Bitch on the Blog

July 19, 2016

Mystery

Filed under: Communication,Friends,Human condition,Psychology — bitchontheblog @ 00:57
Tags: ,

How do they say : I have hit a wall.

I didn’t think it possible. I am fond of someone I do not like at all.

How does that work, you may ask. It doesn’t, I will answer truthfully. And no, it’s not romance, it’s a recent acquaintance with a woman quite a bit older than myself.

U

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4 Comments »

  1. I don’t see this as a problem at all. I have quite a few very good friends who are mad lefties; people you certainly wouldn’t introduce to your grandma!

    Comment by Cro Magnon — July 19, 2016 @ 03:03 | Reply

    • You are right, it’s not a “problem”. It’s perplexing. Far worse than what you suggest (difference of opinions – which doesn’t bother me at all, quite the opposite). It’s an actual dislike of the person as such. Yet, I am fond of her. It’s perverse, I am sure, in its own way.

      Which reminds me: Few more devastating words I imagine spoken than “I love you but I don’t like you”, don’t you think? I don’t know who of the two gets the worser (!) bargain; the one who loves but doesn’t like, or the one who is loved but not liked.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — July 19, 2016 @ 07:46 | Reply

  2. “I love you but I don’t like you”, my mother all over.. “I love you, you’re my son so I have to but I do not like you. You want spendtoo much time with other people than with your family.”

    Reply… “Think about that and you migth workout why that is.”

    If the person you are fond of is older than that might just be natural… they are older so you care about them.

    BTW : Who…… gets the worst of the bargain? butI do like worser…

    Comment by magpie11 — July 19, 2016 @ 21:31 | Reply

    • Dear dear dear. You don’t say how old you were at the time. Doesn’t matter. I believe children can be hurt by parents at any time in life. Though, of course, the younger you are the deeper the impact.

      I dare say your mother wasn’t exactly pacifier and/or diplomatic material. What people like her don’t understand that the more you “demand” by way of affection, the further you’ll drive the other away. There is a sort of twisted logic, no it’s not logic it’s fool hardy, that the more you declare your love the more the “loved” one will comply. To then play the “love” vs “like” card is cheap.

      The few snippets I have glanced over the years with regards to your relationship with your mother, I am reminded of that between my father and his mother. I knew from very early on that he felt tremendous animosity towards her. The air literally bristled when they were in the same room. For reasons I didn’t know.

      My paternal grandmother wasn’t a grandmother in the traditional sense. In fact I hardly got to know her. She was enigmatic, an extraordinary beauty, indulged by her own mother and older siblings, totally self obsessed. My father left home at age 14 and went to live with his grandparents[ it was a tougher regime but a kinder one at the same time. I don’t believe his mother was a bad woman. What she was was thoughtless woman. On one of the few occasions we met she was so vicious to me my father told her to pack her bags, called for a taxi and that was the last time I saw her (I was eleven). She never made any attempt to contact me or any of her other three grandchildren. The one meaningless note I had, in her handwriting, I eventually disposed of. Many years later when my mother phoned me to let me know about my paternal grandmother’s death I phoned my father later that morning. David, it was heartbreaking how little her death meant to him (on the surface). He literally shrugged t off. Was almost irritated by my offering my condolences. A couple of years ago I asked him a few questions – and he was surprisingly forthcoming as to how and why it all had gone pear shaped.

      As you know to me the mother/child bond is almost holy. i know of the grief of mothers who were abandoned (for little if any reason) by their grown up children. I know of grown up children abandoned by one or the other of their parents. The very thought breaks my heart. To me either is inconceivable.

      On a comforting note, David: Sometimes people say things, terrible things, they don’t actually mean. They say them out of misguided anger, out of stupidity, venting their own frustrations, whatever. Admittedly, and unfortunately, they are also usually the ones who can’t admit to it, apologize and explain.

      Scant comfort, David,

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — July 21, 2016 @ 13:07 | Reply


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