Bitch on the Blog

January 5, 2017

Cold turkey

Some people do seek, or are advised to do so, aversion therapy. I don’t.

Why? Because, other than the usual candidates, I am averse to little. Particularly not people. I never tire of them. Not even bloggers (with potential) whose blogs I comment on who can’t be arsed to enter a civilized discussion (two at the current count). I take their idiocies in my patient stride. They may “block” me and my comments as often as they like (showing themselves up as the wastes-of-time I keep telling myself they are). And yet. What do I do? Keep going. Which is why I need aversion therapy in reverse.

Any suggestions, words of wisdom?




  1. if it’s working for you, go for it. If not, try something else.

    Comment by Cheerfulmonk — January 5, 2017 @ 18:05 | Reply

    • Which is your staple answer to anything. Not particularly helpful, not particularly original.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 5, 2017 @ 18:40 | Reply

    • Either you get it or you don’t. No sense wasting more words on the subject.

      Comment by Cheerfulmonk — January 5, 2017 @ 20:29 | Reply

      • Is this how you conduct your relationships “either you get it or you don’t. No sense wasting words on the subject”, Jean? To me words are never wasted. Particularly not those of others.

        I know you like to keep it brief. It’s your style. One which, on occasion, I find difficult to deal with. Doesn’t mean that I think you particularly cold, unsympathetic. Not at all. Just difficult for me to cope with. But then, as you keep saying “If it works for you, go for it. If not try something else”. No, Jean, that does most definitely NOT work for me. I never give up (by my own admission a questionable character trait) and why I asked for advice how to break spells that even the most fleeting blogging acquaintance occasionally casts on me.


        Comment by bitchontheblog — January 5, 2017 @ 20:58 | Reply

      • Do you really want to change? What’s the payoff for staying stuck? What’s the downside? There must be something there if you look deeply.

        You could try Focusing by Eugene Gendlin or The Power of Focusing by Ann Cornell to look deeply at your feelings and understand yourself better, or presumably any number of books on how to let go. If you’re really interested.

        Comment by Cheerfulmonk — January 6, 2017 @ 05:41 | Reply

        • Thank you for taking the time, Jean. I do appreciate it. No let’s rephrase that: i appreciate YOU..

          The wise (wo)man asks the right questions. And, yes, the questions you have asked are most certainly a kicking stone to get myself rolling. The most devastating question: “What’s the payoff for staying stuck?” Yup, insert pregnant pause. Ponder. Why would I deliberately put myself in woes’ way? HA. You are right. What the hell is the payoff for staying stuck? As you say, I’ll better “look deeply”, and I am. The answers I am finding and will find do not make altogether comfortable reading.

          How very perceptive that you should mention “focus”. Focus is my holy grail, Jean. How to focus. Once upon a time, not least when the Angel was born and in years to come, I sure did have one hell of a focus which I enjoyed, not to the exclusion of anything else, but was pivotal. I once told Looney, and it is no secret, that I spread myself so widely that focus, the very essence to be able to achieve anything, is often in danger to get lost in the vast mist of how I approach life.

          I can see it now. Lying on my deathbed, trying to focus (!) on my imminent demise, and asked what my regrets are. “Should have focussed when I still had the chance.” Never mind. I won’t so much live with it as die with it.

          Since you like hugs and I am generous to a fault, have some,


          Comment by bitchontheblog — January 8, 2017 @ 11:58 | Reply

        • Thank you! Yes, I do love hugs. ♥

          Comment by Cheerfulmonk — January 9, 2017 @ 03:38 | Reply

  2. Oh Ursula, stop being so pedantic. I suspect aversion therapy is mainly for people with really major addictions that seriously disrupt their life. If you’re not in that category, you probably don’t need it.

    Comment by nick — January 5, 2017 @ 21:13 | Reply

    • “Pedantic”? You didn’t understand a word I was saying, Nick. I WANT to be averse. To certain people. Instead of staying interested in them despite there being no point. Don’t you see?


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 5, 2017 @ 22:53 | Reply

      • But that’s the point of aversion therapy, to make you averse to something. I’m not sure it’s intended to make you averse to bloggers though. As Kylie says, simpler to wait till you’ve tired of them.

        Comment by nick — January 6, 2017 @ 07:46 | Reply

  3. when you finally decide you have had enough, you will stop attempting to engage and never look back. And that is how it should be

    Comment by Kylie — January 5, 2017 @ 21:37 | Reply

    • Kylie, I don’t know how you do it but, intuitively, you do: Namely understand. And you are right. once I have enough (but I rarely do – hence my wish for being more easily averse, deterred, whatever you want to call it) even I may stop engaging. “Never look back”? Unfortunately, that’s largely outside my capabilities. The best I can hope for is a sort of rational detachment, a wistful shrug of the shoulder and a sigh of regret – not least considering that even I won’t live forever and, therefore, have to stop spreading myself widely on lost and hopeless causes…


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 5, 2017 @ 23:03 | Reply

      • we think the same way! I just get it

        Comment by Kylie — January 6, 2017 @ 01:56 | Reply

  4. Bloggers Anonymous?

    Comment by rummuser — January 6, 2017 @ 13:27 | Reply

  5. U are simply a thrill seeker roaming the internet looking for an adrenaline rush. Living life the way it is supposed to be lived! Some people take up sky-diving or crocodile wrestling. Others try to engage with recalcitrant bloggers.

    Comment by Looney — January 7, 2017 @ 22:02 | Reply

  6. I like the Land of Blog precisely because I can engage or choose not to. Sometimes I lurk and just enjoy Blogs without commenting unless the topic engages me and draws me in enough to WANT to. On the flip side if someone comments on mine I do rather feel the courtesy is to respond and acknowledge… which is why I’m so Thankful mine is Supported well but not overly commented so that I don’t wear myself out trying to respond to everyone and acknowledge their time spend visiting me there. For me I don’t expect any response to my comments because I don’t even know how I’d receive it… yes, I’m just that Tech challenged and rarely go back to re-read a Post I already read so I wouldn’t know if the Blogger responded to my response or not? I think I’d become very tired and worn out from all the exchange actually. But I agree with Kylie completely, when you finally decide you have had enough, you will stop attempting to engage and that is how it should be. I thoroughly Enjoy your Blog and so glad I found it, you have some of the most thought providing Posts I’ve read in a while and I’m enjoying going thru your Archived Posts this Morning. Blessings from the Arizona Desert… Dawn… The Bohemian

    Comment by Bohemian Valhalla — March 6, 2017 @ 18:30 | Reply

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