Bitch on the Blog

August 17, 2016

Fallacy

Filed under: Human condition,Integrity — bitchontheblog @ 18:12
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This post is inspired by Cheerful Monk. Earlier today she reminded us that our long held believes/preconceptions need to be given a dusting and spring clean every so often. Be assessed as to their validity.

All day I let her thought ferment, mixed in with Magpie’s recent input, and what do you know? There I am ironing (I love ironing – you smooth out life’s creases, your mind free to wander), when the following popped into my mind. And I don’t like it.

A day or so ago I asserted that I was touched by those who pray for us. Magpie put his own stamp on it, then in the wake of Jean’s observation I suddenly thought: “OH MY GOD, why do I assume, why do any of us assume, that just because someone prays for us they do have our best interests at heart?”.

Don’t iron. That’s the sort of mind blowing stuff your idle brain will come up with whilst your hands are kept busy.

U

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12 Comments »

  1. Saying “I’ll pray for you” can be an insult. I remember my mother being furious when she was having problems with my sister and my sister said those devastating words.

    Comment by cheerfulmonk — August 17, 2016 @ 18:17 | Reply

    • Please do see my response to Kylie, Jean. Never thought of “I’ll pray for you” as a put down. Just shows you. There is more than one way of looking at the same thing. No disrespect to your sister, but it does sound like one of those easy and hurtful cop out phrases with little substance to support them.

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 18, 2016 @ 17:50 | Reply

  2. Why? Indeed…..

    Comment by magpie11 — August 17, 2016 @ 19:39 | Reply

  3. by definition, prayer is putting their best interest at heart.

    Even when it is said as an insult, it acknowledges that the person’s less attractive qualities are not entirely in their control

    Comment by kylie — August 17, 2016 @ 21:24 | Reply

    • “…. by definition, prayer is putting their best interest at heart.” Yeah. Sure. 😀

      Comment by cheerfulmonk — August 17, 2016 @ 22:50 | Reply

    • Interesting, Kylie, Had never thought of “I’ll pray for you” as a possible “insult” or, let’s say, an expression of sarcasm and a certain amount of disdain. But, come to think of it, you are right. Though it would be more honest and straight forward to just say: “You are beyond salvation” – or variants to that effect.

      However, and this concurs with your first point, I am sure that those who truly believe (and don’t just use it as a manner of speaking) are sincere in their offer to pray for you. Having said that, and you may like to read my answer to Looney’s comment, under the guise of “interest at heart” you may still be bitten by the one you least expected it from.

      Other than that, my dear Kylie, be assured that I respect others’ believes. And there is no doubt about it that whilst non-believers may feel (occasionally) beleaguered by those who do, I tread very carefully not to hurt the feelings of those of fervent religious allegiance. I’d say (politics aside) it is the one subject that has definite potential to divide even friends and family. However, only a week ago I met someone who appears to rise above all that. He has an analytical mind, both by inclination and profession, yet has – in my opinion – lifted the conversation to a much higher, I suppose you’d call it intellectual, level than your average subscriber to a religion. To put it another way: I didn’t feel uncomfortable, I learnt one hell of a lot and the conversation stimulated the more dusty regions of my brain, following me around for days. And that’s the best we can achieve when we don’t sing from the same hymn sheet – at least look at it together, open up and be friends. Unfortunately, whilst that might work among civilized and non militant INDIVIDUALS of both religion and non religion – as soon as you get opposing religious factions together it’s a different ballgame.

      End of sermon. Amen,
      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 18, 2016 @ 17:39 | Reply

  4. 🙂 Certainly it is all some sort of conspiracy. Just gotta figure out what the nefarious motive is.

    Comment by Looney — August 18, 2016 @ 00:16 | Reply

    • You say that with both a wink, a smile and possibly a certain amount of disdain. You may also like to read my reply to Kylie.

      A few years ago, and it was a momentous turning point in my life, I did in fact become the victim (and I chose the word victim deliberately) of a “well wisher”. That person wished me so “well” that not only did she rope some originally innocent bystanders into her scheme, I was also kept totally in the dark as to what the hell was going on. The setting was almost Shakespearan. As it were I had to fight a few fires on other fronts, so was rather preoccupied and, whilst confused as to certain vibes around me, I didn’t cotton on to their source. No, make that: I had never thought it possible that people will go behind your back “to help you”. It was not till the ringleader herself “confessed” (her word not mine) to me what she had started, things suddenly made sense. Or rather they didn’t because her “concern” for me blew everything out of proportion, caused huge damage to relationships all round. The fallout to this day is unbelievable. It needn’t have been. As far as I am concerned the damage could have been limited, even in the aftermath. But, as they say, you can lead the horse to water you can’t make it drink.

      The above is just to illustrate that the bearer of gifts (including a prayer) may not necessarily have “nefarious”, as you call it, intentions but not necessarily the best either. Or, to give benefit of the doubt, what one person – misguidedly – thinks you “need” doesn’t mean they are right. In hindsight I can’t tell you how many times I wish she had “just” prayed for me instead of putting her oar in.

      I don’t mean any offence to anyone, how can you ever prove (not that one needs to) whether it was a prayer that made the difference should things turn to the better? And that is what so many, say, Magpie and Cheerful Monk in this comment section alone, are critical of; a chimera. But, of course, not one anyone would wish to take away from those who go about it in quiet (which is, I suppose, why I like the Quakers and their functional furniture).

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 18, 2016 @ 17:41 | Reply

      • “not one anyone would wish to take away from those who go about it in quiet 2………. There I agree with you whole heartedly….. they are usually very good people and perhaps would probably be just as good without religion…… and quakers? I have met few if any but what I know of them tends to be good.

        I once came into the sphere of a Plymouth Brethren group…. They were love;ly people on Sunday but behaved in the most evil fashion towards each other on Monday…. they said it was business…

        Comment by magpie11 — August 18, 2016 @ 19:44 | Reply

  5. I don’t know about praying, but I often tick myself off for making assumptions – a hard habit to break.
    Sx

    Comment by Scarlet — August 18, 2016 @ 11:03 | Reply

    • Yes, Scarlet. And let’s not beat ourselves up over it. After all, assumptions are borne out of life’s experience – that which we observe. If we didn’t make assumptions we’d be pretty rudderless. Main thing is to not have them cast in stone, be open and flexible enough to reflect that there night be angles we hadn’t considered.

      Hug (there you go, you welcomed my hug now you are stuck with them),

      U

      Comment by bitchontheblog — August 18, 2016 @ 17:46 | Reply

  6. interesting the thought provoking – both your initial message and the comments made…I hadn’t thought of these different ways when someone says “I’ll pray for you” – I’ve had it put to me a couple of times, mostly when I was rather poorly.

    As for assumptions – that to my mind is another kettle of fish…

    Comment by cedar51 — August 20, 2016 @ 02:48 | Reply


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