Bitch on the Blog

December 31, 2016

Caution and the wind

This entry is inspired by Cro Magnon. He is an Englishman. No, not in New York; in France. If you are into growing your own food, dogs and questionable political views please do visit his blog. He is, unlike some, also a gentleman. One may say “refined”, with a, as yet small, dose of “ennui” thrown in.

Yes, so in one of his recent posts he brought to my attention a bit of folklore. Namely that when eating your first mince pie of the season you should  make a wish. This was news to me. But felt immediate relief that I hadn’t yet had THAT mince pie. If I’d had  I’d have wasted a good opportunity. He also, more or less, guarantees that that wish will come true. Marvellous. If I were five years old I couldn’t have been more excited.

Now the crux sets in – and when the Angel took me on a magical walk in the New Forest and to one of his favourite spots, on Boxing Day, I related one of his mother’s shortcomings to him. Remember Boxing Day is on the twenty sixth of December. I still hadn’t had my FIRST mince pie. Why? Sweethearts, it’s simple. There are times in life when I will dither. Whilst once upon a time (BC – Before Cro) I would have eaten mince pies with abandon, his innocent piece of information made me enter dangerous territory. What should I wish for?  I am spoilt for choice. Will I, by accident, wish for something idiotic (think of the fisherman, his wife – and they had THREE wishes – and how that ended up a bit of a disaster and a massive disappointment)?

I wouldn’t call myself indecisive but when it comes to wishes one can’t be too careful. So, naturally, and being risk averse, I keep postponing the moment. As I was relating to him this new found anxiety the Angel smiled. Ok, I said. I’ll take my life into my hands – bury me later -, on our return home we’ll have the first mince pies of the season. In separate rooms if need be.

Imagine my surprise when, back at the ranch, I rifled through the cupboards and couldn’t find any. I “knew” I’d bought them. Not least because they were on my shopping list. Nope. No mince pies. I even checked all my receipts. No mince pies. One wonders how the subconscious plays little practical jokes on us. Don’t quite know what to make of it. Should I be glad that I didn’t tempt fate? Should I curse fate that I missed a chance? Obviously I could just curse myself. In which case I’d need a mince pie to undo my curse. Where to go from here?

31st December greetings,




  1. You are in luck!
    Mince pies will be heavily discounted so you can enjoy heaps of them. Of course, there is still the problem of that wish.

    The discounted pies are probably stale anyway

    Happy New Year, my dear xo

    Comment by Kylie — December 31, 2016 @ 11:53 | Reply

  2. If I can find your address I will post some to you… Home made ready to be warmed int he oven and slathered with clotted cream.

    As children we always had to make a wish but the best tradition about first mince pies is the removal of the “lid” and the counting of raisins and sultanas stuck to it. This, supposedly, predicts the number of children one is going to have…. of course fate can never make up her mind and the number varies from year to year. This leads to the subject of ones wish, ” I wish not to have (insert number of raisins etc) children.”…… so far it has worked for me… two is the number.

    Here’s hoping that next year will be a good one for you and the rest of us.

    Comment by magpie11 — December 31, 2016 @ 12:46 | Reply

  3. I hope that you get a great deal of mince pies in 2017. All the very best for the new year.

    Comment by rummuser — December 31, 2016 @ 12:59 | Reply

  4. I’m only vaguely aware of what a mince pie is. I should get myself one, though, because one can never have too many wishes!

    Comment by Shoshanah — December 31, 2016 @ 14:18 | Reply

  5. Well the mystery of whether your mince pies are in my pantry is resolved – I can’t eat them, see it’s the dried fruit within them – and don’t suggest I get a packet of Aunt Betty’s Strawberry & Rhubarb variety – they were oftered to me on Xmas Day and they were just horrible!

    And around the same time, apparently one of our bigger stores of all things imaginable were offering Easter Eggs a couple of days before Christmas Day! Probably imported from some far flung country as this particular stores mostly sources from overseas…

    Comment by cedar51 — December 31, 2016 @ 18:41 | Reply

  6. I’ve never heard of that custom of making a wish with your first mince pie. But I worked out long ago that, on the occasion of wishing, the first thing to ask for is an infinite number of wishes. Then if one wish turns out badly, you can simply wish for everything to be put right.

    Cro Magnon once accused me of being antisemitic. Where that came from I have no idea. I’ve avoided him ever since.

    Comment by nick — December 31, 2016 @ 21:48 | Reply

  7. Wish I knew what a mince pie was, but not sure if I should wish to eat one or not. May U have a good 2017.

    Comment by Looney — January 1, 2017 @ 02:14 | Reply

  8. I don’t really like mince pies…. Cockney rhyming slang for eyes.
    Anyhow, Happy New Year!!

    Comment by Scarlet — January 1, 2017 @ 12:14 | Reply

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