Bitch on the Blog

January 13, 2017

Please select one of the following options

I need to vent a brief spleen. And who better than my helpless readers to vent it on?

One of the reasons I am considered to be so “good with children” that I have the patience of several saints rolled into one. Keyword “patience”. I myself would say that the reason I am good with children, indeed anyone, is because I am interested in them. But that’s not today’s spleen’s subject.

Patience. Naturally, as one would expect considering the laws of adversity, my personal life is peopled with people on a short fuse. GG (gay guy) had the shortest of them all. He was charming with it and, at a distance, one can live with other people’s short fuses. Though, truth be told, short fuses leave me bewildered. I don’t get it.

Back to where I started. I nearly blew a very long fuse ten minutes ago. Though I didn’t. It’s not that poor girl’s fault (Chinese, stuck in some god forsaken BT call centre, with an almost undecipherable accent to match) that the company she works for is what it is.

What got my goat – and not for the first time – that people just assume (in letters ASSUME) that I have a mobile/cell phone/handy so they can send me a text to confirm whatever there is to confirm. I DO NOT HAVE (see above). On relating this the dense will repeat the question: “What is your mobile number?”. This is the moment when even I (eleven minutes into a tedious call) am ready to burst a blood vessel. I don’t and I didn’t.

My question to you: Are we supposed to sing and dance to the same tune?



  1. 🙂 I am pleased to have as an acquaintance the last person on the planet to not have a mobile phone. Stick to your principles!

    Comment by Looney — January 13, 2017 @ 14:14 | Reply

    • “The last person on the planet”, my dear Looney? A dying species.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 14, 2017 @ 17:43 | Reply

  2. I believe that there are landline phones to which texts may be sent and from which texts may be sent. Good for you that you haven’t got yourself a mobile. It’s crazy the way everyone’s expected to have them nowadays.

    Comment by Maria — January 13, 2017 @ 18:28 | Reply

    • “Maria, Maria, Maria” … my voice soars. The name of the composer this minute escaping me.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 14, 2017 @ 17:44 | Reply

      • :). When I first heard that song it was contemporary. Classic now!

        Comment by Maria — January 19, 2017 @ 06:03 | Reply

  3. To answer your question: Yes we are all expected to sing and dance to the same tune. That doesn’t mean that we do or that we should.

    Maria is correct. We can receive something called SMS messages on out landline, The ‘phone even reads them to us…. but as for mobile telephones I do have one but I rarely take it anyhwere with me. Searching for it would add to time spent preparing to leave when I go out and would probably lead to a great deal of stress. The usual result of searching for mislaid items.

    Keep up the good work… if and when my phone “conks out” I will join your ranks.

    Comment by magpie11 — January 13, 2017 @ 20:24 | Reply

  4. Yes, that is super annoying! Where I live, there is no cell reception. Something about a those hills all around us. So when I try to add some security to things on the internet, it just automatically texts me a security code! Which I of course do not receive. I feel you.

    Comment by Shoshanah — January 13, 2017 @ 21:31 | Reply

    • Oh to live in a valley, Shoshanah. The echo, Shoshanah, the echo!

      I don’t live in Switzerland but do send you fond greetings from the Alps anyway.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 14, 2017 @ 17:44 | Reply

      • It’s not Switzerland by any stretch of the imagination! But it is lovely.

        Comment by Shoshanah — January 15, 2017 @ 02:07 | Reply

        • Yes, I know where you live. So far away. My somewhat opaque mention of Switzerland and/or the Alps was with reference to the echo. No bull. You can stand there in some valley, sometimes even a forest will oblige, and shout. Wait … and, oh the magic of it, it’ll come back to you. Be careful what you say.

          One of these days I’ll tell you the heartbreaking story of Echo and Narcissus.


          Comment by bitchontheblog — January 15, 2017 @ 13:35 | Reply

  5. People in customer service get very confused when you can’t be neatly fitted into their procedures.
    My regular one is when i say “no plastic bags, thanks” the reply is something like “not for the milk?” “what about the ice cream?”

    Comment by kylie — January 13, 2017 @ 23:02 | Reply

    • There are times in life, Kylie, when it’s best to just nod. And leave.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 14, 2017 @ 17:45 | Reply

  6. I do have a smart phone, but it seems yesterday, Felicia, a lady in payroll, assumed that I had one without even asking. I had returned to work this week in a new contract job and payroll had to update my I9 information. The I9 form is what US employers have to keep on file to prove that their employees are legal — either a US citizen or a non-citizen with legal status for employment (green card holder). Anyhow, the file had a photo of my old drivers license, which had expired. She asked me to take a picture of it and email it to her so they would have a picture of my current license (I’m not sure how that mattered — I didn’t lose my citizenship when my license expired.)

    After I had taken a picture of the license (with my phone) and sent it to Felicia as an attachment to an email (with my phone), it occurred to me that she must have just assumed that I could use my phone to send her a photo.

    For my part, I’m assuming Felicia is very likely a Millennial.

    Comment by Mike Goad — January 14, 2017 @ 02:59 | Reply

    • I hope Felicity will be living up to the meaning of her name (happy/lucky).

      Fact is, Mike, once upon a time we thought Bureau Crazy couldn’t get any worse. Take me to the woods any time. I won’t even need breadcrumbs to find my way back.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 14, 2017 @ 17:43 | Reply

  7. Andy and I have cellphones, so I can text him up on the land, but we don’t give out our numbers. His texts don’t always go through so he writes me an email just before he leaves for home.

    Comment by Cheerfulmonk — January 14, 2017 @ 05:49 | Reply

    • Jean, see what you mean. Once upon a time (ca mid Nineties) I was in the forefront of technology. The Angel started kindergarten and before he so much as set a foot into the place I purchased a pager. A PAGER. I ask you: How quaint is that? Motorola no less. It was small and very green. Alas, my son took life in his stride and that pager never alerted me once to come to the rescue.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 14, 2017 @ 17:41 | Reply

  8. I gave up long ago and got myself a mobile phone which has now been upgraded to a smartphone. Time you did too to avoid such modern inconveniences.

    Comment by rummuser — January 14, 2017 @ 13:06 | Reply

    • Yes, a smartphone is a thing of beauty. But I am perfectly happy to admire them – at a distance – in the hands of others. Fact is that, once upon a time till it snuffed it, I had a simple Nokia. The only person who had my number was the Angel. So we could, so to speak, talk when I was on the hoof, as and when the need arose. Other than that my landline is … you’ve got it and I’ll call you back.

      Sounds (and hope) as if, more or less, all is well with you.


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 14, 2017 @ 17:42 | Reply

  9. I have a very basic mobile phone, purely in case of emergencies like a car breakdown or an accident on top of the Mourne Mountains. When I tell a call centre person that I hardly ever use my mobile and they should take my landline number instead, they’re usually quite happy with that. I’ve never had anyone insisting I give them a mobile number.

    Comment by nick — January 15, 2017 @ 12:29 | Reply

    • It’s not so much that they “insist” (obviously there is nothing they can do about my lacking facilities) but the sheer incredulity at the fact I don’t have a mobile. That I don’t do texts. Why not send me an email? At least then I have something “black on white”.

      Not to put it too finely, Nick, but it does piss me off at times how we are all expected, like puppets on a string, to follow the latest technology. How the hell did we survive in the “olden” times? When not EVERYTHING was on INSTANT tap. Talking of which – for the second time in as many months my hot water has packed up. Oh did I reminisce this morning when, in the olden days, hot water wasn’t on tap. My kettle was (still is) on a rolling boil this fine Sunday. Or should that be “on a boiling roll”? Still, as I keep saying to the Angel, we need to take life in a brisque stride. Not get agitated. Be philosophical. Waste a lot of time (boiling kettles), think logistics and, my particular strength, being methodical. Yes, methodical. It’s what I adore about myself. I may live (occasionally) in chaos but it’s an orderly chaos.

      Hope your Sunday is shaping up ok. Apropos of nothing: Do you ever go for leisurely and aimless walks just for the sake/fun of it?


      Comment by bitchontheblog — January 15, 2017 @ 13:26 | Reply

  10. i have a simple s/phone – mainly because my other basic c/phone died. It doesn’t have every bell/whistle – most of the time, I don’t hear it, it’s now in other room – but I do try to have it on me – for emergencies or short texts to tell someone either “running behind on schedule” or “on ferry” (this on ferry to do with pickup by niece at her side of the harbour,,,,

    recently I have been taking more quick photos with it as I’m about to return to art-study with Photography as one of the majors…going to be getting a better camera soon, but trying to keep up with “clicking through” for now…practicing 🙂

    Comment by cedar51 — January 15, 2017 @ 22:33 | Reply

  11. The bane of my existence lately is that I’m raising Grandchildren whose Schools now want everything done online by either Mobile Phone or PC… assuming of coarse that we all have them, or the latest and best enhanced versions of them and furthermore are all proficient at utilizing them. I am Tech Challenged, my much Older Adult Grands dragged The Man and I into the 21st Century reluctantly since our Adult Children failed and gave up trying to. We don’t do much with our Technological Gadgets and keep Old outdated ones… so when I want to do things Old School wise and request it, the School System, or whatever Company/Institution you’re dealing with, looks at you as if they are viewing the last of the Dinosaurs that should be long dead. Irks the HELL out of me… Blood pressure rises, blood vessels ready to burst… The G-Kid Force usually come to my rescue, so Tech Savvy these Kiddos are… and it’s now their brave new World and how it is and probably shall be… but count me out. Dawn… The Bohemian

    Comment by Bohemian Valhalla — March 6, 2017 @ 18:17 | Reply

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