10:47 | Reply

      • Nick, the ones that drive me to despair are the ones that insit that, no matter what the state of the country, we have hand out benefits to such an extent that the recipients can afford cigarettes, TVs in every room and so on and so forth…….

        Comment by magpie11 — October 29, 2015 @ 13:03 | Reply

        • Magpie, I suspect those are the exceptions that prove the rule, the ones that create banner headlines and stick in people’s minds. But I imagine the vast majority of claimants are actually pretty hard-up and certainly can’t afford a telly in every room. If they can afford a telly and a TV licence at all.

          Comment by nick — October 29, 2015 @ 17:23 | Reply

  3. Perhaps it is time to emigrate to places where such upheavals do not take place! Like India.

    Comment by rummuser — October 29, 2015 @ 01:04 | Reply

    • Funny you should say that. Watched a rather unnerving film a few hours ago – set in India. Leaving the story aside what took me and shook me is the vibrancy of colour – not least in Indian attire. And what beauty – in both men and women. Those BIG dark eyes. Those fine features. You once said that you prefer your “own” and I can see why “white” white does not necessarily appeal.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 29, 2015 @ 05:24 | Reply

  4. our clocks went “forward” weeks ago; I’m terrible at that kind of thing and I needed to be in the city by 8am at the latest the next morning, so I rang a friend [in early evening] who just said “put your clocks forward now” – so simple.

    However, my food brain hasn’t caught up with it all, especially in the evening when it is still light-as – by mid summer it won’t be dark much before 9pm – hoping food brain has caught up! So I eat all over the place…and sometimes it’s dinner at almost afternoon tea time, because I forgot some other meal!

    okay part of that has to do with engrossed in art-making but that’s another story all together….

    as for wrist watches, I don’t what happens to them but they die, usually before they’ve been in my life 6mths. My ex would buy me a lovely watch and then say some months later “where is it?” “oh over there it won’t work!” “don’t be silly…” and he fiddle but to no avail it would NOT work. So next celebration of mine, a new watch. He finally gave up…and I have been watchless since. I do have an old fliptop cellphone or I just make do with whatever…

    Comment by cedar51 — October 29, 2015 @ 01:35 | Reply

    • Thank you for your amusing reply, Catherine. Easy to forget that we are at different sides of the world. I like autumn with all those earthy coloured leaves crunching underfoot, I even like winter – well snow, and here on the South Coast of England it NEVER ever snows, but I HATE the dark. You wake up in the dark, it’s dark before the evening has even begun. Which basically means it’s that time of the year when I am perpetually in the dark and not just literally.

      Yes, funny, relation between husbands and watches. Because I don’t like straps mine presented me (twice) with a delicate bangle watch (Gucci no less), sitting loosely on my wrist, not “tying” me down as it were. The watch came with ten or twelve interchangeable colour bands (to match your wardrobe). For the life of me I do not know what happened. to those watches. I can only guess they were stolen. Bit of a heartbreak. I then bought (ca in the dark ages) and against all my inclinations a strappy no nonsense Swatch watch. Which meant, that as soon as I’d sit down anywhere I’d take it off, rub my wrist and – carelessly and absentmindedly – toss it aside. Which is why it was chewed to death by my sister-in-law’s rather fetching dog. At the time we were all sitting on the lawn – with the dog. What does one expect? And that was that. Makes you think about other parapharnelia likely to be lost. Like gloves, sunglasses, umbrellas. Recently the Angel wanted to take something with him, can’t remember now what it was: “Don’t”, I said to him. “All that’ll happen you worry losing it, then you’ll kick yourself having lost it.”


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 29, 2015 @ 04:55 | Reply

      • Why is it that I always find only one glove at a time?

        Comment by magpie11 — October 29, 2015 @ 13:07 | Reply

  5. I agree with you that it would be much more natural (and energy saving) to get up at dawn and go to bed at dusk (with a book and a bedside lamp perhaps). I find it most peculiar going to work in the dark and getting home in the dark. The darkness may be okay for cats and squirrels but I don’t think many human beings are comfortable with it.

    Comment by nick — October 29, 2015 @ 10:07 | Reply

    • Don’t mention rodents, Nick. It’s too close to home, scratching a nerve.Touch wood – there is no mouse in the house. Rodents love the dark. Mainly because – by some sort of non sequitur – essentially, they can’t see well, touching on being blind. That’s why they run along walls – their whiskers giving them directions. Yes, I know, it’s too much information. I too nearly threw up. Still, all is quiet – for the time being.

      The one good thing about the winter and dark that you have a good reason to light candles. I love candle light. There is something so, as the Angel would say, “primal” about a flickering flame. A warming cashmere throw for the soul.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 29, 2015 @ 11:04 | Reply

  6. Well Ursula I come here looking for some bite and here I find “A warming cashmere throw for the soul.” And I bask in that for a while and look again at the header and wonder who absconded with your blog.


    Comment by wisewebwoman — October 29, 2015 @ 16:25 | Reply

    • Don’t make me laugh, WWW. I have nursed a nose bleed all day. Too late – you have made me laugh.

      I am cured – for the umpteenth time – of googling the meaning of “symptoms”. It ranges from meaning nothing to being on your death bed. What’s normal in a ten year old makes sinister reading at my age.

      You want grit. Well, WWW, I gritted my teeth at my last birthday. I jumped the hurdle – forced by dint of diary and time marching – and I still can’t fucking believe it. In my mind I am FIVE and happy. Now I am being sent free of charge test kits for colon cancer. Are these people ticking alright? No one of my forebears has ever died of anything other than old age. Mind you, there is always the exception to whatever the rule is. Today they sent me a reminder. I am squeamish when it comes to shit – unless it’s in a baby’s nappy.

      Reading your blog I sometimes think to myself what a hoot if the two of us wrote a screenplay together. Oh my god. That would be something else. Our audience would be torn between whether to laugh or to cry. Or shake their heads at the folly of life. Whatever – the reviews will be grand.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — October 29, 2015 @ 17:05 | Reply

  7. I despise changing time. We can’t trick it or fool us, or whatever it is we think we are doing. I say pick one and stick to it. However…just kidding…I still wish we would just pick one and keep it into perpetuity. Happy fall, Ursula.

    Comment by reneejohnsonwrites — November 2, 2015 @ 04:07 | Reply

  8. Hi U. Just before the old time switcheroo, I traveled across the country (USA). So I had a four-fold hour adjustment on my hands, in my head and all that. ACK! Like you, I don’t wear a watch, I am a battery-killer. I even stop wind-up watches. Explain that, if you can. 😐

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — November 4, 2015 @ 18:48 | Reply

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: