Bitch on the Blog

May 11, 2016

Cost benefit analysis

Filed under: Amusement,Children,death,Human condition,The Reaper — bitchontheblog @ 09:04
Tags: , , ,

In response to the question of someone contemplating motherhood one commentator left the following:

“Don’t bother, it’s a waste of time. All that effort and then one day they will just die anyway. Pointless.”

Seriously, not even Sartre can beat this for a laugh.

Take it from this mother: The joy outweighs the certainty.




  1. What kind of a person that commentator must have been! As a father who is also now the mother, I agree with you. The joy is priceless.

    Comment by rummuser — May 11, 2016 @ 15:08 | Reply

    • You are right, Ramana, “the joy is priceless”. However, to spring to the commentator’s defense, I thought his comment hilarious. He highlights (tongue in cheek) the futility of it all and yet, and it’s a big and so life affirming YET, we live and give life for the pure joy of it [life].. Even if, yes, it all comes to the inevitable end. To have enjoyed sunshine (and suffered rain) is better than never having had the chance.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 20, 2016 @ 11:44 | Reply

  2. Wow. I can attest to parenting not being all giggles and hugs, but it’s a heck of an adventure in self-discovery and gives a person who is open to it an opportunity to really learn what it means to be human. If nothing else teaches you how to navigate life, parenting will. I think the joys and the sorrows are all worth it.

    Comment by Lorna's Voice — May 11, 2016 @ 18:03 | Reply

    • Lorna, so so so so so good to hear from you. Mea culpa is all mine. Yes, the very person who prides herself on being unquestionable loyal to those dear to my heart – till I need to do something unlawful – neglected you shamefully. As indeed I have Renee. I think some people are too good for me.

      That quote “Don’t bother, it’s a waste of time. All that effort and then one day they will just die anyway. Pointless.” made me laugh so much. Because it nails it. You toil, sweat and shed a few tears over your lifetime – for all it to come to little. Other than the joy any human being can give and reap. As you say, it’s worth even the anguished moments when your son travels the world without you standing by with a plaster (band aid).

      The Angel is the miracle of my life – though, of course, the thought that one day his time will come too, does break my heart. Not least because, in all likelihood, I won’t be there for him as I was when he was at the other end of EXIT (born).

      Big hug, Lorna, hope all is well with you,


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 20, 2016 @ 11:20 | Reply

      • Yes, all is well. I’ve been barely active in the blogging world over the last several months. No need to apologize! 🙂

        Comment by Lorna's Voice — May 23, 2016 @ 21:01 | Reply

  3. That certainly explains why philosophers never have children. Since I am hanging out in Germany at the moment and just got a lecture on German demographics, is the commenter German?

    Comment by Looney — May 12, 2016 @ 05:41 | Reply

    • Germany? Have you measured your travails by sausage and/or strands of Sauerkraut?

      Your assertion that “philosophers never have children” is true. But then, since virtually all philosophers are men, it stands to reason that they leave the wiping of little noses to their wives. And before you say that most philosophers didn’t have wives (mothers to their children) I know. In the wake of Socrates any man knows that Xanthippe is a cross to bear. Though he bore it well. And my father maintains his theory that if Socrates hadn’t be so neglectful Xanthippe wouldn’t have had so much reason to scream the Pantheon down.

      I prescribe to the notion that behind every great is a great woman. Unless you are Nietzsche’s sister. Bitch.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 20, 2016 @ 11:29 | Reply

  4. I can’t comment but looking at Mothers’ trying to vaguely control small tiddlers, it doesn’t look like a piece of cake. I believe the tiddlers do grow up!

    Comment by cedar51 — May 13, 2016 @ 04:55 | Reply

    • From your comment I take it that you don’t have children. I nearly didn’t either. Mainly because I felt I had had “my” children being my mother’s right hand bringing up my three siblings.

      And then? Nothing in my life has ever had me under such a tight grip as that “biological grip”. It was a life force if ever there was one. Though will say that if it had turned out not to be I wouldn’t have used any artificial means as are available. We cant have all just because we WANT. It’s one of the biggest fallacies of modern life.

      As to “control” you mention. Control doesn’t come into it. Yes, I was the perfect mother, naturally (insert smiley) and everyone says so. However, my son and I were perfectly suited in temperament. He was and is the most easy going person (unless provoked) I have ever known. He made it so easy for me my “mothering” was (and is) a peace of cake, a walk home.

      Thanks for commenting here, Catherine, despite myself largely absent in your blog’s comment box. I do look at your blog. Many thoughts on it, yet when I have nothing to add then even I can keep my mouth shut.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — May 20, 2016 @ 11:39 | Reply

      • Yep, I have no children of my own…my ex-DH had a problem and when it was discovered – he had decided that ‘we didn’t need kids’ – I went through hell over that as every 2nd friend had them…he thought having a tribe of cats was the answer, which it was my “mother” job to care for them – all the ugly stuff as well! He turned out to be a not nice guy who expected not only care of his feline tribe but much more care of him, he was mean with money as well… – he drove me into the ground in the END. .

        When we finally split up our business – yep, a business – and were having counselling, he said “I’m going back to UK…” – that kind of thru’ me because the business was going to become HIS and I would be left with own fledgling business and that one. But in the end he didn’t go back…probably because he would have only a few rellies there. He has no family here, other than me.

        I still see him, as he has uses – changing light bulbs is his key role now…as long as I have the bulbs and the step stool in the exact same place!!! Occasionally he tries to make see the “light” particularly on my lifestyle nowadays 🙂

        Comment by cedar51 — May 21, 2016 @ 23:07 | Reply

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