Bitch on the Blog

August 15, 2016

On Reflection

The older I get the more difficult I find it to voice my voice.

I know this flies in the face of wisdom, namely that the older you get the freer you feel to voice your voice.

I believe that when you are young you can get away with saying anything that springs into your mind and pops out of your mouth. Later? Later you reflect on what you have said. And even later you (try to) think before you speak. If this keeps going the pace it currently is you, Sweethearts my dear readers, will be so (un)happy to know that where once there was a merrily spouting well this mountain spring is drying up.

“Caution” is the word that comes to my mind more and more often. Translated into real Ursula speak “Forget it, leave it, it’s not worth it, say all you like won’t change a thing, save your breath, don’t waste time”. Disappointing. I know. Who’d have thought it? Me of all people. Shutting up shop.




  1. Ack. Don’t.
    P.S Or you’ll end up writing two worded comments like me.

    Comment by Scarlet — August 15, 2016 @ 18:09 | Reply

    • Scarlet. Can’t believe you grace my blog with your presence.

      Hug (even if you don’t – I need one),

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 15, 2016 @ 18:40 | Reply

      • I never say no to a hug!! I often read your posts, but feel to shy to comment!

        Comment by Scarlet — August 15, 2016 @ 19:43 | Reply

        • Shy, Scarlet? You could have fooled me. Still, as not to belittle your feeling shy, my bark (miaou) doesn’t match my bite.

          Which reminds me of a question I have long been meaning to ask you: With your beautiful calligraphy what do you make of people’s actual handwriting? Indeed what is yours like?


          Comment by bitchontheblog — August 15, 2016 @ 20:22 | Reply

          • Ha! I seem to be fascinated by all handwriting…. mine is rather scruffy. In this age of text and fonts it’s a joy to see anything handwritten… even a shopping list.

            Comment by Scarlet — August 15, 2016 @ 20:52 | Reply

  2. A lot of Trump supporters wish he would follow your lead and keep his mouth shut more often. 🙂

    Comment by cheerfulmonk — August 15, 2016 @ 21:20 | Reply

    • Particularly as it is such an ugly mouth – and that’s before he has spouted anything out of it. As I don’t wish to lower the tone I won’t say what his mouth often reminds me of. it’s disgusting. On the other hand, what’s her name, his wife, must see some redeeming features in him. If I were her I’d wear a Burka when going shopping. I’d be so embarrassed to be recognized as the woman married to that man.

      Fact is he reminds me of a slightly dense child let loose in a candy shop. He can’t believe his luck and, as the afternoon wears on, becomes totally hyper. Having worked with all sorts of special needs children (yes, really) it’ll all end in tears – unless someone gives him lithium. Which I don’t approve of. But desperate times ask for desperate measures.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 16, 2016 @ 09:30 | Reply

      • Oh, Scarllet, You are so right. Hand written missives are to be treasured…. and shopping lists? such wonderful social documents if we had bothered to keep them>
        I find using a fountain pen more and more difficult these days.

        Comment by magpie11 — August 16, 2016 @ 19:05 | Reply

      • his wife, must see some redeeming features in him.

        Money of course and a certain sense of power.

        Comment by magpie11 — August 16, 2016 @ 19:06 | Reply

  3. Yes, I am also becoming more and more careful about what I say. Is there a point? will this be well received? how can I make it palatable? should I even bother? is anybody listening?

    Speak up when it’s important, Ursula. The world needs people who can tell it as they see it

    Comment by kylie — August 15, 2016 @ 23:27 | Reply

    • Yes, Kylie. I am the least likely, whether it comes to my time or financial input, to be of the weighing “cost/benefit” brigade. As far as I am concerned: What I can give, have it. Ask my accountant (that’s the Angel) – and he shakes his head.

      However, there is no denying that – as time marches on – you become more protective of it. So, whilst I always will be here and on the phone, to anyone who wants to talk to me with no care as to the hours, I am beginning to question if I need to put my oar into all waters – proactively as it were. Trying to argue a different angle. And the answer is: No. God damn it, know thy limitations. Or, to put it more bluntly and won’t I be loved for it, know others’ limitations. No point wasting precious water pouring it on hot stones.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 16, 2016 @ 09:42 | Reply

  4. Quite natural. Compared to how I used to be, I am now among the most reticent of people!

    Comment by rummuser — August 16, 2016 @ 05:09 | Reply

    • “Reticent”. I like that word. Its very sound delivers what it says on the tin.

      My response to Kylie above does, in part, answer what you are saying.

      However, insert a wink and a smile, there is a type of being reticent that speaks louder than a thousand challenging words!


      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 16, 2016 @ 09:45 | Reply

  5. i’m having difficulties with the replies…I have a friend, who has suddenly got a snarky wisdom-remark about her…I have to be careful what I say, because before I know it “apparently I need to be retrained” – usually my remark is innocent but then said friend needs to “instruct me” – I actually called a mutual friend of ours to see if she had noticed the +++ opinionated situation – she said “I think she has some adult children problems…”

    Comment by cedar51 — August 16, 2016 @ 06:04 | Reply

    • Catherine, one of my more sage observations: You don’t necessarily need to grow a thick skin. Just stand by your convictions. Try to avoid swear words (oh dear, I could write a thesis on oafs who use that tactic), keep an open mind and, most importantly, do remember that the reader/listener of any comment/input also has to be held responsible for what THEY are hearing. You know… Lost in translation. Hot tip of the day I’d like to give all those who go off the rail at the slightest whiff of disapproval, as perceived by them: Give benefit of the doubt; make sure that good will hasn’t left the premises without leave.

      Mind you, as an aside, whilst I don’t think you a pushover I can’t see how you’d ever give offence. As your “mutual friend” indicated: Some people get out of the wrong side of the bed and don’t notice it.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 16, 2016 @ 09:57 | Reply

  6. Same here. It’s not worth the bother. On the other hand, I do a lot of muttering under my breath in what might be called a stage whisper.

    Comment by snmaeder — August 16, 2016 @ 14:02 | Reply

  7. For 37 years i held my tongue on all sorts of topics. A a teacher I considered it my duty to do so: Sometimes I would have to be emphatic. Consider how I as a teacher should answer the simple Question, “Who are you going to vote for?” or “Do you believe in God?”….so many apparently innocent questions from children are in reality traps for the unwarry…… Even reading Poetry has its dangers.. at least giving the back ground to one of Macaulay’s lays of Ancient Rome…. ” A man called Sextus had attacked and beaten up a female member of…..” Two days later I was called to the head teacher’s office and accused of talking about sex to the class. It was a couple of weeks before I realised what had happened and could offer an explanation…
    So having spent those 37 years watching my tongue I am not about to let some people get away with some of what they say or publish…… and if you are subject to unfounded attacks I will be the first to defend you…….

    Say what is on your mind save only that you must avoid being reported to Homeland Security for suggesting(in jest) that someone ought to administer Arsenic in the cups of tea of certain (un-named) people…

    Comment by magpie11 — August 16, 2016 @ 19:22 | Reply

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